1. Your pooch is judgment-free. So binge on mac and cheese and BBQ chips all you want and he won’t bat an eye. (You’ll just have to share.)
2. He’s the best cuddle buddy. Ever.
3. You’ll be sure to get off your butt at least once a day. Runs, walks, trips to the backyard.
4. He’s a built in, cost effective security system. No need for a man when you have a dog that will fend off any intruders, burglars, or unwanted exes. Clutch.
5. He’s a fellow couch potato. Who better to Netflix and (actually) chill with than your dog?
6. He doesn’t talk back. He won’t pick fights, either.
7. He’s a bed-mate that’s not trying to get in your pants.
8. He will show you unconditional love. Boys suck. Dogs are dependable.
9. He definitely won’t cheat, let alone break your heart. Your furry friend might jump on everyone that walks through your front door or canoodle with a fellow bark-buddy at the park, but you’ll always be his human.
10. Petting cute, soft, fluffy things will instantly raise your mood.
11. No more loneliness. A 24/7 bed-hogging, cover-stealing, food-snatching, leg-tripping companion is way better than a human.
12. You’ll be forced to take care of someone other than yourself. Which means you’ll need to stop being a post-breakup blob and get your life together.
13. He doesn’t require extravagant birthday gifts. Or any other bank-breaking expenses. Just food, vet trips, and treats.
14. You now have a purpose. AKA: Taking care of a dependent animal 100% of the time. (Read: No more laying on the couch feeling sorry for yourself.)
15. He won’t change the channel. Oh, you wanted to watch Gossip Girl re-runs for the third time? So be it.
16. And he won’t demand you watch Sports Center when you’re really feeling MTV. Again, no judgement. Plus your pup will watch with you, curled up with his face in your lap. Bliss.
17. You can now guiltlessly rant, rave, gossip, and pour your heart out. And your dog will listen without interjecting irrelevant comments, texting, or rolling his eyes.
18. He will diligently and patiently sit through your dress-up sessions. And give you his undivided attention as you try on outfit after outfit (as long as you pet him every so often.)
19. Now you have an excuse to buy that adorable hotdog puppy-suit you saw at Walmart. And any other ridiculous costumes that you now have the money and time to buy. Can you say pup Instagram photoshoot?!
20. And he’s the perfect wingman.When you’re ready to be back on the market, your pup’s the solution. Everyone likes a cute girl and a cute dog. There’s no better dude-picker-upper.