Sometimes You Won’t Get The Closure You Deserve (But You’ll Survive, This I Promise)

Sometimes love hurts. Like a gut-twisting, head-pounding, brain-spinning, tummy-flip-flopping type of pain. Sometimes two people fall out of love with no explanation. Sometimes a person changes and leaves you with no answers, staring at your reflection in the mirror wondering why.

Love doesn’t always make sense.

That’s the hardest part about being human and giving into this crazy adventure of letting someone in. You risk getting your heart completely broken. You risk your life shifting to a new direction. And you try to navigate this thing without a map, without a manual, without any type of rules.

Love is wonderful, but sometimes it hurts like hell.

And sometimes, months later, years later, you find yourself looking out the window on a cool summer morning wondering what the hell happened.

The hardest part about love is that sometimes it doesn’t make sense.

Sometimes you fall for someone who doesn’t love you back. Or maybe you’re the one breaking hearts. Sometimes your mind or heart changes, out of your control. And sometimes you’re at the mercy of someone else’s emotions, and something in them shifts.

Sometimes you will find yourself and your person falling out of love, like a confusing, painful tear down the middle. And it seems like there’s no explanation, just that it’s your time to be apart. So you agree, you say those breakup words, and you watch as that person disappears from your life. You tell yourself it’s fine, you’re fine, this is fine. But then your mind begins to reel. What happened? How did everything change?

Sometimes you don’t get the closure you deserve.

Sometimes people leave without giving you the answers you so desperately crave. Sometimes you can’t make sense of people’s heads, people’s hearts.

Sometimes there’s no answer, no reason.

Or maybe there is, but not expressed to you. So you find yourself scrolling back through old text messages, scoping through photos, torturing yourself with the memories of how things used to be.

I wish I could tell you that there is an answer. That one day this person whom you loved and loved you will stumble back into your life and explain their disappearance, their treatment of you, or why things ended how and when they did. But I can’t promise that.

What I can promise, is that you will be okay.

Not getting an answer sucks. Watching the person you care for so deeply change before your eyes and walk away, sucks.

But you will make it through.

Because life is filled with confusion, with change, and with imperfect people. Because as hard as it is to feel alone right now, you will forever have the wonderful memories of love. And you will fall back into love again, someday when you’re ready again.

You will make it through.

Because no closure, that’s all the closure you need sometimes. And you deserve someone who, no matter how hard it is, will express to you where his/her head is. And who won’t be afraid to be honest with you about the difficult, painful parts of falling in and out of love.

So stare out that window, for just a minute and miss them. Then let them go. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Marisa Donnelly

Marisa is a writer, poet, & editor. She is the author of Somewhere On A Highway, a poetry collection on self-discovery, growth, love, loss and the challenges of becoming.

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