6. Don’t talk in a baby voice.
“Talk in a baby voice—it’s worrying me how many women I meet that talk like a 5-year-old.”
7. Don’t tell him how you almost died of a heroin overdose like it’s a fucking achievement.
“Telling me how she almost died of overdose on heroin like it’s a fucking achievement. When I hear heroin I kinda think of really bad STDs, so it’s a turnoff.”
8. Don’t divulge that you still live with your ex.
“Immediately divulging that she still lives with her ex and goes into excruciating detail about their relationship.”
9. Don’t talk about how your uncle molested you when you were eight.
“Talk about negative things that are not essential for a potential bf to know. I really don’t want to hear how your uncle molested you when you were eight. I get that it was very traumatizing, but don’t drop that bomb on me on the first date.”
10. Don’t draw pentagrams on the table with salt.
“Draw pentagrams on the table with salt. You were a real weirdo, Kirsten.”