We Know What We Want

Cunning and ambitious, that’s us. We have our eyes on the prize. No dilly-dallying, no waffling. We don’t play games (except for the ones that get us our way.) If we’ve chosen you, we’ve CHOSEN you, man. You’ll never worry that you’re not the apple of our eye.

…And We Get It

Oh, and by the way, if we decide we want you, we’re gonna get you. (I mean that far less rapey than it sounds, I promise.)

We’re Natural Charmers

One of the reasons we get what we want is because we’re so charming. We’ll flirt, we’ll tease, we’ll make you think that dating us was totally YOUR idea from the very beginning. Plus you’ll laugh a lot when you’re with us, which is a great bonus.

Our Confidence Is Through The Roof

Forget Hufflepuffs who need constant validation, Ravenclaws who try to be the smartest person in the room, Gryffindors who are always showing off just how ~brave~ they can be. We already know how awesome we are, we don’t have to prove it to you.

We’ll Make You Feel Like A Prince/Princess

If you’re with us, well, you’re something special. And we’re going to make sure you know it.

The Sex Is Kinkier

Combine our crazy confidence with our determination of what we want and that results in some seriously steamy romps in the bedroom. We’re not going to stop until we’re satisfied… and you are too. Mind if I… Slytherin?

We’ll Support You And Your Ambitions

Ambition is very important to us so we can’t wait to help you with yours. What do you need to achieve your goals? Money? Encouragement? Fresh-baked cookies? Whatever it is, you’ve got it.

…And Probably Push You To Go Even Farther

We know you’re capable of anything you set your mind to, so do you think we’re going to let you waste your worth by being lazy? No way José. We’re going to make sure you achieve your highest potential and live out your wildest dreams, and we’re going to stand by your side as you do it.

You’ll Never Be Bored

Life with us is a whirlwind of success and excitement, so strap in for the ride. There’s so much on the horizon and we’re going to do it all!

We Don’t Love Easily, But We Love Fiercely

Our hearts can be hard to know, but if we’ve given them to you, it’s real. We’re going to protect you, cherish you, celebrate you. If Snape’s love for Lily showed us anything, it’s just how far we will go when we’re in love. Always.