I Just Want To Know That You’re In This For Real

Manik Rathee
Manik Rathee

Don’t play games with me.

Don’t act one way, then flip the switch. Don’t tell me one thing, then suddenly do the complete opposite. Don’t lead me on, then start to drift away.

Life is too short for lies and inconsistencies, too short to mess around with one another’s hearts and minds, too short to intertwine someone else’s feelings around our fingers with no intention of staying.

When it comes down to it, it’s very simple—either you like me, or you don’t; either you want this, or you’d rather mess around—and once you know the answer, you must either step closer to me, or you need to go.

I don’t mean to be harsh, I’m just protecting my heart. See, when I fall, I fall hard. And I want to know that if I’m falling, you’re going to at least be there, if not to jump alongside me, then to catch me when I do.

I know that love is scary. I know that opening up to someone is terrifying, that trying to learn who they are and taking careful steps towards them is probably one of the most vulnerable and bold things that we can do.

But if you come closer, I’m not going to run and hide.

You can put your faith in me, you know. As much as you’re hesitant, you can trust I’ll stand by your side. I’m not going anywhere.

So please, let me know that you’re in this for real. Put your fears aside and step towards me. Stop overthinking the ‘would be,’ the ‘could be,’ and the potential ways this could all crash and burn. Quit giving me half of your heart. And enough pulling away. Come closer. Come in.

I want to know that this is real, that the way my heart is pounding is happening in your chest, too. That you get the same sparks in your belly at the mention of my name. That when you close your eyes, sometimes you imagine me, and a smile creeps across your face.

I want to know that I matter to you, too. That this matters. That a potential ‘us’ matters, and you aren’t just toying with my emotions.

I want to be certain that if I let go of my fears and give into you, that you’re not going to turn your back on me. I want to know that if and when I tell you I care, you won’t just laugh in my face.

I know that this whole thing is scary. I know that trust is fragile. But I promise I won’t break yours. Just forget your fears and believe in me, in us, in the beautiful thing we are becoming.

I don’t want to do this alone. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Marisa Donnelly

Marisa is a writer, poet, & editor. She is the author of Somewhere On A Highway, a poetry collection on self-discovery, growth, love, loss and the challenges of becoming.

More From Thought Catalog