How To Know If They're In Love With You Or Just The Idea Of You

How To Know If They’re In Love With You Or Just The Idea Of You

In order for a relationship to be at its highest frequency, the foundation must be strong. The foundation must be secure. The foundation must be one of truth. The foundation must be real. The foundation must be unbreakable. A deep bond must be formed.

However, the question is: how do you make this kind of foundation? I say that you fill it with truth because truth is love. Then, the next question is: how do you fill it with truth? I say that both partners must bring their true selves to the table from day one. Additionally, both partners must go to the depths of the other’s soul and learn about each other. However, they must continue to do so. They must never stop learning about each other.

Unfortunately, not everyone comes to you with good intentions. And sometimes they don’t even know that they don’t have good intentions. Sometimes they didn’t even study their own self. So what makes you think that they are able to study another person’s soul? They haven’t learned how to do that yet. As a result, one person usually ends up hurt.

I’ve heard too many people question whether someone loves them or the idea of them. I think that we can all relate. I think that we have all felt this at one point or another. Thinking about this question is scary because you don’t really know the answer. You can’t know exactly what a person is thinking unless they tell you. And even then, it is human to question if they are telling you the truth. The only option left is to actually follow your intuition and to trust that a particular person has good intentions for you.

However, if you find yourself heavily questioning if someone loves you, then perhaps it is your intuition speaking to you and you should listen. You should pay attention. Don’t stay somewhere that isn’t for you. Here are some signs that will help you determine if someone has fallen in love with you or just the idea of you. 

1. They tell you “I love you” very quickly.

There is no appropriate time as to when someone should tell you that they love you. Love has no timeline, and it comes on its own. However, if someone doesn’t know you at all and claims to love you, it is a red flag. They might not take love as seriously as you. I know that some people believe in “love at first sight.” However, even those people will usually wait to let the other person know how they feel. Most people need to feel sure about it before saying those important words. If someone just throws this word around, then it is a sign that someone has created an idea of you and they love that certain idea of you, instead of actually loving YOU.

2. They don’t try to know the real you.

Are they paying attention to what you like? Are they studying you? Are they searching for your core? Do they care about what moves your soul? Do they know what makes you sad? Do they know about your past? Do they care about what hurts you? Do they know what makes you happy? These are all important questions. If they don’t try to get to know you deeper than the rest of the world does, then what is the point? This is a red flag.

3. They try to be someone they think you will like instead of just being themselves.

Did you ever meet someone who changes who they are in order to get you to like them? Did you ever meet someone who lied about what kind of music they liked? I know that this doesn’t sound like a big deal, but it eventually will be. These small lies add up. Their true colors will eventually be exposed. This is the most dangerous kind of person because this person doesn’t know their own identity yet. In other words, this person typically doesn’t even know who they are yet. As a result, they can’t know you. Therefore, they can’t love you. They can only love the idea that they have created. 

4. They say things that aren’t genuine.

If you ever feel in your gut that what someone is saying isn’t genuine, then it probably isn’t. Sometimes people say things to try to make you feel better about yourself just so you will like them more. Pay attention. Just be careful that this isn’t paranoia because sometimes what we have went through in the past can affect our decisions now.

5. They are set on a particular kind of future with you without even discussing it with you.

If a person is already set on the future that they want with you without even discussing it with you, then it means that they just want you to fit into their world. It means that they don’t care about your needs and your wants as a person. When they chose you, they believed that the idea of you fit theirs. You shouldn’t stay in this situation for another second.

6. They become complacent after they have you.

Have you ever felt someone stop making an effort so quickly? This is a sign that the challenge to “get you” is now over. This usually means that they were in love with the idea of winning you over. They were excited, but now that they “have you,” they don’t feel the need to make an effort anymore. Their ego is now fulfilled. Sometimes people do get comfortable unknowingly, but if you bring this up and there is absolutely no change, then you should reconsider if you are being valued. Don’t stay somewhere that doesn’t fulfill your soul. TC mark

About the author
I'm an Attorney, Author of 14 books, & a Word Magician. Bronx Native! Follow Margaritë on Instagram or read more articles from Margaritë on Thought Catalog.

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