This Is What Happens When You Fall In Love With The Cold Girl

The “cold” girl is a type of woman who is mysterious, with many layers to her identity. A girl who creates a special magnetic pull of curiosity that intrigues you and makes you want to get to know her better. When you meet this type of girl with the intention of knowing her on an intimate level, she can be perceived as distant and cold, because this type of girl is cautious with her heart and emotionally guarded.

This type of woman might act like she has no emotions or has learned to turn them on and off when she pleases. She will give you small pieces of who she is at a very slow pace due to past experiences that has made her fearful of new connections and love. The cold girl needs to make sure you are safe enough to start opening up emotionally and to become vulnerable with you. Love itself didn’t make her cold, detached, less trusting, and vulnerable, it is her past relationships, situationships, or childhood traumas that did. Overall, this type of woman may be labelled as cold, but in reality, she is just emotionally guarded.

At one point in her life, the cold girl was an all or nothing type of person with her heart. She could be perceived as naïve because she was always ready to give and receive love; she was a hopeless romantic who had faith that the right one would come along. When she was interested in someone at this vulnerable stage in her life, her emotions were fully invested from the start, fully trusting and over-giving. The cold girl used to bend over backwards for the person she was interested in because her heart is pure. All she wanted was someone to love her the way she loved others. So how did this vulnerable, hopeless romantic become cold?

The cold girl came across repetitive cycles with potential romantic interests that only left her hurt after each romantic experience. She dealt with unstable connections with emotionally unavailable people in the hope for her situation and person to change in a positive, emotionally fulfilling way. After each hurtful experience, she guarded her heart even harder and became immune to feeling hurt, numb to disappointment. She learned how to protect herself and became emotionally guarded. Aside from her building walls around her heart, she still maintained faith in finding love, as she was not fearful of testing a new connection when the opportunity presented itself. The cold girl still wants to experience true love, but her biggest fear is being hurt and disappointed, so today, she proceeds with caution.

The cold girl will test you to see your true intentions with her. She doesn’t mean to test people maliciously, but she uses her past experiences and knowledge to protect her heart and avoid making the same mistakes twice. This type of woman has become an observer of who you are as a person from the beginning. This analyst approach allows her to decide if it is worth putting her true heart into this connection. She will pay attention to the red flags, the effort you are putting in, the respect she receives, if you genuinely care about her mind, her passions and her heart, all with the intention of observing how much of a priority she is to you. The cold girl will only reciprocate the same energy she is receiving, and only this time, from a logical and emotional distance, until you feel safe and trusting enough for her to open up and show how loving she really is. She will not speak up or be vulnerable about how she should be treated in the beginning, because due to her past hurtful experiences, the cold girl already knows how to be treated. This type of woman became more aware of her self-worth and confidence, and today, she would never settle for anything less than she deserves.

She will give you a lot of space, because the cold girl knows space too well. To her, space became comforting, because being away from others just meant no one could hurt her. Loneliness and being single became contentment, not something she was lacking in her life. So the cold girl will give you space and be okay with it because she’s used to it. She understands what healthy space is, but she will resist contact for a while, putting herself back in an observant and logical position. She is analyzing, observing, and testing to see if the connection is worth putting her heart into. If you are a potential love interest and she is genuinely showing you interest and consistency and shows in subtle ways that she is interested, please be patient with her. The cold girl is longing for her person. Someone who is her best friend and her lover at the same time. She wants someone she can be herself with and someone she can trust to go through both highs and lows with.

You might think that the cold girl seems like a lot, but in reality, the cold girl is just a hurt girl. Everyone has their own story. Today, the cold girl has just learned to use her head over her heart first. She is logical but still uses her heart space when she feels it’s safe to. She only uses these tests to protect herself. She is aware that not every person is out to hurt her, but she has just become more aware and cautious of who is truly deserving of her love. She is ready for love; she always has been.

Remember, the cold girl is still the same girl she was before she got hurt. Deep down she’s a warm, passionate person who is capable of loving deeply, but now, her heart is surrounded by a lot of walls and maybe a few locks. All the cold girl wants is someone to fight for her, and to break down her guard to prove that it is safe for her to love again.

About the author

Marina Stathakis

founder of damaged in darkness. let’s connect!