Dear Good Guys: There Are Good Girls Out There, I Promise

Joao Silas
Joao Silas

Dear Good Guys,

I get it. You’ve been searching for the kind of girl who takes things seriously—the one who isn’t going to mess around with your heart and when she makes a promise, actually keeps it. You’re looking for the kind of girl who’s not afraid to love, who might have a little baggage (because don’t we all??) but who doesn’t drag it around with her, letting it ruin all the new, beautiful things that come her way.

You’re looking for a girl who smiles, who says ‘thank you,’ who treats people with kindness and respect for no other reason than it’s just the right thing to do. You’re looking for a girl with a heart, one that may have been broken, but doesn’t define her.

You want the kind of girl who will let love in, who will open to you, who will be everything you’ve been missing because that’s exactly the love you’ll give her in return.

You want a girl who respects herself. A girl who knows her limits and isn’t easily swayed by someone’s words or by what other people think. A girl who doesn’t just give herself to any guy who comes along, but guards her body and soul and saves all of herself for a select person(s).

You want a girl who will stand her ground and be confident, a girl who will shine in all her uniqueness and flaws. A girl who can say yes, say no, say whatever the hell she wants because she believes in her own voice. But a girl who will treat you right and care for you, no matter all the ways she may fall short.

You don’t want perfect, you want real.

And good news? I promise she exists.

Love has become such a mess, hasn’t it? We’re spoon-fed fairytales but then told stories in complete opposition. We’re asked to behave a certain way, but then encouraged to fight all stereotypes. I get how hard it must be to be a good guy in this dating world—you’re supposed to be ‘men,’ right? Men that don’t feel. Men that sleep around. Men that are strong and tough and not easily attached.

But I know some of you fight against that. I know the good guys like you exist. I know there are guys who are patient and kind, who love with all they have, who trust, who are vulnerable, who express their emotion and aren’t any less of men for that.

And the kind of love you’re looking for? Well it’s the beautiful, pure, honest, open love you deserve. The love with a good woman. And we’re out here. We exist and we’re looking for you.

So please don’t be discouraged when you fall out of love with the wrong girl, when your heart gets stomped on, when love fails you and you feel like giving up on it altogether. Please don’t lose faith when you keep running into girls that just want sex and not love, the girls who take advantage of your gentle soul or don’t see the strength in your vulnerability.

Don’t lose yourself chasing the wrong girl, because the right girl is out there.

I know how hard it can be sometimes. But trust me, us good girls, we’re in the same boat. We’re frustrated by guys who only want us for what we can give, we’re tired of falling into relationships that are meaningless and driven simply by the physical, we’re so damn sick of opening our hearts to guys who aren’t ready to commit, to believe in love, to really care about us.

Sometimes us good girls look up at the sky and wonder where the hell the good guys are at. We wonder if you’re even out there. But we keep on believing.

And I hope you do, too.

I hope you believe in us good girls. The girls who will love you for you, who will appreciate your flaws, who will be tender with your heart without making you feel any less powerful, who will give you everything fearlessly and gently, who will take care of you and support you and build you up.

We’re out there somewhere.
And we can’t wait to find you. TC mark

Marisa Donnelly

Marisa is a writer, poet, & editor. She is the author of Somewhere On A Highway, a poetry collection on self-discovery, growth, love, loss and the challenges of becoming.

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