11. Don’t keep talking about how big your ex-boyfriend’s dick was.
“Talk about her ex-boyfriend’s dick and how big it was. This actually happened to me a few weeks ago. She brought it up on two separate occasions throughout the date…”
12. Don’t give your potential BF your razor blade you used to cut yourself with.
“Give your potential BF your razor blade you used to cut yourself with. On the first date, because I seem ‘trustworthy.’ I got the hell out of that real quick.”
13. Don’t bring your ex with you on the date.
“The woman who, unbeknownst to me, invited her ex onto our date. When some random guy sat down beside me I laughed, until I realized what was happening. When they went to go smoke a cig and talk, I ordered two tequila shots from the bar…slammed ’em both, then just left. Told the bartender to put them on her bill and didn’t even feel bad.”
14. Don’t show up high on cough syrup.
“Showing up to Steak ‘n’ Shake on a stomach full of cough syrup unable to hold your head up may have been okay if our meeting each other wasn’t based around an event where I spoke to a few thousand people about what overcoming my drug addiction was like.”
15. Don’t be a crackhead.
16. Don’t ignore the guy and constantly text on the phone.
“Ignore the guy and constantly text on the phone.”