Me: I mean, that’s a very unhealthy dynamic to have, where it seems like… you know… where it’s living vicariously through her, but like, Patsy had been a beauty queen too and almost… jealous that she [JonBenet] is good at it. Possibly even better than Patsy had been. And so that’s like, setting her [JonBenet] up for… failure. Because it’s like, “Do all this stuff! Oh now you’re doing it so well, I’m jealous of you, so I’m gonna take that out on you.”
Amy: Mmm hmm. And she’s saying that, her mom had… was like a robot. She had, she had the ability to… be robotic. And… and the way she’s allowing me to feel that is like, a brainwashed, kind of…? She’d go into a kind of, a mode that was completely… robotic and brainwashed. And she taught… JonBenet how to do that. How to… how to do that. There’s more to that, I don’t know how to interpret that, there’s just… it’s cultish, in feeling to me. If that makes sense.
It does. But what am I supposed to say to that? I’m still wondering about the spirit of this little girl, the one who told us not to be so serious, and trying to figure out how we are supposed to not be serious in the face of all this madness.
Me: Okay. Um.
I look down at my book in thought.