8 Ways To Tell If He’s BF Material (From The Very First Date)

Emmanuel Rosario
Emmanuel Rosario

1. He does thoughtful little things.

This is the first date, aka first impressions. You can tell a lot about a person from the way they interact with you in the very beginning, and a guy that does the little things, the things that are so small and insignificant they almost don’t matter—that shows he values his time spent with you.

If he opens the car door for you, or the door to the restaurant; if he reaches across the table and holds your hand, or compliments you; if he brings you a rose when he comes to pick you up, etc.—he’s a keeper. No these aren’t deal-breakers and this isn’t the end-all-be-all list, but these are a few examples of small things that matter when you first meet someone.

And if he does the small things from the start, he cares.

2. He gives you eye contact.

Eye contact is everything. And in the world of social media, continual distractions, and interrupt-driven workplaces, someone that looks you in the eyes when you speak is someone to hold onto.

When he looks at you when you speak, he is telling you that you’re worthy of his time and attention, a subtle clue that he’s really into you. This means that this date, this moment—everything is important to him. And he’s invested in your words and your time together. This is important.

3. He doesn’t have expectations.

Dates shouldn’t have expectations. Neither the male, nor the female should expect that the other should pay for dinner, however, it is still common and considered chivalrous if the male pays for the date. This is still the way the world works, and no, that doesn’t mean women should go in expecting this, or feel entitled, but should instead be thankful, be grateful, be humble.

But for the men, it shouldn’t be expected that women pay, shouldn’t be expected that women go home with them, shouldn’t be expected that a night play out a certain way.

A man that’s BF material doesn’t have expectations on what should happen, or how. He is chivalrous, he has no problem paying, and he doesn’t look for favors in return.

4. He is focused on the date.

Life gets in the way, quite often. And our texting, apps, notifications, and ease of contact with one another has only made this easier…yet simultaneously difficult. Especially when we need to be focused on the present moment and present people.

If your man is distracted with emails, calls, texts, etc. it can either mean that

a. He has a job that’s very important and needs to be excused, within reason, to handle essential business.

Or b. He doesn’t have enough genuine care for you as a person to focus his full time and attention on your date.

If your man is focused on you, cellphone off to the side, distractions at minimum—he’s a guy that’s invested. A guy that’s definitely future BF material.

5. He doesn’t dominate the conversation.

A guy that talks, that talks about himself, and that’s passionate about his life, work, etc. is good. It’s wonderful to be on a date that’s interesting and that’s filled with conversation, but it needs to be just that—conversation. A back-and-forth, a give-and-take.

If he talks about himself, but then asks you questions; if he is super excited about everything he’s doing, but then gets you excited to share about your life—he’s a keeper. This shows he’s interested in you, not just interested in hearing himself speak.

6. He isn’t afraid to talk.

There’s a flip-side to this. You don’t want a guy that’s a conversation hog, but you don’t want someone who’s too afraid to talk either.

You can easily tell if someone’s boyfriend material by their willingness to be vulnerable, willingness to talk about themselves, their lives, their work, and their passions. If a guy opens up to you about his life—he’s a good one. It means he’s comfortable, but it means that he also sees you as someone he can trust, (aka potential GF material).

7. He’s curious about you.

If he wants to know things about you, beyond the standard first date questions, that means he’s into you. Which means that he’s a guy with promise and a guy who isn’t just trying to get through the date or understand you on the basic, surface, boring level.

8. He smiles.

Is he enjoying himself? Is he laughing, making jokes, smiling? Then this shows that he’s having fun with you, which means things are going well, which means you’re getting along, which means that the two of you have the potential to go somewhere and become something bigger than a Friday night dinner date. Yay! Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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