32. Don’t order the most expensive items on the menu paired with an $80 wine.
“If I’m paying for dinner don’t order the most expensive items on the menu paired with an $80 wine.”
33. Don’t tell your date he’s “mansplaining.”
“She cut me off when the waiter came over & ordered my drink and meal in the name of ‘gender equality.’ I mean, I guess she equally as much as an arsehole. I just put the poor execution down to nerves and gave the benefit of the doubt.
Then she later got very aggressive while we were discussing our cars. She mentioned that she was just about to spend £150 getting her head gasket replaced. I mentioned that £150 wasn’t close to enough to have it done properly & that it would likely fail again, & recommended my mechanic. She blew off the handle calling me a misogynistic pig and that she didn’t need it mansplained to her. (It failed again 2 weeks later & was beyond the point of being worth fixing).
Needless to say, did not want a second date.”
34. Don’t stick your fist in your date’s drink.
“I ended up having my first and only date with a girl who was vegan not too long ago. Not that being vegan is a problem, but it’s helpful for the story.
To start, the conversation was miserable and interacting with her was totally awkward. Can’t stand going out to dinner with someone who expects me to carry the conversation, but that wasn’t even the worst part.
What really sealed the deal was when the waitress brought our drinks. Both were waters with lemon. She asked if I ever eat my lemon, and while I thought it was a little strange, I said that I didn’t, and just chalked it up as a vegan habit. She then proceeds to eat the lemon from her water, rind and all. I was a little disturbed by this, but again, this itself wouldn’t have been a nail in the coffin. However, things were about to get so much worse. She then asked if I was going to eat mine, and I once again declined.
She reaches over, grabs my straw and tries to fish the lemon out of my water. I kept my best poker face but soon lost it when she couldn’t get the lemon out with my straw, and instead stuck her hand in my drink to grab the lemon and eat it. Needless to say I was very dehydrated for the rest of my meal while she awkwardly stared at me eating a burger with painfully little conversation.
Ladies, if we’ve been together for several months and you’re trying to mess with me, that’s one thing. On your first date though, don’t touch anything I’m about to ingest. It’s disgusting.
TL;DR First date, girl fisted my drink, she didn’t get the call back.”
