You’re sitting in the bath. The water is slowly going cold and your skin is ever so slightly comforted by the oiliness of the bath additive you’re told will help your skin; but does it ever? You think to yourself, can it get much worse? My eczema makes me so ugly. I wish my skin wouldn’t crack and bleed and itch and weep. It’s painful, relentless, and gets in the way of simple things like getting dressed, getting comfortable to go to sleep, and even getting in the way of your sleep. You begin to resent the life you’ve been given, and you see no way out.

You get out of the bath, gently pat your skin dry, wincing at the pain and sting you’re experiencing. You resist the urge to use your towel as a scratch tool (the kind that takes half your skin off with it) and your future self thanks you. You then go through the process of applying creams, ointments and whatever else your skin needs to try and hold itself together. The process is not only physically taxing, but your mind is overcome with fear, pain and thoughts that lead to self hatred and overwhelming doubt.

Relatable? This has been me countless times throughout my life. But those feelings that plagued my mind once, are no more.

You may think the phrase “changed my life” is a little dramatic, and I get that – but truthfully, it’s not at all dramatic in my experience. Since opening up about the challenges I have faced my entire life, thanks to a dysfunctioning skin barrier, my outlook and perspective has changed dramatically. 

There’s no taking away from the hurt and trauma I’ve experienced, and neither am I taking away from your experience. There are feelings to be felt, and not every day is perfect. A small blip of my skin can send me spiralling, but I have now built the tools to overcome this, step-by-step. I believe acceptance means you’re able to understand and deal with things more easily, and not simply ignore those negative feelings that come up.

But there’s a lot to be said about acceptance and building confidence from a life battling a chronic skin condition like eczema. Here’s what I have noticed:

Becoming more compassionate.

This is a pretty common occurrence in the chronic illness community. Compassion is a beautiful side effect of living with a life-long condition. When you experience suffering yourself, especially over a long period of time, you naturally feel more and are able to be there for others going through tough times.

Loving myself more.

Eczema is tough. But so am I. I love the bones of myself now; not in a narcissistic and self indulged way, but it’s more that I care so deeply for my emotional, physical and mental well-being that self love is just a natural part of my life now. I appreciate myself and my body more than ever before, and when I’m not experiencing flare ups, I don’t take any day for granted.

I used to hate my skin. It brought me unsurmountable pain and embarrassment. And no doubt if I was to flare up tomorrow, I would be met with the same feelings. That’s a natural response, but I now know that I would be able to overcome them a lot easier than ever before, thanks to love.

Meeting the most incredible human beings.

This is a shout-out to the online skin condition community – I owe a lot to the people I have connected with over the years. Without opening up about my eczema, I wouldn’t have done half the things I’ve done, tried the things I’ve tried or come across the people I have. There’s something to be said for shared experience and the power it has over self-esteem, acceptance and most of all, not feeling alone. 

I spent most of my life feeling like the only person who was experiencing severe eczema; I felt alienated at times when that shouldn’t have been the case at all. I was never alone. Discovering the Instagram community four years ago and becoming a part of it was the best thing I ever did in my journey, and it has helped me learn so much about myself and my condition.

My career excelled.

As a photographer, working in communications and now, a marketing fanatic; turning my pain into purpose has given me the leg up in my career that I never knew was possible. The knowledge I’ve gained from having my own little Instagram page has been incredible and even supported me in landing certain job roles.

Now, I’m not saying everyone should start an Instagram, share photos of their skin and use it as a portfolio, but for me, it’s been a blessing in disguise. What started out as a space to share my woes, ask for advice and give updates on my skin (scroll back and you’ll see how I began) has turned into a creative outlet that lands a spot on my CV.

Despite having an Instagram centered around eczema advocacy, eczema doesn’t rule my life anymore, and I’m here to say it doesn’t have to rule yours either (even if it’s still present on your skin). It’s simply one aspect of my life, flared up or not – and I’m okay with that. 

Now, I don’t want to downplay how difficult a journey of acceptance is; it’s so normal to resent your condition and feel like there’s no way out. But what’s the worst that can happen if you choose to embrace your skin? Life might feel a little lighter than it once was. We’re warriors, and we deserve to feel content and comfortable in our own skin after all.

How to accept your condition?

It’s easier said than done, I understand. But I promise there are ways to find peace with your skin condition.

Educate yourself on your skin condition. Knowledge is power and when you learn things about yourself that you didn’t know before, you’re sure to feel more empowered and in control. We’re all different and what works for some may not work for you, so being intune with yourself is so important.

Focus on what you can control. A lot of the time, it’s out of your control whether you flare or not so focusing on the “uncontrollables” will get you nowhere. Can you add a step into your self-care rituals? Do you need to say no to an event? Is there a way you can support yourself in this current moment?

Embrace your uniqueness. Embracing the fight you’re having to deal with is inspiring and when other people see your confidence, they’ll do the same.

Talk to others who understand. Shared experience (whilst being careful not to form trauma bonds) very much has a time and place when going through something like eczema. Being surrounded by people (or someone who understands) helps you feel heard and validates your feelings. 

Like I said at the start, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach and everyone’s journey is different. But ultimately when you’re ready, the journey is beautiful and eye-opening. One I hope everyone will experience at some point.