You’ll Never Find The Right Person If You Change Yourself Because The Wrong One Hurt You

Inma Ibáñez
Inma Ibáñez

You loved and you lost. You gave someone all that you had and you ended up heartbroken. I wish I could tell you that this won’t happen. But we’re human and love hurts and unfortunately, it will.

But the thing about love, is that it’s beautiful, even through the pain. The thing about love is that it’s always worth it, even if you end up broken in the end. The thing about love is that a hurting heart gives you a chance to rebuild, to begin again, to gather yourself and go back out there.

But what you need to remember is that you can’t change who you are because of a broken heart, because someone hurt you, or because you gave the wrong person more than they deserved.

You cannot decide to shift your ways because of the wrong one, because that leaves you empty and cold. You cannot become someone different because of the wrong one, because that only gives them power while weakening your own spirit.

You cannot choose to close yourself off, to stop being vulnerable, to be bitter and guarded because of the wrong one, because that only hurts you.

You cannot decide to change because the wrong one hurt you, because that will keep you from finding the right one.

The right one won’t ask you to change because he/she loves you for who you are. The right one won’t need you to be different, won’t need you to shift, won’t need you to be so many things that you can’t be because they want you.

The right one is looking for you—the real you—the you that is vulnerable and open, the you that lets people in and loves them fully and fearlessly, the you that doesn’t let a broken heart change the person you’ve always been.

So please, don’t let pain keep you from finding the love you deserve.

Don’t change yourself for the wrong person, for the heartbreak, for the difficult moments of the past, because I promise it won’t always hurt the way it does right now.

If you change for the wrong person, it’ll keep you from finding the person who loves the way you are, the way you give, the way you are selfless and forgiving and thoughtful and kind.

Hold out for the person that sees all of that in you, and treasures it. Hold out for the one who won’t break your heart. And don’t let the world change you. You are beautiful, and you deserve beautiful love. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Marisa Donnelly

Marisa is a writer, poet, & editor. She is the author of Somewhere On A Highway, a poetry collection on self-discovery, growth, love, loss and the challenges of becoming.

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