If you thought I was the type of girl who would just move on and forget about you, the type of girl that would fade from your mind and your life, that would just disappear and never be heard from again—That sucks. Because you’re dead wrong.
I’m not the girl that just evaporates with a snap of your fingers, who suddenly ceases like idle chat before the start of a concert or an alarm when you smack the snooze button.
I’m more like background music in an elevator, something steady and comforting. Something that you don’t always notice, but when you do, you sigh, because it feels calming.
It feels just right.
I won’t disappear from your life like a ghost you forget about, like a ghost that never mattered. I won’t haunt you, but I won’t become invisible.
I’m the type of girl that no matter what happens, no matter why or how or what put a giant rift between us, I’ll always have love for you.
I’ll always care about you, even if I shouldn’t.
I won’t sit on the sidelines and watch you destroy yourself, your life in the aftermath of us. I’ve never been the type of girl to be in the background, to be silent, to not do something when something needed to be done.
When you’re acting like an idiot, when you’re being reckless, when you’re doing something that you know you shouldn’t, I’ll be the voice in your head that’s telling you no. And I’ll be the hand reaching out to you, pulling you back to safety.
I’m not crazy. I’m not a stalker weirdo, or someone that follows you around and checks your every move. I’m living my life and you’re living yours. I’m more like the call you make when you reach rock bottom. I’m the voice in your receiver, telling you to hold on, and that yes, I will always be here for you.
I’m the constant. The person you know will always support you, even when you’re being stupid, even when I’m not yours and you’re not mine.
I’m the girl that will always love you, and now love you from a distance.
Because I care. Because I always will.
Because that’s who I am and always will be and I’m not sorry in the slightest.
I know you don’t need me. I know you’re a man and you can do things on your own, and to that I say go for it, go be a man who doesn’t need anyone. I’ll still care about you. I’ll still worry for you. I’ll still want to be a part of your successes, and want to pick you up after you fall.
Though we aren’t in love the way we once were, and though our relationship isn’t the same and I no longer wish for your hand in mine, I will forever care for you.
One day you’ll realize this. And one day you’ll understand that love doesn’t just fade, it transforms. It becomes a different type of love, a love that I will always have, and I will never, ever apologize for.