25 Dumb Things Guys Do When They Want To Look ‘Manly’

Found on AskReddit.

1. Avoiding anything ‘girly.’

“Avoiding ‘girly’ food and drinks. If eating a crepe threatens your manliness, your masculinity is too fragile!”


2. Having to one-up their bros all the time.

“‘Bro, you call those burgers? When I was snowboarding down the volcanos of Hawaii with Chuck Norris, we cooked burger four times that size.’”


3. Starting fights for no reason at all.

“Starting random fights, or being overly macho as if to start a fight. It doesn’t make you a man to prove you can beat anyone up, it makes you a childish douchebag who thinks he can solve all of his problems with his fists.”


4. Revving their engines.

“My friend once said ‘if girls are turned on by guys revving their engines, there’d be lots of girls being fucked along highways,’ which is true in some sense.”


5. Driving dangerously fast.

“Driving dangerously fast. Sorry dude; near-death experiences don’t really turn me on.”


6. Boasting about how much they can drink.

“Boasting about how much alcohol they can drink and how often. When they are clearly injured, pretending that they’re not hurt at all and refusing medical attention.”


7. Catcalling.

“Whistling or honking at us. It’s not attractive or complimentary. It’s creepy.”


8. Driving humungous trucks.

“Driving way oversized, humongous trucks…I like trucks, practical trucks, even when they are bigger, like a really nice f250 with a small lift, but the HEY LOOK AT ME TRUCKS AND I HAVE A TRAIN HORN my immediate reaction is—‘overcompensating and insecure!’”


9. Refusing to ask for help.

“Refusing to ask for help even when it’s clear they need help.”


10. Giving people the ‘death grip handshake.’

“My ex would ‘death grip handshake’ people. He would admit that he was insecure about his height. 1. Who cares if you’re short, for Christ’s sake? 2. Way to prove you’re insecure, (and a dick) Buddy.”


11. Not crying.

“Not crying because you’re male. You’re a person, not a rock.”


12. Suppressing their emotions.

“I despise it when guys are like ‘Emotions are for women; men have only logic.’ Like, fuck that noise with a cactus.”


13. Road rage.

“Getting overly angry on the road.”


14. Manwhoring.

“Trying to sleep with as many girls as possible. That’s not manly, that’s how you get an STD.”


15. Putting dumb ‘sexy’ bumper stickers on their trucks.

“My wife says: ‘bumper sticker on your truck that says PANTY DROPPER.’ (She apparently saw this the other day.)”


16. Insulting their girlfriend in front of other guys.

“My most recent boyfriend would be loving behind closed doors, but in front of his friends would tease me and would joke around in a hurtful way (but he’s just kidding HAHA…) because he’s a MAN and bitches ain’t shit or whatever he was trying to demonstrate to his boys. I brought it up multiple times but he continued to act disrespectfully toward me and I eventually broke up with him. Like, wouldn’t you treat your girl like she was somebody you were PROUD to be with? Even his friends seemed embarrassed for me, and don’t get me wrong I can take a joke, but at some point it’s not joking anymore.”


17. Walking in front of their girlfriend.

“I have an ex that would make me walk a few paces behind him because ‘he was the man, and was leading me.’ Also if I would speak up about something in public he would shoot me dagger eyes to quiet me. Fuck that guy.”


18. Bragging about wealth.

“Bragging about wealth. It’s very lame when you hear a dude bragging about being ‘upper middle class.’ Especially when they’re just the typical broke college student pretending for attention.”


19. Arguing over something they don’t know about.

“When they argue over something they don’t know about… I don’t understand how can they sound so confident even if they have no clue, and it makes them look dumb AND stubborn.”


20. Thinking it’s cool to be emotionally distant.

“Not doing the emotional labor in a relationship. Any relationship—romantic, family, friends. It’s not cool to be emotionally distant and not show people that you care about them. So many men think it’s a woman’s job to remember birthdays, give support when someone needs to vent, etc. Like, no, you want to have someone in your life? You care about them? Treat them like it. It won’t make you less of a man to pat someone on the back when they’re feeling down.”


21. Trying to be ‘alpha.’

“Witnessed a dude trying to be alpha get put down and it was cringeworthy. It was at a Super Bowl party and everyone put their beer in the cooler or fridge, this guy who is a friend of a friend is a douchecanoe and if he doesn’t know you he will try to intimidate you and the only thing he has going for his ‘intimidating persona’ is the fact he is tall. Well he opened the fridge and saw some flavored beer in there and yelled out while holding up the flavored beer ‘Whose pussy ass beer is this?’

At that moment I cringed because that ‘pussy ass beer’ belonged to my friends brother in law who is a Navy Seal….

Well the brother in law looks at the douchecanoe and very calmly says, ‘That’s mine, is that a problem?’

Douchecanoe knows that the BIL is a gunslinging, soul harvesting-pipe hitter and immediately looks flustered and embarrassed while stating ‘no it was just in the way of the case…’ or some other lame excuse.

The brother in law is very down to earth and didn’t take it offensively at all because he knows he doesn’t need to prove himself.

TL;DR Navy Seal administers a dose of reality to a douchecanoe.”


22. Taking pride in being dumb.

“Dated a guy who bragged about never reading. He thought it (*reading) was ‘nerdy.’ No you’re just being immature. Same guy also did crazy stupid stunts, which could seriously endanger his life (like climb to the forth floor balcony on the outside of the apartment-complex, just because).”


23. Competing with other guys.

“Being really competitive with/demeaning to other guys, even their male friends. I’ve just noticed some guys constantly need to be the ‘top dog’ in a group of guys, and do it by making mean jokes or getting way to competitive. It’s one things to have friend who all tease each other. It’s totally different– and patently obvious– when the intention isn’t friendly camaraderie or fun, but actually to just be the best and feel better about yourself by putting others down.”


24. Criticizing women’s looks.

“Announcing that they think particular women are unattractive when it’s totally irrelevant. Yes, I already know most women you date are more conventionally attractive than that woman across the street. No one cares that you wouldn’t fuck some lady we don’t know who hasn’t displayed any interest in you anyway.”


25. Being dirty and smelly and moldy.

“Not practicing basic hygiene. Sorry, most women are not into pubic hair looking beards, smelly BO, wrinkled moldy-smelling clothes, or long fungus infected toe nails. It isn’t manly, it is fucking nasty.”

maotzu  Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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