Kids Say The CREEPIEST Things: 30 Actual Quotes From Small Children
“It's not a baby in there, it's a monster and when you go to sleep he climbs out and talks to me about blood.”
1. “It’s not a baby in there, it’s a monster and when you go to sleep he climbs out and talks to me about blood.”
“My seven-year-old niece said to her then-pregnant mother, ‘it’s not a baby in there, it’s a monster and when you go to sleep he climbs out and talks to me about blood.’”
2. “I’m going to make you dead. Then I’m going to make you into a cake.”
“‘I’m going to make you dead. Then I’m going to make you into a cake.’
This from my sister, who was around 5 at the time, after I refused to give her back the pacifier that she’d found.”
3. “Santa touches me.”
“My friend was working in a nursery around Christmas time and one of the children said to her ‘Santa touches me…’.She was so creeped-out she gave in her notice and alerted the teachers.”
4. “I wonder what he’d smell like if I burned him up.”
“I used to teach swimming lessons for preschoolers, and we had this one kid name Cass who was the cutest little guy ever, also one of the only one brave enough to let us take him out in the deep end with a life jacket on. Well one day I was swimming slowly with him holding on to my shoulders and I could hear him talking to himself, ‘I wonder what he’d smell like if I burned him up.’
I think the little guy was talking about me.”
5. “When mommy kisses me goodnight she puts her tongue in my mouth.”
“‘When mommy kisses me goodnight she puts her tongue in my mouth.’” My friend babysat a little girl and told me she said this.”
6. “If you make her cry we’ll take you out into the woods and leave you there.”
“When I started dating my wife, her 4-year-old niece looked me dead in the eye and said, ‘If you make her cry we’ll take you out into the woods and leave you there.’”
7. “I live in your nightmares.”
“Little girl by herself at the pool and starts diving and swimming near our group. She looks over at us and says, ‘I live in your nightmares, then dove into the pool and we didn’t see her again.”
8. “Is your dad dead?”
“I was working at a kids’ summer camp and had to go with this ~6-year-old boy to the bathroom. While he was washing his hands, he looked at my while smiling and said ‘Is your dad dead?’ I looked at him and said ‘No. He’s not.’ Then the kid said ‘Well, why isn’t he?’ Wasn’t sure how to respond to that.”
9. “If you don’t come play with me I’ll choke myself.”
“4-5 yr old came up to me and was pointing towards the arcade room, ‘come play with me.’ I said, ‘I’m busy, I’m sorry…. go ask (insert girl name)’ the little girl was like ‘if you don’t come play with me I’ll choke myself.’ ….. Then just stared at me. Then eventually left.”
10. “You’re going to die in a school.”
“I was doing a placement in a primary school, working with 7-8-year-olds. A girl named Emily (lovely little demon-spawn. ginger hair, black eyes) looks up at me from her math work and:
DS: ‘I bet you’re tired of this boring old school.’
Me: ‘out of my fucking mind as you get older you realize school isn’t so bad, It is actually kind of fun.’
DS: ’Oh.”
A few seconds pass.
DS: ‘You’re going to die in a school.’
A little giggle passes through the other kids at the table. I’m left quietly trying to process the conversation logically.”
11. “I’m a bad doggie. Please spank me, master.”
“I was playing D&D at a coworker’s house. His quiet 9-year-old daughter tugged on my sleeve so I assumed she wanted me to get her some food. Instead she led me to their Great Dane kennel and said in a loud, suggestive voice ‘I’m a bad doggie. Please spank me, master.’”
12. “You can’t talk. I died you.”
“My niece and I were playing with my son at my mom’s house. We were having a nice Power Rangers battle with the old school weapons my mom kept for me to give my children. My niece had the little red sword and started poking me with it. I told her to stop and that it wasn’t nice. She told me, ‘You can’t talk. I died you.’”
13. “I know where you sleep. I love youuuuuuuuu.”
“A friend got his 2-year-old a lettuce knife so she’d stop asking to use real knives. One night she looked around the corner with the knife in hand, asked to take it to bed and when they said she half-sang, ‘I know where you sleep. I love youuuuuuuuu.’”
14. “Them. They’re watching. They’ll be here soon.”
“Created an account for this. I was hanging out with an ex-GF in my parents’ living room a few years back when my little brother (approx. 10y/o at the time) walks into the room looking a little bit dazed and confused (He was sleepwalking a lot around this time.). He goes straight to the large front window and just stands and stares. I asked him ‘[Little bro’s name] buddy, are you okay, what’re you looking at?’ and his reply was ‘Them. They’re watching. They’ll be here soon.’”
15. “For a minute there I thought you were a cyclops.”
“A kid leaned over to me in church once and whispered, ‘For a minute there I thought you were a cyclops.”
16. “He says I am his.”
“My high-school girlfriend has a little brother who was like 3-4 at the time. One day we were babysitting him and playing with cars on the floor. Out of nowhere, he starts looking really concerned and looking around. We keep playing, but he stands up, and walks straight into the garage.
We followed him in there and he just kept looking toward the wall and started crying. My girlfriend kept asking him what was wrong, and he through all of his weeping he gets out, ‘He says I am his.’
Still freaks me out just thinking about it.”
17. “You think I’m sexy?”
“‘You think I’m sexy?’
a 2nd grader asking me as I was fixing a computer, wtf is with these kids today? I had to just ignore because these damn kids could lie and would have probably told their teachers and parents if I said anything and I would have been in deep shit because it’s a kid’s word against mine.”
18. “He’s coming.”
“When I was babysitting for my neighbors, a kid walked up to me and said ‘he’s coming.’ When I asked who he just pointed at the door of the living room.”
19. “He says he can come down from the clouds whenever he wants, he just has to sneak out.”
“My wife’s niece had an imaginary friend when she was 2-3 years old. Not unusual on the surface, but her imaginary friend had the same name as her grandfather who had died 15 years prior, and she seemed to know stories from her dad and aunt’s (my wife’s) life when they were kids. The biggest thing was her friend had died after being shot, which was how her grandfather died.
So I was talking to this little girl about her friend and she said: ‘Yeah, [name] says he can come down from the clouds whenever he wants, he just has to sneak out.’”
20. “I know your sisters and I will defeat them without any fear.”
“I work in the ER. Once a little girl came in. Her mom found her in her room, dragging/scraping a pencil up and down her shin bone. When her mother asked what she was doing, she said ‘I’m just doing my math homework.’
She would not look at her siblings and kept saying she didn’t have any.
She kept eerily staring at her parents, repeating ‘You’re not supposed to be here’ in an all-knowing, matter-of-fact voice.
They brought her to the ER, and they brought along a few sticky notes and drawing that she’d done that night. They looked exactly like something from a horror movie.
One had ‘DEATH’ written in large letters in the middle of the sticky note, and smaller crowded-together repeating ‘deaths’ covering the rest of the note.
One said ‘I know your sisters and I will defeat them without any fear.’
One said ‘Prepare for battle on the trampoline. It begins at sunset.’
It was disturbing.”
21. “I should have burned down his house with him inside it.”
“My son, at the age of 5, talking about Minecraft:
‘I killed the creeper and then burned down his house. Oh, I should have burned down his house with him inside it, doing both things at once!’
Um, yeah, uh, I don’t even know where you’ve been playing Minecraft, but you need to take a break from it for a while. Figuring out how to best kill someone and destroy their property is not a skill you need quite yet.”
22. “Boy killed girl in the neck with a knife and put her in a closet. Boy left after.”
“This happened about 3 years ago… I went on a vacation with my parents to go see some family in Calgary, Alberta. They were pretty young parents and had two kids, one 6 and the other 3. Both were born with pretty bad speech impediments and the six-year-old barely talked, while the three-year-old couldn’t. Since they were at a good age for it, we decided to take the kids to Drumheller,(basically the whole town was dedicated to dinosaurs). One of the last stops of the day was to an old mine that had some houses that miners supposedly lived in. My parents and the three-year-old kid went into one building while I took the six-year-old with me. About halfway through the house he pointed at a closet and said, ‘Boy killed girl here.’ He was pretty young so I asked him what he meant, it was a big mistake. He elaborated, ‘Boy killed girl in the neck with a knife and put her in a closet. Boy left after.’ Needless to say I shit my pants and got the hell out of dodge. After we stopped in the gift shop however, I asked the cashier if there has ever been a haunting here and she told me that exact story. Sorry for any errors I’m on mobile and it was a while ago!”
23. “How many times do you give the poisonous foods to the people before they go die?.”
“Okay, so I used to volunteer at a really old nursing home for really old people. It was all-Japanese, so most of them had witnessed WWII, the oldest lady there was 105 at the time.
So I’m helping the other volunteers bring out food in the dining room, and another helper was this woman and her little daughter, maybe 8 or 9. The kid came up to me with a plate of food above her head, ’cause she was short and was trying to give it to me, who was taller. And she hands me this plate of rice and starts to turn around, but pauses to look at me, and asks,
‘How many times do you give the poisonous foods to the people before they go die?’
… I don’t think she understood that the elderly people there died from their old age…and she probably thought they died because we gave them poisonous food.”
24. “Why are you saying goodbye, are you going to die?”
“I work at a preschool. Over the years I have heard the kids say some creepy/funny things. One little boy who was five always had strange things to say. One afternoon I was leaving to go home and on my way out I said goodbye to him and he stared at me then responded with ‘why are you saying goodbye, are you going to die?’ This is also the same little boy who would try and grab teachers’ asses.”
25. “Come on! We need to have the funerals!”
“This happened to me at work last week. So my coworker and I were looking at some kids when they walked away and one yelled ‘Come on! We need to have the funerals!’ There was one girl left behind and when we looked at her and said what she said: ‘I don’t know, something about having funerals for their babies that died in their stomachs. They’re weird.’ My coworker and I stared at each other and they said ‘Well… That’s disturbing.’ The girls were around 8 years old maybe.”
26. “I’m going to break your fucking head in with this shovel.”
“A friend of a friend brought their 3-year-old grandson to our house. The kid picked up a small metal shovel and said to another 3-year-old little girl that was there with her dad ‘I’m going to break your fucking head in with this shovel.’ As soon as he realized we had heard and seen what was going on he put the shovel down to pretend that nothing happened.
We alerted both adult parties but unfortunately there don’t seem to be any real consequences for this kid.”
27. “Momma, don’t go, that girl is gonna die soon.”
“I was on the bus and this little girl and her mom get on. She takes one look at me and bursts into inconsolable tears. Her mom is doing everything she can to make her stop, but all to no avail. Eventually the mom just says fuck it and takes the kid off the bus, but the kid starts wailing more, and says, ‘momma, don’t go, that girl is gonna die soon.’ I was a little sketched-out for the rest of the day.”
28. “We have nightmares about people getting cut up.”
“There was a set of demon twins when I worked in after school daycare. They looked tired one day, and when someone asked what was going on, they said, ‘We have nightmares about people getting cut up.’ I’m sure they just were allowed to watch something they shouldn’t have while at their dad’s house, but still. Creeeeeepy.”
29. “The lady with the long hair you can’t see told me.”
“On a shopping trip to Lowe’s, my son told me that we couldn’t leave out of a certain set of doors because they were broken. There was a sign on the door, but he’s not able to read yet, so I asked him how he knew the doors wouldn’t work. He said: ‘The lady with the long hair you can’t see told me.’”
30. “DIE ON THE CROSS LIKE A WHITE PERSON!’”
“My brother was once wrestling his friend for fun (they were 13ish years old). His friend grabs him around the neck and yells ‘DIE ON THE CROSS LIKE A WHITE PERSON!’”
