11 Ways Guys Hit On Girls, And How To Tell If They Actually Mean Anything

New Girl Season 4
New Girl Season 4

1. Making fun of you in a fourth-grade-flirting way (ie. giving you an awkward nickname, throwing bits of food at you from across the room, doing that stupid ‘tap on the opposite shoulder’ trick)

Does it mean anything: Are you literally in fourth grade? Then, yes. But you should probably stop reading this site. Is this your bored-to-death coworker just trying to make the hours pass? Then probably, no. Does this only happen when you guys happen to be at the same party / bar? Then maybe, but only in a lazy, I-never-learned-how-to-flirt-like-a-grown-man way. No shame in trying to make life more amusing for everyone involved, but probably best to take it for what it is.

2. Texting you every Friday night to ‘see what everyone’s up to’ or find out where the party’s at.

Does it mean anything: If, when you tell them where you’re at, he’s there exactly 7 minutes later, then probably yes. If this is a regular occurrence, and you somehow never end up at the same place, then no. He’s bored and lacks the imagination or drive to make his own plans in advance.

3. Remembering something specific that you mentioned in conversation and following up on it.

Does it mean anything: You said you love David Sedaris and he bought the book the next day? Damn, that’s actually a pretty solid ‘yes.’ You told him you love Animal Collective and he sent you a link to an upcoming show? Almost definitely a yes. People in general are atrocious listeners, so the fact that he wants to prove he knows this kind of stuff is kinda *kewt.* The thing is, though, it just means he’s interested. Not really the same as ‘wants you to have 7 of his children.’ But still.

4. Asking your friends about you.

Does it mean anything: Decent chance yes. Although, depends on the nature of the question. Is he just asking her what you’re up to in a casual ‘trying to make conversation with her’ kind of way? Or did he ask something specific, like whether or not you have a boyfriend?

5. Offering to buy you an alcoholic beverage.

Does it mean anything: This is like asking what it means when someone texts “Hey, how are you doing?” It could mean they just want to hook-up, it could mean they’re not great at introductions and the most cliché opener is all they’ve got in their repertoire.

6. Using the heart-eyed emoji in your text conversation.

Does it mean anything: People don’t just hand out heart-eyed emojis for nothing. At the very least there’s some serious aesthetic satisfaction being expressed behind this tiny little cartoon face. If there were a logo for flirtation, surely this would be a leading candidate. It could mean anything from him wanting some physical action to him having more serious feels.

7. Prolonged eye contact.

Does it mean anything: Could mean he wants to know you, could mean he’s a murderer. The worst case is so much worse than the best case that it’s truly a risk to see what it is that a starer wants.

8. Dancing with you.

Does it mean anything: This is directly related to how many drinks he’s had. 0 drinks = first off, you found a dude who will dance on 0 drinks? Keeper! But also, he’s probably being dorky and putting himself out on a limb to entertain you, so yes. 1 drink = Maybe, if he’s generally shy and this is a big move. If he’s an attention whore in general, probably no. 5+ drinks = yes, if by yes, you mean the fact that you’re a sentient being that doesn’t fall over when he almost accidentally falls over on you.

9. Offering to help you move and/or take care of your pets.

Does it mean anything: First off, did you ask or did they offer? Because saying ‘yes’ to a plea could very easily just mean he was raised up right and has a fear of refusing to help without appearing like a chauvinistic asshole. But if he offered, or if you *lightly asked* and he was like “Oh hell yah! Let’s move this bitch!” then, you know what, maybe yeah. Moving sucks a big one, so willingly involving himself in that process is an act of chivalry to be noted.

10. Asking if you want to study together.

Does it mean anything: Are you a notoriously anal note-taker who cries openly if you get an A-? Well, I would probably want to ‘study’ with you, too. Are you a stoner who is known to use the textbook to prop up your laptop while you catch up on House of Cards…while in class? If so, to be honest you may have a rough time later in life BUT, in this particular situation, sounds like you’re on the right side of a crush!

11. Sending you a dick pic.

Does it mean anything: Well, yes. It means he thinks he has a First Rate Dick and therefore, most likely is one. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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Mandy Zucker

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