Every relationship begins with sweet gestures and lovey-dovey moments. Moments that make you fall in love. Moments that blind you from the truth.
It begins with subtle signs.
You ignore the signs.
You excuse his actions. You tell yourself that he is just overprotective—that’s why he doesn’t want you conversing with male friends.
You tell yourself that he cares too much—that’s why he wants to know where you are all the time. That’s why he constantly calls and texts you.
You apologize because he makes you believe that everything is your fault.
You walk on eggshells while speaking because you don’t want to say something that would upset or offend him.
You distance yourself from friends because he wants to spend every minute with you.
You distance yourself from family because he needs to spend every day with you.
You lose self-esteem because you start to believe the hurtful things he says to you.
You lose self-worth because he insults your intelligence, beauty, and achievements.
You lose self-confidence because day by day, he takes it away.
You sacrifice because you fear he will resent you if you do not put him first.
You deny it because you love him.
You want to walk away because you realize that he is manipulative.
But he convinces you that no one else will ever love you.
You stay because you believe that no one else will ever love you.
You feel worthless because he wants to feel superior.
You search for the good. You search for the person who you fell in love with because the good moments and the glimpses of hope are what make you want to be with him.
You realize that he has always been this person.
You feel worthless because he has made you feel this way.
Manipulation comes in all different shapes and sizes. Manipulation disguises itself in forms of love.
It is okay if you have mistaken manipulation for love. Never blame yourself. You never know a person’s true intentions or motives in life.
It is okay if you have tried to walk away from a manipulative love and failed.
You are strong. He will never take that away from you.
At times it may feel as though he has changed you or that he has taken away pieces of you, but underneath, you are still the same person. You just might have to take some time looking for yourself, rediscovering.
This relationship does not define you.
This relationship does not define how strongly and passionately you can love.
The first step is recognizing the signs.
When you are ready to leave the relationship, you will leave. And when you take this step, you will feel free. It will feel like you can finally breathe for the first time in forever.