34 Girls Share The Dumbest Thing A Guy Ever Did On A First Date

Sweet Ice Cream Photography
Found on AskReddit.

1. He told me I was gorgeous—and that I looked exactly like his sister.

“He told me how gorgeous I was, then started going on and on about how I looked exactly like his sister. He even whipped his phone out to show me pictures of her.”

HoneyHopScotch


2. He asked to borrow two dollars.

“Asked to borrow two dollars. Yes, two dollars.”

Shirleydandritch


3. He said, ‘I love you.’

“Said ‘I love you.’ Dude…you barely know me.”

SnarkyLostLoser


4. He brought his grandma on the date with us.

“He brought his grandma on the date with us. Yes he knew it was a date. No, this wasn’t in middle school or before either of us had a license. He literally just invited his grandma along.”

srlx32


5. He would tell me I was so beautiful every two minutes.

“Stared at me during a movie and afterward would tell me I was so beautiful every two minutes. It was beyond weird, never dated him again.”

Tarahdikov


5. He referred to his ex-wife as a ‘cum dumpster.’

“A guy referred to his ex-wife, on a date, at a restaurant, as a ‘cum dumpster.’ You want to talk about losing your appetite. No thanks, buddy.”

loridee


6. He said he wished I had my sister’s looks.

“Told me that while he hoped we had a good time, he wished I had my sister’s looks and she had my personality.”

theanti_girl


7. He called his mom to ask not only what he should order, but how it should be cooked.

“Called his mom to ask not only what he should order, but how it should be cooked. Also separate calls to ask how he should answer questions i asked him… Also I have good hearing, I could hear what she told him. the amount of babying was honestly gross. He was 24. I was 21. One date and done.”

Amniyl


8. He said he would spare me from the coming genocide of women so he could use me as a sex slave.

“Told me that women are the root of all wars in the world, and when men found a way to reproduce without needing women there would be a genocide, except for the more attractive ones who would be used for sex. Apparently I’d be saved, which was nice.”

smidgit


9. He broke down crying about his ex.

“Not only talked about his ex, but broke down crying about her, saying she was the one. He then went into the bathroom and stole a sign off the restaurant wall and we had to make a quick exit as they threatened to call the cops.”

jadeoracle


10. He spent forty minutes talking about his dick.

“‘I’ve got a high testosterone level. And I jack off like a lot. I don’t wanna get laid with a random bitch, I’m waiting for the One…’ 40 min later: ‘Did we just spend 40 minutes talking about my dick? Oh. Well, you still gotta be aware of all that, cause it’s you who’ll be jerking my dick off.’ The curtain falls.’”

anyahatzi


11. He told me he’s only missing his ‘yellow belt.’ I’m Asian.

“Told me he’s only missing his ‘yellow belt.’ I’m Asian. He does no martial arts.”

mykneesitch


12. He told me he had bought surveillance equipment to keep track of his last girlfriend.

“He told me he had bought surveillance equipment to keep track of his last girlfriend. Yeah…first and only date.”

RunAMuckGirl


13. He asked to take a picture of me so that he could send it to his ex-wife to show her how much better he is doing now.

“Asked to take a picture of me so that he could send it to his ex-wife to show her how much better he is doing now.”

not_a_white_girl


14. He nicknamed my breasts ‘sweater puppies’ and kept asking to see them.

“He nicknamed my breasts ‘sweater puppies’ maybe because I was wearing a sweater?! Then he proceeded to ask to see my ‘sweater puppies’ countless times throughout the night.”

CapeCodBlonde


15. He asked me if I was into having sex with animals.

“I had a guy ask me if I was into having sex with animals on the first date. I almost threw up in the restaurant. I was so shocked and disgusted I excused myself to use the bathroom and left him there. Never heard from him again.”

SomnolentSheep


16. Complained nonstop about his sister, then said they lived together and asked if I wanted to go meet her.

“Went on and on about how awful his sister was. Then he told me they live together and asked if I wanted to go meet her.”

rooneygirl420


17. Went to the bathroom and sent me a text, asking if he could kiss me.

“Went to the bathroom and sent me a text, asking if he could kiss me.”

jlay08


18. He told me he’d gotten into a fistfight every day for the past month and that he had a knife fight with a hobo the day before.

“He told me he’d gotten into a fistfight every day for the past month and that he had a knife fight with a hobo the day before. Otherwise he was very interesting and well spoken, but suffice it to say we did not have a second date.”

rratbaby


19. He led me on a high-speed chase from police because he was wanted on charges of sexually abusing a minor.

“Genuinely ashamed to admit this…

I was on a date with this guy, I knew he was not someone my mother would approve of, but I was going through a belated teenage rebellion. Anyway, he told me he is going to take me out on a date, told me what to wear, which stupidly, I readily agreed to. We get to this very average looking restaurant, have a very average meal, we come to pay (backstory—on dates I never let my date pay for me), and I get my purse out to pay my half. He makes no move to get any money out, so after an awkward couple of minutes I eventually ask what’s up. He says ‘well as I drove us here, you can pay for the food.’

Already I know this guy is not getting a second date, but I’ve spent all my cash on dinner so need him to drive me home, I got back in the car with him and we were about 7 miles from my house when the police come up behind us and start flashing us to pull over, he started to try and pull away and go on a chase which was incredibly short lived, all the while I am screaming for him to stop and praying to every God there is. Turns out he was arrested that night for sexual assault of a girl under the age of 14, robbery, and ABH.

He contacted me about 8 months after, I presume he had been released from prison, asking me for another date…”

Florenceismyhomie


20. He complained that every ex was a crazy bitch.

“Complained that every ex was a crazy bitch.”

Jaqueline_Naught


21. He got jealous of a baby.

“He got jealous of a baby. There was a young couple with there probably 8 or 9 month old in a booster seat sitting at a table across from us. During a lull in conversation the kid caught my eye and beamed at me, and then said ‘HI!’ really loudly. I said Hi back, and she smiled even wider. He let out this annoyed noise and said something like ‘Hello? You’re on a date with me, not with the brat.’ y i k e s.”

notasugarbabybutok


22. He said, ‘Is it weird I want to get you pregnant?’

“He said, ‘Is it weird I want to get you pregnant?’ Bye.”

EmmilyLWood


23. He said he couldn’t wait for us to get married.

“Met a guy online & agreed to meet him at a restaurant. He was waiting for me in the parking lot. I barely had time to get out of my car before he was shoving his tongue down my throat. I went ahead with the date chalking it up to exuberance. Afterward he sent me a long email about how excited his whole family was for us and he couldn’t wait to get married. I let him know real quick that wasn’t happening. Then, his twin sister calls me begging to give him another chance…WTF?”

8675398jenny_jenny


24. He revealed that his penis was smaller than average. He was also in his late 30s living in his parent’s basement with his cats.

“Whined about his ex-wife a lot. Told me the whole story over how he caught her cheating with his best friend. Ranted over the bills he got stuck with after the divorce. Then that devolved into how his penis was smaller than average and self-confidence issues with that. His issues were way beyond that stuff, too. He was in his late 30s living in his parent’s basement with his cats. I wonder if he is still there…”

hellokindstranger


25. He brought me to his house, which was like the ones you see on TV programs about hoarders.

“Went back to his place to chill out and stuff (we had worked together for a while so I knew him quite well), thought it’d be pretty cool to just hang out and play some games.

We drive to his house, it’s a nice area, pull up outside and get out the car. Everything’s cool at this point, things look pretty normal; kids playing out in the street, a guy mowing his lawn. All normal.

We go up to the front door, he opens it and we step into the house.

Oh. My. God. I have never in all my life seen anything like this, before or since. He was a massive hoarder. Not even like just a bit of stuff lying around, this guy had paths carved through his mountains of shit. Did he act embarrassed by this? Lol nope, he acted as though this was normal. He was 23, he knew this was not normal, he had been to other people’s houses, he knew this was well outside the realm of ‘normal.’

Out of pure pity, I hung out and acted pretty normal, didn’t say anything. I stayed for a couple of hours, trying not to touch anything because: a) it was filthy and; b) I didn’t want a mountain of crap falling on top of me and killing me.

After I left, I immediately had a shower. Holy crap, it was like the houses you see on TV programs about hoarders; I never thought I’d see something like that IRL.”

JustAnEnglishGirl95


26. He picked me up for a night at the theater wearing flip-flops and beach clothes.

“He picked me up for a night at the theater wearing flip-flops and beach clothes. I wore a really nice dress and heels. Fellas, I’m going to ask that you at least try harder than flip-flops as your shoe choice. Come on.

2- He yelled at me in front of people because I pulled my hand away from his (I was brushing a piece of my hair out of my eyes) and continued to loudly bully me because after he initially yelled at me, I didn’t want to hold his hand again. I think he was trying to make me cry, but it didn’t work and that made him more irritated.

3- He acknowledged my childfree status but repeatedly called me ignorant and stupid because I didn’t want to have his babies.

This was all during our first date. Within the first fifteen minutes.

That guy was a real fucking treat.”

VitaDeVoid


27. He slammed his hand on the table when the waiter delivered the wrong meal.

“The waiter accidentally delivered the wrong meal to him, and when he was pointing it out, he was pretty mad and slammed his hand on the table for emphasis. I’m not about people who are rude to wait staff and anyone who can’t control their minor irritation in a public setting.”

violentlyout


28. He gave me weed-laced cheesecake without telling me about the weed.

“We were supposed to meet at a café, he got delayed but lived nearby so suggested I hang out at his until he’s ready (instead of waiting alone for 20 minutes). He ended up giving me some cheesecake with weed in it. He didn’t tell me there was anything in it, just asked if it had hit me yet after about 20 minutes.”

caca_milis_


29. Explained he likes to suck dick, does gay porn, and asked if I’d be interested in doing porn, too.

“Set up on a blind date by a mutual friend…

Told me if I had any pictures on my Facebook he deemed provocative I would have to take them down by our ‘next date.’

Explained he likes to suck dick, does gay porn, and asked if I’d be interested in doing porn, too.

Revealed he had just gotten out of jail for drugs, crashing his car into a house and assaulting a police officer.

Needless to say there wasn’t a second date. Didn’t stop him from calling me multiple times from jail after he was locked up again.”

Kissmahcass


30. Leaned over to take my glasses off my face without permission.

“Leaned over to take my glasses off my face without permission. No thank you! His excuse? You look way prettier without your glasses. 1) my glasses are who I am, respect that I’m a dork and rock the sexy teacher look 2) I have a bubble 3) fuck you for removing my ability to see anything more than a foot away from my face because YOU think I look prettier blind as a fucking bat …”

lambchopxox


31. He said he couldn’t watch Dexter because it ‘hit too close to home.’

“Two things he said:

‘Women’s suffrage wouldn’t have been necessary if men would have just taken their wives’ political opinions into account when voting.’

‘I tried to watch Dexter but couldn’t. It hit too close to home.’

Um…”

tenkha


32. He said he was glad he could raise his four kids with someone like me.

“Met a guy on Tinder. He as super cute, really sweet, just awesome. I met him at a bar for a couple drinks. He waited until the end of the night to tell me that he has 4 kids, is going through a divorce, and is trying to get sole custody of his kids. I was 25, he was 27. I was a little thrown off, but OK, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. Then he spends 20 minutes telling how crazy his soon-to-be ex-wife is and how he was glad he could raise his kids with someone like me…”

krcook510


33. He was an hour and a half late because he was going through his metrosexual preparation routine.

“He picked me up an hour and a half late because he was getting ready. He proceeded to explain that this involved going to the tanning salon, getting an eyebrow wax, blow-drying and gelling his hair, shaving his entire body, and doing a 10-minute weight routine right before he left so he looked ‘swole.’”

Matilda__Wormwood


34. He called my cat ugly.

“Called my cat ugly when picking me up from my house. I kicked him out and threw his flowers at him.”

tomomaya TC mark

More From Thought Catalog