A Positive Outlook And Outcome: When To Overlook Something In A Relationship


Simple gestures are the ones that speak volumes and show thought and care. Although we can learn to trust and have faith that others hold us in their best intentions as we may do for them, there are times that we may be guarded. We’ve been hurt in the past and don’t want to feel the pain and make repeated mistakes again. But each time we form any type of relationship, it’s about making choices regarding how much we’re willing to give, receive, accept, and invest within the dynamic. It is also realizing that each and every one of our relationships has a history and life of its own.

If we choose to see each relationship we have in our lives based upon the individual(s) involved, we can learn to uniquely navigate ourselves and them with more ease—as it’s case sensitive. We can leave past hurt, baggage, and upset that we have caused others as they have caused us behind and start anew with greater self awareness while moving forward. This is not to say to throw caution to the wind, but to approach someone/something without prejudgments and expectations of failure. It’s about taking a stance of neutrality and evaluating each encounter as it comes.

The more decisive that we become in ourselves, we are more open and honest. Others may also feel inclined to open up authentically, too. Time frames, life experiences, wants, goals, intentions, and personality all come into play when people merge together and create an overlapping rapport with one another. This is when it becomes important to “overlook” happenings, words, and actions said and done in a relationship that are trivial in order to create a solid and long lasting partnership. The process of the journey together can lead way to rewarding outcomes that could be clearly seen with a positive outlook. In Italian, “dai, guarda oltre” expresses just that—“come on, look ahead”…gently moving forward without resentment.

What if a surprise goes awry, communication gets lost in translation, and two perceptions of a situation are actually not the reality of what is? We may be quick to withdraw, run out the door, and at times can even give or receive push-backs that seem harshly unwarranted. We may throw verbal punches and make snap judgments and criticisms that may further add more insult to injury. And of course, others may be doing the same exact thing to us. Needless to say, we all experience both flips of the coin.

Too many times we’re so wrapped up in our own standards, preferences, morals and values, “perfection”, and are concerned about what others think of us rather than what we should think about ourselves. We forget that there are good, quality people existing in the world alongside of us. Yet if there is any type of slip up and even an ounce of discomfort that someone may cause us or we may cause them, the reaction is unfavorable and things are taken personally. Our walls come up to shield our minds and a layer of ice begins to cover our hearts.

Once we take a moment, we can learn to put our pride aside and realize that in fact we are all human. We are not immune to error, mistake, heartbreak, loss, and miscommunication. But we can make choices to soften up, communicate effectively, take each other on face value, and understand the difference of accepting what feels good vs. what is causing us harm. It’s our choice to stay when we feel mutually loved and respected or when it’s time to walk away if in fact we feel the contrary. This gives us the freedom to relax, breathe, and simply live with sincerity—within the relationships that we’ve created inside ourselves and with others. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Marisa DeMarco

More From Thought Catalog