1. “‘If you can’t handle me at my worst…’
“‘If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.’ What these people don’t realize is that Marilyn Monroe who coined the phrase killed herself so even she couldn’t handle herself at her worst.”
2. ‘I don’t have any female friends.’
“‘I don’t have any female friends.’ Boys, run for the fucking hills. 100% guaranteed nightmare if you stick around.”
3. ‘I hate drama.’ It means she is the source of all drama.
“Ex-gf used to say she absolutely hated drama and wanted nothing to do with it when something happened at work, but drama seemed to follow her around everywhere, I quickly gathered that she was the cause and jumped the fuck outta there.”
4. ‘Bet you can’t handle me!’
“‘Bet you can’t handle me!’
Bitch, dating you shouldn’t be a challenge. Fuck out of here with that shit.”
5. If her behavior and personality correspond to Taylor Swift song lyrics.
“If her behavior and personality correspond to Taylor Swift song lyrics.”
6. She has the word ‘princess’ tattooed on her lower back.
“My ex-girlfriend has the word ‘princess’ tattooed on her lower back. So. There you go.”
7. When she masturbates with the pinkie finger raised.
“When she masturbates with the pinkie finger raised.”
8. ‘I’m a girl. I shouldn’t have to do that.’
“If the following words or any variation exit her mouth: ‘I’m a girl. I shouldn’t have to do that.’ FUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUU.”
9. Tiny dog. Tinier the dog, bigger the flag.
“Tiny dog. Tinier the dog, bigger the flag.”
10. ‘If you aren’t feeding me, financing me, or fucking me, your opinion doesn’t matter.’
“An old coworker was a Facebook goldmine of princess. My favorite post of hers said, ‘If you aren’t feeding me, financing me, or fucking me, your opinion doesn’t matter.’”
11. When they scream equality but yell at you that any manual labor is ‘man’s work.’
“When they scream equality but yell at you that any manual labor is ‘man’s work.’”
12. When she threw back her engagement ring at me and told me to get a better one.
“When she threw back her engagement ring at me and told me to get a better one.”
13. She breaks the $200 marble iPhone case her mom bought her, then gets excited when her mom buys her a new one.
“Talks about how much she hates the $200 marble iPhone case her mom bought her.
Constantly calls her brand-new MacBook Pro a POS just because she doesn’t know how to use it, then proceeds to throw it around and drop it all the time.
Breaks the $200 marble iPhone case.
Excited when mom buys her a new one.
Yeah, I didn’t stick around.”
14. Refusing to do something on the grounds that she’s too good for it.
“Refusing to do something on the grounds that she’s too good for it. Not taking out the garbage, cleaning a bathtub, whatever. Nobody’s too good to be humble and helpful. Anyone who thinks they are is an asshole.”
15. Referring to herself as a princess.
“Referring to herself as a princess. Or, ‘I can really be a diva, but (cutesy smirk) gotta love me!’ No. No I do not.”
16. When she asks if you want to be her sugar daddy.
“After going out a few times.
Woman: ‘Man. I’ve gone so overboard spending lately. Hey, can you take care of my credit card debt for me?’
Me, silent, looking at her oddly trying to decide if this is a bad joke.
Woman: ‘I mean, you could be a sugar daddy, couldn’t you?’
Me: ‘No. I’m not that old yet nor wealthy. And I wouldn’t be even if I were.’
Woman: ‘You don’t want to be my sugar daddy?’
That was the end of that relationship.”
17. Having ‘Princess’ written across the rear of their pink sweat pants.
“Usually having ‘Princess’ written across the rear of their pink sweat pants is a dead giveaway.”
18. Punishing you (silent treatment, etc.) in public.
“Punishing you (silent treatment, etc.) in public. Especially in front of friends.”
19. When they have a college degree and think Africa is a single country.
“When they have a college degree and think Africa is a single country.”
20. ‘I’m a super nice and loyal girl, unless you piss me off, then I become a psycho bitch.’
“Had a girl recently say this: ‘I’m a super nice and loyal girl, unless you piss me off, then I become a psycho bitch.’ I think that one is a pretty big red flag.”
21. ‘When are you gonna start buying me stuff?’
“This might sound fake, but I actually had a girl ask me ‘When are you gonna start buying me stuff?’ We’d gone out maybe four times, it was insane. I just about pulled the car over and made her walk the rest of the way to her house.
I guarantee you she is making some rich dude a great trophy wife at this point. She was dumber than a box of rocks, but I’m not gonna lie, she was really attractive. Quick story on just how dumb: Took her car to the mechanic, they told her she needed to change her transmission fluid. She went and bought transmission fluid, and put it in her gas tank. She was 23.”
22. Every time she asks you a question and mid-answer starts talking over you.
“Every time she asks you a question and mid-answer starts talking over you. A decent red flag IMO.”
23. When she works at your bank and looks up your bank account to see how much you make.
“I once dated a girl who had a dad that bought her everything. He made a lot of money and was really great at saving it. His life’s mission was to use that money to buy his bitchy daughters love. She was 22 and had her car paid for in full, insurance, phone bill, rent free living, yada yada. For her birthday every year she would get $1,000 in cash.
I on the other hand was 23 at the time and paid for everything I owned. I had a crappier car than her because I paid for it myself…she would remind me often of how much better her car was. I paid for all my other expenses and bills.
Then this insane thing happens.. she gets a job at the bank I have all my accts at…SHE FUCKING LOOKS UP MY BANK ACCOUNT TO SEE HOW MUCH MONEY I HAVE!!! She tells me this and criticizes that I only have $XXXX amt in the bank when she has $XXXXX I’m the bank and is ‘so much better than me at saving money.’ I never once in our whole relationship brought up the money issue or how she didn’t really work for what she had. This time though, I lost my fucking mind. I mentioned everything she had that she didn’t pay for and explained that if it wasn’t for daddy she would be a boulder 20K in debt. This blowup fight was the biggest I’ve had in any relationship. Our relationship ended there.
I learned a valuable lesson here. Always date someone who has similar work ethic and financial goals as yourself. I realized that I always resented her and can admit I was jealous of her getting handed money. That’s not right nor is it healthy. I’m happily married to a very hard-working woman who will help me raise a hard working-child.”
24. When you hear all about her baby daddy, her pain doctor, and her therapist within 10 minutes of meeting her.
“When you hear all about her baby daddy, her pain doctor, and her therapist within 10 minutes of meeting her.”
25. Allowing you to pay for damn near everything when she has a perfectly good job.
“Allowing you to pay for damn near everything when she has a perfectly good job. It’s even worse when she makes more than you, or you’re temporarily out of work, she knows it, and she STILL expects you to pay. I mean, at least offer, ‘princess.’”
26. Hits men and says, ‘You can take it; you’re a guy.’
“‘You can take it; you’re a guy.’
My best friend’s ex would literally shove him around without even warning him to vent her unrelated bad mood. Would be annoyed with his protests because she was significantly smaller than him and ‘Men can take it.’
Didn’t change the fact that shoving someone into a wall or a chair literally ‘just because you feel like it’ is as straightforward abusive as you can get.
The entitlement of it all.”
27. Idolizes the Kardashians.
“Idolizes the Kardashians
Selfies for days
Says you can’t handle them
Only puts their Insta handle on their Bumble profile
Drives drunk because they believe they’re invincible (have/had a friend who totaled her car while drunk driving and still drinks until she’s blackout drunk and says she won’t stop when she gets a new car because nothing too bad happened to her)
Expects to be spoiled at all times
Makes that face and tilts their head while trying to look cute for their Snapchat stories
Expects gifts for every small occasion or tiny argument
Has one of those little whiny dogs and dresses them up
Has an Instagram for their pet and gets mad if you don’t follow them
Takes a million selfies until they get that one special shot right
Complains about their likes on Facebook/Insta posts
Worries about their Followers/Following ratio on Instagram
Won’t let you see them without makeup
Puts on makeup to go to the gym
Takes a million selfies in front of the mirror at the gym (this counts for guys too)
Dates older men for their money and shows off all of their newly acquired diamonds, vacations, fake lips/tits to the world and acts like they’ve earned it
Consoles you by talking about their own problems
Is there for you during the rough times by being on Facebook the whole time and isn’t interested in a thing you have to say, but you better be there for them when they need you or else.”
28. If she thinks she can cut in front of me for the bathroom line just because she’s a girl.
“The other day I was at a party with no separate bathrooms. I was waiting in line for like 10 minutes before a girl stumbled before me (right before I was to enter the place, where the toilet was) and asks me if she can go before me (skipping me and everybody behind me), because she has to pee. I replied ‘Me too,’ grabbed her by her arm, moved her sideways and proceeded to enter the place of salvation. Didn’t mind being called a pig, because it felt good.”
29. ‘Bottled water please, tap water is for the working class.’
“‘I’m not interested in going to a concert unless we are in a private box’
‘You get the car and pick me up from here, I don’t want the rain to frizz up my hair. I just had it blowed out’
‘Oh, my dad’s always looked after that for me’
‘This place looks a little too grungy for me’
‘Bottled water please, tap water is for the working class’
‘What do you mean I have to do it myself?’
‘Every other boyfriend I have has always…’
‘People are paid to clean that up, so there’s no reason I should’
‘We can’t park so far away, I don’t want to have to walk all this way back.’
‘That’s what guys are supposed to do.’”
30. If she’s constantly late to everything.
“If she’s constantly late to everything and doesn’t see an issue with it. ‘Remember a princess is never late, everyone else is just early.’”
31. If she has ‘princess’ as part of her screen name.
“My ex had princess as part of her screen name. Needless to say she was a flat-out psycho. Thought it was OK to flirt with men to get what she wanted, lies beyond belief. And had the most amazing knack for getting people on her side. After we split up she went off the deep end and started drinking and popping prescription pills until she ran a guy over in the bike lane in California dragging him for a quarter mile before making a U turn and dislodging him. Guy survived. She got four years in prison. Got out a couple years ago and hasn’t changed a bit!!! Oh, and still thinks she’s a princess.”
32. ‘I get really moody so you should be prepared for that.’
“Self-identifying with obviously negative traits to try be ‘cute,’ ‘down to earth,’ etc. When really she wants to be exempt from criticism of her obvious flaws examples:
I’m so stubborn lol I just need everything to go my way!
I rely on my daddy too much.
I’m an alcoholic but you gotta live life right guys?!
I get really moody so you should be prepared for that.
I’m just so difficult to deal with sometimes, but everyone loves me anyway.
I can be a real bitch sometimes, I just say mean things about people behind their back but that’s me!
Also, if she thinks perfectly good-looking people are ‘ugly’ I heard this girl trash talk a couple I thought were really cute together and attractive, she was just picking apart every aspect of them for the sake of bitching. I suspect it was because she was a fashion elitist and thinks ppl who dress differently to her are ugly, and she needed to justify it.”
33. When you bust your butt to buy a house and the day after closing she says, ‘This is the best you could do for me?’
“When you spend almost three months’ salary on an engagement ring and she says, ‘I love it, but I want to add ‘this, this, and this’ to it.’
Or when she says, ‘My daddy always called me princess.’
Or when you bust your butt to buy a house and the day after closing she says, ‘This is the best you could do for me?’
Let’s just say things didn’t work out!”
34. Girls who post motivational memes with ‘this’ as their comment on social media.
“One of my friends put it well. Girls who post motivational memes with ‘this’ as their comment on social media. Then do absolutely nothing.”
35. If she goes with her friends and their boyfriends and I tag along, I have to buy at least 2x the stuff the other bf’s bought their gf’s.
“I dated a girl who was a typical ditzy upper class girl. She flat-out said on the first date all the rules to dating her:
She is very high maintenance and if I can’t handle that, I should just leave now
She expects at least 1 gift a week
She expects at least $120 for shopping a week
If she goes with her friends and their boyfriends and I tag along, I have to buy at least 2x the stuff the other bf’s bought their gf’s
I can’t take any pictures of her without her permission and if I do, she has to approve everyone that goes on social media
If we go out with her parents, I have to pay the bill
She wanted to go through my phone once a week to see that I’m not talking to other girls
If I go hang out with my friends, I have to text her at least once an hour
This girl was spoiled and crazy beyond anything I’ve seen before. Our relationship, if you could call it that, only lasted 2 weeks. Last time I checked up on her Facebook, she’s single, has a kid, and has quotes that say ‘My haters are my motivators.’”
36. A coworker of mine actually has Siri programmed to call her princess.
“A coworker of mine actually has Siri programmed to call her princess. Also, when she was having a bad day she would close her office door and put a sign on it that said ‘Miss —– is having a bad day, please do not disturb.’”
37. My biggest red flag was when my ex said ‘I’m a princess, and you’ve gotta do a better job competing with other guys if you want to keep me.’
“My biggest red flag was when my ex said ‘I’m a princess, and you’ve gotta do a better job competing with other guys if you want to keep me.’ I dumped her that night.
She was a stripper. With herpes. And a Xanax problem. I guess those are the red flags I somehow missed until that big one.
Within a month she moved from her place in California to a house with a fifty-something-year-old engineering professor at Georgia Tech in Atlanta. She’s 24 and now playing semi-stepmom to two kids roughly half her age. Definitely more princess than I could handle.
On a side note, for any engineering students out there at Georgia Tech, if your prof is dating someone who is half his age and kinda looks like a stripper, he’s got herpes.”
38. My ex had a license plate border that read ‘Yield to the Princess.’
“My ex had a license plate border that read ‘Yield to the Princess.’ 100% certifiably crazy.”
39. When they say $50K is the right amount of money to spend on an engagement ring.
“When they say $50K is the right amount of money to spend on an engagement ring…”
40. When she calls her dad to come pump her gas in the rain.
“I hung out with a girl when I went to PA school whose daddy was a doctor. Her parents filled her and her sister’s SBUX cards with a couple hundred each every month. He would pick up their SUVs and gas them up and get them washed so they didn’t have to. Not good enough?
One day she needs gas, and it’s raining. She goes to the gas station, calls her dad, and whines and complains until he drives there just to put the gas in her truck.
So glad I didn’t stick with that one.”
41. She gave her dad the silent treatment because she couldn’t drive the new car he gave her until six days after her seventeenth birthday.
“My girlfriend in high school was supposed to get a car for her 17th birthday; she cried and gave her dad the silent treatment when she realized she couldn’t drive it till 6 days after her birthday.”
42. “When they shit on their ex a lot.
“When they shit on their ex a lot. Like they were always the victim and their ex was a terrible boyfriend who was always an asshole. Huge red flag. There are two sides to every story.”
43. If a woman ever says, ‘I gave you sex’ and implies that she’s owed something in return, be on guard.
“Using sex as a weapon of manipulation. For example, if a woman ever says, ‘I gave you sex’ and implies that she’s owed something in return, be on guard. That’s a very ‘telling’ mindset.”
44. ‘I’ve realized I’m only happy on days where I get something new. So every day we should go to a store and get me something.’
“When she said, ‘I’ve realized I’m only happy on days where I get something new. So every day we should go to a store and get me something.’”
45. Girls who are obsessed with Disney.
“Girls who are obsessed with Disney. I mean yeah, it’s a dead giveaway, but still. No matter how much they deny that they like princess and prince stories, it’s always going to be a deep-seated thing for them. IMO Disney has shit messages and their animation quality just isn’t there, Pixar is just better no matter how you swing it, for animation quality, message and story, and girls who are obsessed with Disney are almost always some form of crazy/have a princess complex.”
46. Dated a girl that would let her mom cut up her chicken dinner for her like a child every time she went home.
“Dated a girl that would let her mom cut up her chicken dinner for her like a child every time she went home. She loved the extra attention. There were so many red flags I chose to ignore. That was definitely one of them.”
47. Anyone who has ‘live, laugh, love’ sparkle plastered all over their then MySpace or now Facebook page.
“Anyone who has ‘live, laugh, love’ sparkle plastered all over their then MySpace or now Facebook page or takes the opportunity to quote it as often as they can.
I find they are the fastest to snap, be vindictive, or start trouble no matter the situation. (typically backstab or talk trash about their friends).”
48. Posting a never-ending stream of ‘how a woman deserves to be treated’ meme graphics to Facebook.
“Posting a never-ending stream of ‘how a woman deserves to be treated’ meme graphics to Facebook. The ones with a script font and a silhouette of a man and woman embracing on a beach at sunset.”
49. They direct every topic of conversation back around to them or else check out.
“They direct every topic of conversation back around to them or else check out. Everything has to be about them if they’re a princess.”
“Horses. You’ll always be third in line with a horse girl, behind her animals, and her daddy’s money…”
51. Can’t sleep on a pile of mattresses if there is a pea underneath them.
“Can’t sleep on a pile of mattresses if there is a pea underneath them.”
52. If she automatically gives you her bags when shopping without asking.
“Run if you hear/see/sense any of the following:
References to ‘champagne tastes’ and ‘beer budgets.’
If they refer to themselves using the terms ‘psycho,’ ‘crazy,’ or ‘insane.’ Even in a joking manner. ‘Bitch’ isn’t included bc it’s such a trendy term that even non-bitches claim it.
When she insists that getting ready to go out should take longer than the actual outing.
If she automatically gives you her bags when shopping without asking.
If you have to take more than 2 pics per week for her Instagram. Or if she yells at you for eating before she takes a pic of your plate.
Feet stomping and high-pitched squeals when aggravated.
Asking you to speak to her parents on the phone before ever having a face-to-face introduction. Exceptions apply.
If you ever have to cut a date/outing short due to wardrobe or cosmetic issues.
If you hear ‘My last boyfriend’ more than once in the first date. Why? She’s about to give you her expectations of you and she doesn’t even know you yet.
If she won’t STFU about how horrible/ugly/fat she is. She knows you find her attractive, she just wants to CONSTANTLY hear it.”