1. I’m white and my wife is half-black. I fantasize that she’s my slave when we have sex.
“I’m white and my wife is half-black. I fantasize that she’s my slave when we have sex. She thinks I’m the least racist person she’s ever known.”
2. My family thinks I’m dead.
“I cut off all contact with everyone I know and moved to Kenya, I tell people a fake name and a fake background and have made it appear to my family that I died on boat trip in the Pacific. No I am not joking. I am dead in the United States.”
3. I purposely killed my mother with a drug overdose.
“My mother has multiple sclerosis and her health has deteriorated fast since I have been born. She was gone from being able to walk, to needing a cane, to needing a walker, to complete wheelchair usage, and now completely bedridden. She has a urinary tract infection that is untreatable and is constantly in physical and emotional pain. She takes prescribed medication for depression and bipolar disorder, as well as sleeping pills. Throughout my childhood she has tried to kill herself three times because she wants the pain to stop.
In the middle of the night, I bought something from a dealer and snuck into my house to give it to my mother.
She passed away within 2 hours.
My dad, sisters and brother have no clue.”
4. When I was 17 I had an argument with my father and told him to fuck off; later that evening he hung himself.
“When I was 17 I had an argument with my father and told him to fuck off; later that evening he hung himself. Our argument was the last time he spoke to anyone in our family and for that I feel a terrible amount of guilt for. Instead of him saying good bye and I love you to my mom and brothers he got told to fuck off before he went and killed himself. My punishment is to live the rest of my days in shame and guilt. He never left a note, either.”
5. Everyone thinks I have a good job and roommates, but I’ve been homeless and a prostitute for over year.
“Everyone thinks I have a good job and roommates, but I’ve been homeless and a prostitute for over year.”
6. I impregnated my sister and she aborted the baby.
“When I was 15 my parents were going through a divorce, my mom worked night shifts and my dad was living with a friend of his. One night my sister who was 19 at the time came home pretty drunk from a party. She was acting goofy and fell on the couch next to me. She started grabbing my leg and laughing and we started fondling. We ended up having sex right there. When we woke up the next day she had no recollection of the night before so I just kept my mouth shut.
Fast forward to when I’m 18. Sister is home from college and dad is over for a visit. they get into an argument and in a fit of rage my dad announces how he has never forgiven her for the abortion she got when she was 19 and subsequently killing His grandchild. (he’s very religious)
I then realize the baby she aborted was in fact mine…and as far as I know, I am the only one who knows since she has never mentioned that night.”
7. I accidentally killed seven people, and no one knows.
“I accidentally killed seven people.
I put a rag into a new water heater exhaust to keep debris out and installed it in a rental.
I get a call a week later, there’s been an accident. I show up and there’s a ton of ems and police. They ask me where the gas shutoff is, and I go down to shut the gas off and see the end of the rag I forgot sticking out of the top of the heater.
Ripped the rag out, shut the gas off and head upstairs only to be told all the tenants were DEAD.
I drink all day now and sleep. It’s killing me from the inside every single day, but if I say anything my family is ruined; we have a bunch of rental properties and we’d be shut down.”
8. I attempted a school shooting.
“I came very, very close to committing a school shooting.
I was picked on A LOT in high school. I think it was because I tried so hard to be cool and everyone saw right through it. There were these 4 cowboy jock types that gave it to me the worst. After being publicly humiliated and beaten in front of a girl I liked (as she laughed/cheered), I decided that none of it was worth it anymore. I had no support at home being an only child and having parents that worked constantly, and cutting and burning myself didn’t make me feel better anymore. So I got my dad’s handgun out of the gun-safe (he uses the same combo for everything, the idiot) and brought it to school with me the next day.
I can’t adequately describe to you guys how ready I was to kill these four. I had absolutely no fear or doubt in my mind. I wanted nothing more than to show everyone what happens when you push someone over the edge like they did. I had the gun tucked in my waistline. I was wearing this baggy pair of cargo shorts that I wore a couple times a week that day. I remember walking towards the cowboy’s table, so goddamn ready for it to be over, when the gun fell out of my waistline, down my left short leg and made the loudest fucking sound as it hit the cafeteria floor. I tried my best to grab the gun really quick, but people saw what it was and screamed, and one of the instructors tackled me to the ground.
They eventually concluded that I had brought the gun to school to impress people with badassery, and had no intention of using it. I was expelled and sent to live at a youth ranch in Idaho until I was 18. I did have the intention of using it though. I was going to kill all of them. I’m 24 now, and I still think about it all the time. I have not recovered from high school. I’m still terrified of people in general, and avoid having relationships because of what I fear I’m capable of.
I’m not looking for pity. I know that what I did was wrong, it just feels good to tell the story….
TL;DR: I attempted a school shooting.”
9. I masturbated into a sock, then it caught on fire and burned my house down.
“I used to masturbate a lot. And when I was 10 I had a technique where I’d let off a load into a sock then wash it and quickly dry it, now I couldn’t leave it hanging outside or use a dryer otherwise my family would’ve seen it and probably smell it or whatnot. So I’d put it inside my gas heater unit. Unfortunately my sock had caught on fire inside the unit, blew it up and set my house on fire. Only my brother was home at the time, and he managed to survive the house did not. For 5 years, we stayed from caravan park to caravan park whilst we waited for confirmation that it was not arson and we could receive an insurance payout. We eventually did and scraped together money to start rebuilding the house. The house is still being rebuilt to this day and it shames me anytime I have to visit my parents living in a tiny mobile home where my backyard once was.”
10. I killed a man with a marble in a Family Dollar.
“When I was about 12 I went with some family to the Family Dollar. My mother and cousins went off to go look at generic groceries so I decided I would just spend my time hanging out in the toy aisle, in the toy aisle there would always be these bags of marbles that other kids would open and leave laying there so I decided to fling marbles across the floor and one just happened to reach one of the far-off aisles. So about two minutes later I hear a loud crash and someone scream ‘Somebody help this man!’ Being the curious child I was, I ran over to see what the commotion was about and I find everyone gathered around this guy who had seem to have fallen from the ladder as he was getting something off the top shelf. The guy is seizing out and blood is coming from his head as he laid there and his face seemed to be turning blue. My mother whisked me and my cousins away and we left. Next time we went we talked to the front cashier and she said that they called the paramedics but by the time they got there he had died from choking. Apparently when he had the seizure he was choking on his own tongue. The cause for the fall according to the front cashier was that he had put the ladder on a marble and didn’t check it before he got on it. When I heard what the cashier said I just stood in disbelief thinking I was going to jail, I tried telling my mother many times but all she did was say that I imagined it.
TL;DR Killed a man with a marble in a Family Dollar.”
11. The maid’s daughter killed herself after I made her have sex with a dog.
“When I was around 10 or 11 years old, one of the maid’s daughters, who was probably 13 or 14 at the time had a pretty weird relationship with me. We both mutually liked each other but the relationship just couldn’t happen because my mother strictly forbid me to associate myself with any of the attendants or their family. We did some mild petting I guess. She touched my penis and I played with her vagina. I don’t recall any sort of intercourse. Don’t even think I was even old enough for that.
We had a bunch of dogs in the back area, mainly German shepherd mutts. I personally love dogs and all sorts of animals so I frequently spent my time in the back lot with the dogs. I watched the dogs mount each other and was interested in what they were doing. I even once saw one of the dogs lick its own penis and it would grow and I guess the dog cums out after a certain amount of licking. Yeah, it was kinda gross but I was interested. I went over to feed the dog and that she was in the back lot helping her mom hang some clothes. I told her about my pretty fucked up idea. I wanted her to get mounted by one of the bigger dogs and she agreed to it. We waited a couple of days when absolutely no one was home except for maybe a couple of other of the attendant’s kids for her to do it. She stripped down and walked over to one of the bigger dogs and kneeled down on all fours in front of the dog. The dog started sniffing her backside for a few seconds and she got up and ran. The dog then chased after her and jumped on her back. She didn’t fully fall face first as she went down on all four again (hands & knees). The dog then went on to having sex with her.
A few weeks later she committed suicide. I don’t know if it was because of my idea or if there were any other causes to leading to her suicide. To this day, I still think that my juvenile mind could have caused the death of another person.”
12. I’ve masturbated to my mom numerous times.
“I’ve masturbated to my mom numerous times and feel absolutely disgusted by it. I was surfing the internet and found a porno. Come to find out the woman looked a lot like my mom and I masturbated anyway. I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve masturbated to that video imagining it is my mom. I don’t even want to talk to anybody about it because I think it’s one of the most disgusting things you can do.
It’s been probably around a month since the last time I did but I need help….
I wouldn’t have sex with my mother but I’m just in this trap that I can’t seem to completely break.”
13. I scared an old lady to death.
“Back in college I used to work a shitty part-time job delivering newspapers in a bad neighborhood, where I had to run up the stairs of each apartment building because most of those stupid housing projects didn’t have an elevator, and I couldn’t just walk up the stairs because I had to get the newspaper to everyone by 6am or I’d get fines to my paycheck if anyone complained about getting their newspaper late. And people loved complaining.
Anyway, one subscriber lived on the top floor of a building with a slow ass elevator, which very quickly came to be my favorite subscriber because it was the only time that allowed me to rest during the long ride up and down. Every day I would get to that building a little after 5am, and this black old lady would be outside feeding the cats, I mean every single day.
One day after working that shitty job for 4 months doing the same routine every day, I decided to do my routine backwards—starting with the last building on the list and delivering newspapers the other way around. Just to mix things because I needed this job to pay the bills but it was unbearably mundane. So eventually I get to my favorite building, the one with the slow ass elevator. Doing the routine backwards meant I got there a little bit earlier. So this was the first time where I didn’t see that old lady feeding the cats, just a bunch of cats standing next to the building’s glass door waiting for her to come out.
It might seem like nothing to you, but after 4 months where every day was basically Groundhog Day, I was ecstatic to see something different, everything felt fresh again, like I wasn’t on auto pilot delivering newspapers, I was alive. Feeling pretty damn good I walked in and called the elevator, about to begin my lovely rest period. But. something was different. The elevator button was already lit up. I stood there for a second or two before realizing it must be occupied, someone must be coming down. So I wait and wait as this elevator is slow as fuck and I start thinking about who could be coming down.
Feeling practically high on life about how everything was interesting again, and being a stupid college student, I came up with this brilliant idea—I’ll hide next to the elevator and scare whoever comes out! This’ll be fun! (Did I mention this was a really bad part of town? Bad idea.) Crouching next to the elevator I hear its sounds getting louder. It should be here any second now. At this point my neurons were firing like crazy, I started to realize that this might not be such a good plan after all, what if I scare the wrong type of person? I very quickly convinced myself that should that happen I’ll just give him a free newspaper and apologize saying I thought he was someone else. Finally, after what seemed like eternity I heard a loud mechanical thump. The elevator has arrived. As soon as the elevator’s door cracked open and the first glimpse of light hit the entrance lobby I leaped up from my crouching stance and shouted ‘BOO!’ as loud as I could.
What happened then is a little hazy but I remember getting milk sprayed all over me one second, and looking at an old lady lying still on the elevator’s floor the next. I freaked out and started looking around for help when suddenly I noticed the cats waiting outside the glass door, staring at me. Then it hit me—it’s obviously that same old lady coming down to feed the cats. I checked my watch and it said 04:57. Right around the time I usually get here each day. Not knowing what to do I calmed myself down, and with tears in my eyes I started walking towards the front door, I don’t want anything to do with this. This is a dream. This can’t be happening. But right as I was about to open the door and leave I realized that if I go without delivering my newspaper, someone might put two and two together and I might come up as a suspect. So I did the only thing I could. I tucked the old lady’s legs back into the elevator and got in with her, riding to the 7th floor. The sheer panic of someone calling the elevator combined with the disgusting smell of milk, cat food and old people smell nearly made me faint. Needless to say, this was the longest elevator ride of my life.
Doing the walk of shame out of that building while seventeen cats look at you and know what you’ve done was the hardest part. I never saw the police or anyone else ask about her. I guess everyone thought she had a heart attack.
tldr; I scared an old lady to death and have to live with it.”