Independent Study 408: How to Avoid Telling Your Boss to “Go Fuck Yourself”
He’s the guy talking to billable employees for over an hour everyday, but of course has to remind the support staff to cut down on office chatter. Eye roll.
Assignments include: Mock interview with pretentious assholes, conflict-resolution hearings, and learning the art of biting your tongue.
Independent Study 290: Making Your Cube Bearable
This course may or may not include crafting hand-made snowflakes to hang on the wall, gathering candles, three different scents of lotion, a cozy blanket, snacks and a picture of a significant other to try and make the hell hole more bearable. Some days it actually helps.
Assignments include: Term paper on what your cube means to you, interpretations of surrounding colors, and bringing in comfort items from home.
Sociology 315: Don’t Ruin Your Relationships
We’re all dealing with some shit right now. The message of this class? Unplug every once in awhile and stop looking at your friends’ highlight reels we call Facebook.
Assignments include: Calling your significant other three times a week, planning date nights, leaving phones off during quality time, and forgiving the small things.
Sociology 312: Letting Go of Toxic Friends
This course focuses on a) getting rid of those draining, energy-sucking people first. Then b) checking yourself. If you offer no real friendship but expect the world in return, eventually people are going to let you down, and while you may think that it was 100% their fault and that you’re the one who let them down, you need to take a hard look in the mirror and evaluate what you could have done better, too. Then move on.
Assignments include: Cutting off access to all social media, ignoring text messages or calls, and a final paper on how your life has changed without that person(s).
Finance 263: Financial Stability (AKA Making Ends Meet While Still Having Goals)
Sure you’ve saved a decent amount of money for a down payment, but will you be able to make the monthly payments when that account gets depleted? And yes, you have enough money in your account for your automatic debit to pay your student loans, but did you forget that your car broke down the other day and you need to pay for that? Yep, it might be cheaper to pay a mortgage than rent right now, but can your credit survive if your house gets foreclosed on?
Assignments include: Balancing a check book (without a computer), filing taxes, and deciding the best retirement plan for you. (PSA: It’s never too early).
Real Estate 102: How To Actually Buy A House
(Must be enrolled in Real Estate 212 concurrently!)
Escrow… Esgrow? S Crow? S Grow? I’m in what now? Where is that and how do I get back home?
Assignments include: Scoping out and meeting with reputable lenders and realtors, reading and interpreting contracts, and understanding what “passing inspection” really means.
Real Estate 212: How To Maintain This House
(Yep, you guessed it. Must also be enrolled in Real Estate 102.)
Blowing out sprinklers?? Is that some sick joke? You’ll find out all that and more in this course.
Assignments include: Blowing out sprinklers, fixing a leaky pipe, dealing with a flooded basement, and deciding when to buy a new roof.
Home Economics 112: Cooking on a Budget
Because apparently living off pop-tarts and Ramen isn’t “good for you.”
Assignments include: Determining the best types of salads for your lifestyle, coupon clipping and eating all the leftovers in the fridge.
Life 300: Getting into Healthy Routines
Heading to the gym after work always sounds like a good idea…until you’re done with work. And we all know your good intentions of getting up before the commute to jump on the treadmill. (Yeah right.) It’s time for a change.
Assignments include: Trying to work out in the morning, braving the office gym at lunch, working out after 5pm, and not eating after 8pm.
Life 105: Easy Exercise Habits
A few squats at your desk maybe? Some crunches alternated between all-day ass sitting?
Assignments include: 5 minute exercises, deep breathing techniques and proper stretching techniques
Adulting 879: Life is Hard
We’re all learning. Don’t give up now.
Assignments include: Forgiving, learning from mistakes, and making the best out of shitty situations.