To fall in love is a commitment. It’s putting your faith in someone else. It’s trusting the bond between the two of you, and making a promise to be true. It’s saying that you choose that person, even on the days when they frustrate you, even when you are tired, even when that person is difficult to love.
You choose to love that person, to make them a part of your life, to devote yourself to them and create a place for them beside you. You make a commitment to them.
And with commitments comes difficulty. Because we are imperfect people trying to love one another flawlessly. Because we are imperfect people up against our own inconsistent ways. Because we are imperfect people, and we can’t always do and say the right things.
Because we are imperfect people trying to love, and love is hard.
And I knew this going in. I knew that we were two people who could never be sinless, never be blameless, never do every single thing right. I knew that we would disappoint one another. I knew that we could get hurt.
I knew that there might not be a ‘forever’ written in our stars, but I was stilling willing to try.
I’ve always seen love as worth it, no matter the pain or the end result, no matter where two people end up, or if they drift over time. I’ve always seen love as worth it, because when I love someone, I fall hard. And that person will forever mean something to me, even if we’re no longer together.
And so I fell in love and decided to make a commitment, this time to us.
I promised to love as fully as I could. I promised to put us first and continually work to be a better woman. I promised to be faithful, to laugh, to give all that I was to our relationship.
I promised to not think about an end, but love as if we could last forever. I promised that I would fight for you. And keep on fighting, even when things got tough.
I made promises I intended to keep.
I made a commitment, through good and bad.
I promised all these things, and I still promise this, every single day—no matter where this life takes us, together or separate, I will always be thankful for us.
I will always be thankful for our slice of time on this earth, for the moments we held hands, for the way we laughed, for our lazy Saturday afternoons, for the way we kissed as if time was running out.
I will always be thankful for the lessons we learned together, for the tears we cried, for the moments forever imprinted in my memory as the best days of my life.
I knew, going in, that we might not love forever. I knew that we could get hurt. I knew that I might wake up one day and no longer have you in my life—but falling for you was worth it. And will forever be worth every loss I face.
I’ll forever be thankful for who we were, even if we don’t make it to always.
Our love was beautiful, was big, was complicated, was powerful, was ours.
And I could never look back on it with regret.