If You’re Thinking About Moving In Together, Read This

If you’ve ever moved before (who hasn’t, really), you know just how burdensome the process can be. From packing boxes for weeks on end to transporting a life’s worth of belongings to your new home, it’s no secret that moving is draining. Which begs the question: Why do people move? Or alternatively put: What makes moving worth it?

Aside from relocating for a job or to ‘settle down’ or to get away from your little home town, one of the primary reasons people move is for their significant others. But if you’ve ever contemplated moving in with your significant other, it’s important to make sure that you’re doing it for the right reasons and that it’s the right timing.

Why move in together?

The reason for moving in together should primarily be that you want to take the next step in your relationship. Some people move in with their partner to avoid the long-distance relationship struggle. In fact, almost 60% of people say they would find a long distance relationship more stressful than relocating to live with their partner. Some even say that a high cost of living in their city would prompt them to move in with a significant other sooner.

If you ask me, you shouldn’t just do it for the cost savings. Make sure you’re really ready.

A lease is up, your apartment is pricey, their apartment has extra space, their apartment is closer to your workplace, your current roommate is annoying and eats your food, etc. These reasons might make it seem like the right time to move in with someone, but don’t fall prey to flawed logic. You’ll end up regretting it if you move in with someone just for one of these reasons and not because you genuinely want to take that next step with them.

How soon is too soon?

Moving in with your significant other is a huge step in a relationship and should not be rushed — no matter how much you’ll save in rent. From sharing furniture and living expenses to adapting to your partner’s daily routine and lifestyle, this is not a decision that should be taken lightly or made too soon. Spending a lot of time at your partner’s place and staying over is not the same as living with them. When you live with them, you have no other home to go back to and be alone. You not only have to adapt to sharing your own home-base with someone, but also have to figure out a way to find time just for yourself.

It’s hard to put a specific timeframe on the decision because it depends so much on the unique circumstances of your relationship. A general rule of thumb is a couple years into the relationship. This could be shorter if you’ve known each other for a long time, even before the romantic endeavor began, or if you’re older and more ready for a serious commitment. Don’t feel like you can’t make this big step if you’re younger, but be aware that you may still need room to keep finding yourself, which may put added stress on a shared living situation.

At the end of the day, regardless of anyone else’s timeline or opinion, this decision is for you and your partner to make. If it makes you both happy, then it’s the right decision. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Madeleine Brady

I’m very good at pretending I know about “girly” things.