INFJs are rare. Seriously. This personality type makes up only one percent of the world’s population, which means we are habitually misunderstood. If you have an INFJ in your life, here are some things you should know.

1. We have no problem cutting people out of our lives. It’s called the INFJ “door slam.” In fact, we’re known for our puzzling metamorphosis from kind and caring to indifferent and detached. We can be warm, yet distant. This usually happens as a result of tolerating too much and/or allowing someone to push us too far emotionally. When we’ve decided we’ve had enough, we react accordingly and don’t look back.

2. When it comes to relationships, we’re all in or all out. If it’s a fling you’re looking for, don’t waste your time. We tend to steer clear of anything casual, as we are more interested in something long-term.

3. This doesn’t mean we are willing to settle. Truth be told, it takes someone pretty damn special for us to be inclined to drop anchor. INFJ’s know exactly what we want, and aren’t afraid to go after it. We want to be with someone who is both our lover and friend. Someone with whom we can create bonds that are multidimensional. Physically, emotionally, intellectually, mentally, and spiritually. To put it simply, we’re looking for a soulmate.

4. Our superpower: intuition. We have this sixth-sense-like ability that even we don’t fully understand, therefore we certainly can’t explain to others. We’ll get hit with this ambiguous gut feeling about a situation, but aren’t sure what it means nor why/how we know it. Regardless, we follow and trust that feeling, because it has never led us awry.

5. Our preferred method of communication is written, and we tend to live in our own heads. Imagine having 63 Google tabs open at once. That is what the brain of an INFJ looks like. We can be ridiculously scatterbrained at times, thus it is much easier to write it all down and proceed as we see fit.

6. Our hidden talent: we’re chameleons. Especially INFJ’s who also happen to be a Pisces. We are able to adapt to almost any situation or group of people, and mimic the behavior of others through quite convincing facades. There are few people who see our “real selves”.

7. Alone time is a requirement. We give ample time and energy to those we care about, generally taking care of others needs before our own. Consequently, we end up feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, needing a break to recharge and regroup. We have a fairly remarkable aptitude for absorbing everyone else’s emotions, both a gift and a curse.

8. We’re familiar with contradiction and can play the optimist/pessimist roles equally. We are highly emotional, but maintain our ability to be rational. We’re both fascinated and exhausted by others. We love the idea of spontaneity, but also like for things to be planned out. We’re organized, but our creative tendencies often generate disorder.

9. We focus on the big picture, studying things on a fundamental level and connecting the dots to figure out what may happen subsequently. We have endless questions, which also means we’re full of insight. We won’t engage in harping on the past unless it is going to help illustrate something related to our future, or the bigger picture.

10. Because of our minority personality type, we’re vulnerable to loneliness. Thus, we’ve become accustomed to being highly independent individuals following our own paths. We have strong ideas and beliefs, and we remain motivated in moving toward our vision.

11. Conflict is a major stressor. We relentlessly pursue harmony in our relationships, and will do everything in our power to establish and maintain a good rapport with those around us. Unfortunately, this often leads us into one-sided relationships where we continually give support that is not reciprocated.

12. We require lots of patience. It takes time to peel back our many layers, but we’re worth it. Give us our alone time, don’t play games, and open up to us and we will do the same in return. INFJs are highly multifaceted individuals that can be both unpredictable and challenging. When we are committed, we take it seriously and we’re faithful. INFJs are incredibly thoughtful and pay attention to the little things. We’re great listeners, unbelievably supportive, and will do everything in our power to help you continually grow. If an INFJ is pursuing you, we can see you as a long-term partner and will make sure that you are taken care of on every level.