We all have them — those people who you know would kill for a date with you the minute you become single; the people who are trying so hard to sit on your back burner and wait for you, regardless of how happy you are in your relationship. The real sign of being truly happy and fulfilled in a relationship? Turning off your back burner and letting that ship sail far, far away. Now, separately, some of the items on this list could just be misunderstandings or you being self-absorbed, but if someone fits more than three of these criteria, I think it’s safe to say you need to send them packing. It’s the best thing for you, your partner, and relationship.
- They like everything you post on social media, except pictures or updates regarding your significant other.
- When they contact you, they never ask how your relationship or your partner is doing.
- They reminisce constantly about the few times you’ve hung out, how much fun it supposedly was, and how “great” you get along.
- When you mention your partner positively, they’re silent.
- You don’t mention your partner negatively, because you know you’ll heard “I told you so” or hear your loved one put down, even when though you’re not that upset and just wanted to vent.
- You know that you can’t invite this person to your wedding one day because they’d totally do the whole “I’d object!” thing.
- When they’re dating someone, you don’t hear from them.
- They’re constantly bugging you, asking you why you’re so distant or why they haven’t heard from you.
- The compliments they give you aren’t innocent and are accompanied by creepy stares.
- They’ve asked you for a casual coffee or lunch, just the two of you, more than once.
- Texts and messages come in at late hours of the night/wee hours of the morning.
- They prompt you to share personal details you clearly aren’t comfortable sharing.
- You can’t vent to them once, or they’ll expect you to do it all of the time and act like they understand you and your struggles so well from just that one instance.
- They’re condescending and tell you things like “I’m so proud of you” or “you know better” and other things parents say.
- They tell you that “it’s really sexy you’re running a food drive” or “your political views are really sexy.” Basically, if they use the word “sexy” to describe anything about you.
- They’re too generous. They want to give you gifts, bring you souvenirs from the trips they just went on, bring you coffee to your work, or cover a bill.
- They encourage you to be unhappy in your present situation, as if you’re not happy or successful enough as you are, but would be more so with them.
- When they’ve spoken to your partner, they’ve rubbed them the wrong way by either subtly/indirectly insulting your partner or relationship, or highlighting how much better they supposedly know you.
- They act like they know you better than you know yourself. This is the one that kills me, that makes me want to rip someone’s head off. It’s (again) condescending and manipulative.
