Love works in mysterious ways. Sadly, you do not always fall for the right ones. You may fall for someone who is not meant to love you. You may fall for someone who is unable to keep up with all you have to give, and they may be great and amazing and everything you think you want, but you may not be the same for them.
But you don’t get it at first. You may not even notice how you are willing to change, willing to grow smaller, willing to beg, willing to not be yourself, willing to be anything just so at the end of the day you could have that person around.
And I do not blame you. No one can blame you. We have all done crazy things in the name of love. And this is all love. Not thinking twice is love. Choosing someone is love. Ignoring a bad attitude or a cold call is love. Giving excuses is love. Trying to work things out and doing double the normal effort is definitely love.
Except your love is not always poured in the right place. Sometimes all this effort is given to people who never do the same, not even close, for you. Sometimes you choose someone and it is as if it is only you in the relationship.
It is hard to leave a one-sided relationship where the one side who is so invested is also so in love. It is hard to convince yourself that choosing yourself matters. That you shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting to be as prioritized. You keep saying you can give a second chance. You would rather grow patient for the one love word that is told to you than let go. You would rather forgive at the first glance of their tenderness than leave.
But someday you might wake up so tired because the person you’re with always puts you second. Someday you might wake up and realize you have been sleeping every night and asking yourself if you are good enough without being reassured. Someday, you might wake up and feel regret, not for being the one who loved the other more, but for giving someone a chance they didn’t ask for, for accepting so little a love when you had the mind not to.
If that happens, when that happens, this is your reminder that leaving won’t mean giving up, it’d just mean knowing when things must come to an end.
This is your reminder that if you are In a place where you are not seen, not appreciated, not chosen, then letting go is something you should do, even if it breaks your heart, even if you thought you could fix it, even if you thought you could find a way.
This is your reminder that choosing to not accept so little a love may never mean you will stop loving them. In fact, you may always hope they could have loved you better, you may still wonder if you were supposed to do something to make them see you.
But you were not supposed to do anything. What you are supposed to do is to stop choosing someone who doesn’t choose you. Stop doing this to your heart. Stop hurting yourself that way. Stop giving people a place in your heart they don’t deserve, and stop, please stop, not knowing what you deserve.
For you deserve to be chosen. You deserve to be seen. You deserve to be someone’s answered prayer. You deserve to be the one they have always wanted. You deserve to give effort that is reciprocated and love that is celebrated and a heart whose worth is known and seen and valued, and you don’t deserve to feel guilty for that.
You see, I am only here to remind you, so as to not live the rest you have got thinking love is a punishment—your love is a magical thing. A sacred, beautiful thing that will always be big, that won’t stop at this person, and even if you have to wait, know that someday, when met with a love just as sacred, it’ll no longer hurt waking up. It’ll be worth it.