I cannot plan out the future. There are no magic words, no perfectly detailed plans, no prayers I can mumble to somehow discover where I will go next, or what will happen to me, to us.
I can try to imagine a scenario; I can try to take all the right steps and walk a straight path. But even in all my planning, the universe still decides. Fate still decides. God still decides.
And so even though I like to pretend I have all the answers, I’ve made all the right choices, and I know, beyond a doubt, where I will go, I don’t.
And I’m learning to accept that.
I’m learning to close my eyes and lean my head back.
I’m learning to trust in a plan that’s greater than my own.
I’m learning that it’s okay to not know where you’re headed. To try, as much as you can to direct the course of your life, but then accept the challenges and celebrations as they come.
If I’m honest about where I’m headed, I have no freaking clue.
But I can hope. And I hope I’m headed somewhere with you.
I hope that the world lays out a road for us to follow. That it’s a messy road, a difficult road, but a road filled with love and laughter.
I hope we get lost and find ourselves in each other’s arms.
I hope we rediscover who we are meant to be, together and separate. I hope we learn the things that each other’s bodies hum with excitement. I hope we find out what makes us feisty and angry and bitter.
I hope we travel to all the places we’ve never been, but also retrace our footsteps on familiar land.
I don’t know where we will go, or what journeys we will take.
But I hope we take them together, hand in hand.
I hope we run until we get tired. I hope sometimes we run in our separate directions, but always find our ways back to one another.
I hope we marvel at the world and all its colors.
I hope we learn to not take anything for granted, especially one another.
I hope wherever we end up is exactly where we want to be. A place that’s filled with trees and sunshine, forgiveness and patience and all the things that make us human.
I hope we learn that love isn’t just something you fall into, but something that you uncover, like layers of an onion, pulling back fresh and new and beautiful pieces of each other, every single day.
I hope we never stop celebrating little things.
I hope we never stop having adventures.
I hope that we don’t worry too much about where we will go or what will happen to us.
Because it doesn’t matter where we’re headed.
As long I’m wandering with you.