22. Don’t make him babysit three kids he doesn’t know.
“True Story Time. Girl asked me out, which was nice for a change. We were both in our late teens and she said, ‘Let’s just have fun.’ Sure, okay nothing serious. I meet her at a bowling alley. Her… her friend, and her three juvenile cousins. Umm ok. Proceed to bowl, definitely weird that she has four people for support. Then as per her suggestion, we all go to a billiards hall afterwards. I get a table, after about ten minutes she nopes out with her friend, and I’m left with her three juvenile male cousins, and the tab for the table. I literally was asked out to pay for the privilege of babysitting three kids I didn’t know. She calls a few more times and I never return her calls. Years later, I see her on Facebook and it turns out she’s a lesbian and everything made perfect sense now.
So ladies, if you’re in the closet don’t waste time asking out straight guys if you really just want someone to babysit your cousins as a sham alibi to keep your sexual identity from your parents.”
23. Don’t show him pics of your ex and other guys you’ve dated.
“Show you pics of her ex and other guys she’s dated in the past.”
24. Don’t tell him that you’re going to rape him.
“First date was a costume party (This was around Halloween). I felt kind of weird going on a first date with someone attending a group gathering but it was a date, and I had been a recluse around that time. I go pick her up and she’s dressed up as Meg from Family Guy. Not a deal breaker, I thought that the idea/joke was clever but the costume itself wasn’t that great because many people remarked that’s how she always looked. I didn’t think she looked bad but whatever. The restaurant was Joe’s Crab Shack and she ordered a giant bucket of crab legs for herself. She ordered it and turned to me and was like, ‘What are you going to have?’ Halfway through the meal, she asks if i wanted to go by her place afterwards to hang out. So far, I’m not completely turned off, so I said I could hang out for a minute. She gets this really big creepy grin on her face and whispers in my ear, ‘I’m gonna rape you.’ And there it was. I was suddenly stuck with the question of how I was going to get out of this. I paid for both our meals and told her that my stomach wasn’t doing well and I’d rather go home. She then begs me to come home with her and she didn’t mean to do anything wrong. I really tried to convince her that my stomach wasn’t doing well. Saw her back at work the next day.
TL;DR Went on a date with a woman dressed as Meg Griffin. Told me she’d rape me after eating a bucket of crab legs.”
25. Don’t just expect the guy to pay.
“Expect the guy to pay. He will likely anyways but at least offer. 50/50 for the win.”
