1. He was rumored to have been caught in his backyard by his older brother having sex with a watermelon.
“One kid was rumored to have been caught in his backyard by his older brother having sex with a watermelon. Someone had the gall to actually ask him if he did it, and he said ‘Yea, so? I did it and my brother is telling everyone. So what??’. He earned the nickname Seeds after that. It really didn’t seem to bother him.”
2. He ate so much paper.
“This kid was only around in 3rd grade. But I’ll never forget him eating paper. He ate so much paper. He’d tear a page from a notepad, rip off corners in textbooks, etc. And he offered it to kids sitting near him like it was a snack. What a weird kid.”
3. She peed her pants in protest.
“Teacher wouldn’t let her use the bathroom during a test so she peed her pants in protest.”
4. He carried a dead baby bird around in a plastic baggie.
“One kid came to school with a dead baby bird in a plastic baggie. Carried it around all day, and put the whole thing in his mouth a few times to the horror of everyone present. He would also talk in weird accents throughout middle school and act like he was from another country, but we all knew that he was the son of one of the PE teachers.”
5. He wore a chicken suit to school as clothing.
“He wore a chicken suit to school as clothing. He’d sit in class like it was totally normal to be wearing full chicken costume, so everyone would just act like it was.”
6. He carried a huge 5 or 6-foot-long duffel bag with the word ‘BODYBAG’ spray-painted on the side.
“He didn’t carry a regular backpack. He carried a huge 5 or 6-foot-long duffel bag with the word ‘BODYBAG’ spray-painted on the side…”
7. He was obsessed with Godzilla and would roam around on all fours.
“He was obsessed with Godzilla and would roam around on all fours. One day during 5th grade recess he got really into it and bit 5 people before he was caught. After that day he was assigned a ‘friend’ for each day by the teachers so they could keep him from attacking anyone.”
8. Kid pulled a fully cooked chicken leg out of his jacket pocket, no wrapping or packaging, and just started eating it.
“We were sat in English class, and some kid answered a question, so we all turned to look at him as he answered (pretty normal)
Kid was rather quickly upstaged by the weird kid next to him pulling a fully cooked chicken leg out of his jacket pocket, no wrapping or packaging, and just started eating it.”
9. He would get upset if someone else fed the class fish.
“Girl was wearing a thong in freshman year, weird kid behind her got really horny and started jacking it, he would also get upset if someone else fed the class fish.”
10. He would pop and eat his pimples in class.
“I had maybe two classes with this kid senior year in high school, and I witnessed him pop and eat his pimples sitting in class. Yeah, eat his fucking pimples, I’m squirming just thinking about it.”
11. He would bring an entire gallon of Arizona Tea every day for lunch.
“Willie wasn’t weird, but being a 4th grader and bringing an entire gallon of Arizona Tea every day for lunch was interesting to say the least.”
12. He drew shit swastikas on the bathroom walls.
“Climbed up onto a bathroom stall divider wall and took a messy shit. It was like the stall was the target of a feces-based orbital bombardment.
This kid also drew shit swastikas on the bathroom walls every now and then.”
13. He would tie his shoelaces together and then try to walk.
“He sat at one end of the yard and tied his shoelaces together. He then proceeded to stand, walk and fall all the way to the other side. He was falling on purpose too and he didn’t say a word to anybody. At the end, he untied his shoes and continued to do whatever.”
14. He made dinosaur noises and hissed at people.
“He would walk around on his tip toes like a T-Rex and then make dinosaur noises and hiss at people.”
15. She would find someone new to latch onto every month or so.
“This girl Maggie would find someone new to latch onto every month or so. When she found someone she wanted to befriend, she would do crazy, over-the-top shit in an attempt to impress them.
At one point, she was obsessed with a girl we’ll call Kat. One day, Kat brought in a baggie of celery and was dipping it in a sauce cup of peanut butter. Maggie WOULDN’T STOP staring and basically watched Kat consume every last piece of celery….
Sure enough, the very next day, Maggie comes into class with, I kid you not, like 6 bunches of celery stalks, and a family-sized tub of peanut butter. She just eats it ALL day, with the biggest smile on her face, all while staring at Kat from across the room.
This is a lighter example of the many off-the-wall things Maggie has done for her transient idol of the month, but the endless bushels of celery is just something I’ll never forget….For the most part if she was seeking a guy’s attention, she would dress insanely provocative, to the point where she had to be sent home to change – this would happen ALL the time. Her parents were absolutely LOADED so if you told her you were into some hobby, she would go out and purchase all of the supplies/materials day-of, and bring them to class the next day to try and win your attention. Her nicer female stalk-ees would sometimes make the mistake of telling her where they bought their clothes, at which point she would immediately go out and buy the exact outfit and wear it the next day. I’ve seen that happen twice. I also recall her ‘oohing” and ‘ahhing’ at the most mundane shit ever. For instance, if said stalkee casually mentioned brushing their teeth that morning, she would genuinely have a super out of place, fanatical reaction. For the most part though, just your average low-key stalking, creepily grinning, and standing way too close for comfort at all times. She was quite the character.”
16. He called everyone he didn’t like ‘a squid.’
“Walked around the halls saying ‘penis penis penis’” or alternatively something that rhymed with that such as ‘smoke mariweenus, smoke mariweenus.’ Ate chewed gum off the floor. Called everyone he didn’t like ‘a squid.’ He never got picked on because if anybody pushed him or anything like that, he would scream at the top of his lungs.”
17. A cloud of garbage-scented air surrounded him.
“I knew this kid who smelled terrible. He’d walk in a room and this disgusting stench would follow him, like some sort of cloud of garbage-scented air. If you were in class with him it would permeate the entire room.
Anyway, one time one of the teachers found a toenail in his locker. He had some sort of fungal infection on his feet and one of his nails fell off, which he then proceeded to take and save so he could send it to a family member. Quite possibly the most disgusting and weird event I’ve ever witnessed.”
18. He stapled his hand to the desk.
“Wanted to freak out the substitute teacher so in the middle of class, he began screaming while attempting to staple his hand to the desk. After a bit of blood and a whole lot of screams, I’d say he succeeded in his mission.”
19. He did an elaborate presentation about why he wanted to work at McDonald’s and live in a dumpster.
“We had an assignment one time to create a presentation about what we wanted to do when we graduate high school, this kid in my class did an entire presentation on how his aspirations were to work at McDonald’s whilst living in the dumpster eating the thrown out Happy Meals. It was really well put together, the kid was really smart, just also really fucking weird too.”
20. He would army-crawl from class to class throughout high school..
“Instead of walking, the weird kid in my school chose to army=crawl from class to class for all of high school. Apparently he thought he was the main character from Metal Gear Solid.”
21. Regularly put a lighter to his hair in the computer labs to make the teachers think a computer was on fire.
“Regularly put a lighter to his hair in the computer labs to make the teachers think a computer was on fire. I suspect they knew what was happening but had to take the necessary precautions like call the fire brigade.
When the same kid was about 13 / 14, he was bullying some girl. The girls older brother, about 18, confronted him about it, the bully put the guy in hospital.
He topped all of that by killing a suspected pedophile with a paving slab though.
22. ‘ll never forget the day I watched him walking down the hall with a Twix wrapper across his eyes.
Kid I went to school with was a nice kid, but weird. Definitely had some form of special needs, but I never knew what exactly. I’ll never forget the day I watched him walking down the hall with a Twix wrapper across his eyes. Like he was wearing a Cyclops (X-men) visor. I asked him why he would do that. His response was ‘well I can see through it, so I wanted to see through it’ (Yes, it was translucent enough to see through).
I felt so bad for this kid. He was bullied badly. The kids at school were awful to him. One day at lunch, I watched a giant asshat walk.up to him after just sitting down with his lunch. Grabbed the kid’s backpack and also his Gameboy from the table (which was like the only nice thing the kid owned), threw it straight in the trash, and then dumped the freshly bought lunch right on top of it. God, that makes me mad just now thinking back on it.
On top of the constant bullying he received from the kids, the teachers had a hard time dealing with him (they did try, but it was tough when the kid comes out of left field with things and had zero home support), and everyone knew his mom didn’t give a shit about him. Wouldn’t take him to doctor’s appointments, wouldn’t get him his meds, wouldn’t do laundry for him or help him.with basic hygiene. She ran a salon and told him to sit in the corner and not bother her. He would ask for things like water or a snack, and she would just yell at him, in front of clients (which is why everyone knew all this).
To be honest, I was seriously afraid of him getting a gun and shooting up the school. My city was a hair’s width away from being in the woods (lots of camo and country music), so it would have been not too hard for him to get a gun somehow. I was actually planning (based on his schedule) escape plans, and what I would say if I encountered him on a rampage.
One day he knocks on my door. Tells me he’s moving down south to live with his dad, and he seems really excited. Thanks me for being his friend, and wished me well. Then, a couple years later, he was visiting the area again, knocks on my door, and says hi, asks how I’m doing, tells me he was thinking about me. He tells me things were much better, that he was happy living with his dad, and things were better. If I were a betting man, I’d bet that his dad actually got him proper meds, and acted like a half decent parent to the kid.
I hope things are going well for you, Josh. I hope that you got it together, because you always deserved better than pretty much everyone in town gave you.”
23. We had called him the ‘ha-ha man.’
“We had called him the ‘ha-ha man.’
I can’t even remember his real name anymore but he used to follow my friends and I around the playground, and he was a year or two younger than I was. Once he started to creep us out and we tried to ignore him, he started yelling ‘if you don’t get back here I’m going to grab your HA-ha’ I’ll never forget how he would say it, and this went on for over a year.”
24. Constantly wore anime T-shirts that were about 2 sizes too small, jean shorts, and carried a box of doughnuts around.
“There was this guy everyone called Big Andy. He was kind of nuts. I mean like, the most caustic neckbeardy guy you’ve ever met in your life. I was kind of one of a few people that figured he was mostly harmless, but dude was that militant nerd variety that made it kind of hard to defend him. Threatened to bash people’s faces in, blow stuff up… I mean he had some serious issues.
Reason people picked on him, was that he was about 300+ lbs, in high school, constantly wore anime T-shirts that were about 2 sizes too small, jean shorts, and carried a box of doughnuts around. No seriously, a box. He also had a really high pitched squeaky voice. I mean, all of that, and people are assholes.
He had it in his head he’d go become a computer programmer, start a video game company, and land a helicopter on the roof of the school during our reunion (His words).”
25. Screamed ‘THERE’S CUM EVERYWHERE!’
“Got up in the middle of math class (with no prompting), filled his hands with sanitizer, and clapped them, spraying it everywhere and screaming ‘THERE’S CUM EVERYWHERE!’
Nobody was even talking, he just thought it would be cool.”
26. A belt in one hand and a boomerang in the other.
“We had a kid in 6th grade, let’s call him Tim. Tim was constantly getting in trouble for not listening to the teacher. One day Tim and the teacher got into an argument. The teacher told Tim to step out of the classroom and wait in the hall so they could talk. On his way out, Tim slammed the door extremely hard, with the echo bellowing throughout the entire school. The teacher then told Tim to go to the office, and he closed the door, only for Tim to start running and kicking the door over and over again. The teacher walked up to the door and locked it for our safety, then grabbed his phone to call the office. We couldn’t see anything Tim was doing in the hall because the door was one of those ones with only a tiny window to see through, so what the teacher said on the phone caught us all of guard.
‘Hello, yeah, one of my students was misbehaving so I sent him to the office and he began kicking the door. Now he is currently pacing around in circles outside the door with his belt in one hand and…. a boomerang in the other.’”
27. He was a wizard.
“He was a wizard. One day after watching him for weeks couple of us just had to talk to him about it. So we approached him and another young man who had what looked like a girlfriend there and started with ‘So um, heard that you were a wizard?’ He nodded his head with a serious face. Of course we asked how this happened, and he informed us that he was just born that way. So we asked if he could show us something and he told us we weren’t ready. One of us, being the anarchy loving individual he was, told him that his friend standing over by the wall was talking shit about him, said his staff was better than his. He chuckled and said he didn’t even have a staff. My friend followed with a ‘Well he said you were a pussy.’ At that time he looked over his shoulder, looked back at us, then walked over to the dude, put out his hands and looked like he was straining and started yelling. The dude standing at the wall collapsed and we all kinda lost it. He came back over to us and smirked. This guy laid there for a good half hour or so until the girl convinced him to resurrect her boyfriend. He went over to the dude laying in the grass and stood over him with his hands out and the dude got back up. After that one of our goofy friends begged him to teach him the ways and make him a wizard. Followed him around for a good 3-4 weeks as his apprentice I’m guessing lol.”
28. He claimed he tore the head off a lion with nothing other than his hands.
“I knew a kid called Ieaun. He was a nutcase.
He wore the same shitty trench coat and fingerless gloves every day for 2 years. This is a list of his more memorable ‘Quotes’
• He claimed his dad worked in Dubai and his job was to just shoot people from the top of a skyscraper if they looked ‘Shifty.’
• He bare knuckle boxed a midget and killed him.
• He tore the head off a lion with nothing other than his hands.
• He jumped 60ft off a multistory car park on top of a car like Batman.
• He had secret plans to an A-Bomb under his bed.
• His mother, a 50 year old morbidly obese chain smoker, was world #4 in Judo.
• He was on the CIA most wanted list (he lived in a small town in SW England) for ‘Hacking the Pentagon’.
• He knew the 9/11 attacks would happen (being 9 when this occurred) because he could ‘Dream the future.’
• He had a pen made entirely out of gold that he would give you if you ‘Promised to be his friend.’
• Used to invite people over with his friend Ryan (who later was convicted of grooming up to 100 underage girls some of which were aged 11) to watch German porn.
• Moved away for a year and said he was in Munich learning the way of Buddhism. Was seen a week later a few towns across.
There are so many more I don’t know where to start.”
29. Every day he would walk through the halls making train noises.
“There was this kid I knew freshman year of high school named Jonas who thought he was a train. Every day he would walk through the halls making train noises and just taking things out of people’s hands, backpacks, etc. because he said he needed to deliver them somewhere else. One day he went up to this kid who he had taken a lot from and stole his pen. The kid had had enough and told Jonas that he wasn’t a train and that he needed to grow up. Instead of getting angry Jonas just said, ‘You’re just mad because I’m a mail train and you’re only a coal cart.’ Everyone lost it and even though nobody was ever mean to him before, after that everybody knew who he was and would say hi and offer him small things that he could collect and take away.”
30. He would capture bugs and eat them.
“During P.E. he would go around trying to capture bugs, then go to corner of the gym and try to eat them.”
31. He claimed to be a genius in math and science said he would one day rule on a floating continent..
“Guy who claimed to be a genius in math and science said he would one day rule on a floating continent.
He had pages worth of random equations and formulas that somehow gave him the answer to creating a floating continent.
He would walk around school with a clipboard asking people if they wanted to participate in the gladiator tournament he would hold once he had his floating continent.
I signed up for this gladiator tournament. I’m still waiting for the phone call.”
32. I can hear you call me a school shooter and I do not FUCKING like it.’
“Senior year of high school there was this kid people used to bully, let’s call him John. John was a pretty weird guy, he was always way too close to people, especially girls, and said weird inappropriate jokes in class. People would often call John a school shooter (this is important later).
So then fast forward to the final week of the year and our AP Literature class is assigned a final project about anything we want. Research any topic and present the topic to the class in a 5-10 minute presentation. Most people choose a book they liked, maybe a history topic… John? nope he made a homemade video that was filmed on his desktop computer talking about how he hated life.
Imagine a 15 minute grainy video of a kid sitting in a dark room who is just going off at all he’s been holding in. The video starts ‘you guys have been making fun all these years so shut the FUCK up and let me rant a few minutes… I can hear you call me a school shooter and I do not FUCKING like it.’ Keep in mind he’s sitting in the room with us, while Video John is just spewing anger and holding back tears on the big video screen.
Genuinely thought he was going to shoot up the room after that video. Definitely felt bad for him but it was the most awkward/scariest thing I’ve been through.
People were much nicer to him after that. The teacher was one of the best teachers in the school imo. He got an A on the project, from what I’ve heard.”
33. A teacher found a hit list that fell from his notebook.
“He was really tall and I’m pretty sure had some form of autism, but he was always set off when people called him ‘Giraffe.’ He would absolutely lose it and scream and yell, and people thought it was funny. I was brought up with special needs kids, so I had befriended him and would hang out with him at the lunch table.
Flash forward to senior year, a teacher found a hit list that fell from his notebook. I was one of the few people on the ‘Do Not Kill’ list – I found out when the principal called me in and asked me what I knew about him and if he was actually a threat.”
34. He’d wear a Abraham Lincoln hat and demand his hat was respected.
“Ah who could forget Edward. I could write a novel of all the weird shit he did in high school.
I remember him yelling and cussing out his pet rock surrounded by a puddle. ‘What have you done Dexter?! Whhhyyyyyy?!’
He’d wear a Abraham Lincoln hat and demand his hat was respected. Of course teachers would let him be. They genuinely thought he was insane.
In class he’d face the wall speaking in tongues whispering crazy shit.
Dude used to stink as well. Doubt he ever bathed.
Definitely the most insane guy there was.
Last I heard he’s a chef and still crazy. Fisting the soup then licking it off.
He’s folks were kinda insane too. Went over to his house and his dad had the chair facing the wall looking at a bike. He just sat there. Then all of a sudden he yelled. Who’s fucking bike is this!!! I swear I nearly had a heart attack from laughing.
Started making a documentary about him on my phone but alas it fell in mud and all the footage was lost.
A rare breed he was. Was really funny come to think of it. Just an all round crazy fuck.”
35. He tried eating a Coke can.
“We weren’t allowed to have drinks other then water in class in my high school but there was this one guy we shall call him Kevin, Kevin was in my french class and I’m fairly sure had a minor learning disability he loved coke and so decided to sneak a can of coke into class. Now our teacher had no control of our class and on this particular day we had been acting up a lot to the point the teacher snapped and was threatening to call our parents (I went to a boarding school and the ultimate punishment other than suspension and expulsion was contacting our parents) now Kevin had a very bad disciplinary record and was on the verge of expulsion which in a school like ours was a big deal (spent 6 years there and nobody was ever expelled). So when the teacher finally got us settled down we were working through some verbs or whatever you do in french when Kevin shouts out, the whole class turns to Kevin at the back of the class with blood poring from his lips and his mouth. The teacher brought him straight to the school nurse, without asking what happened. Upon further inspection by one of my classmates we figured out what happened. Kevin had been drinking a can of coke down the back of class and when he heard that our parents could be contacted for our behavior he decided he needed to get rid of the can before the teacher noticed. To him the best option wasn’t putting the can in his bag or throwing it out of the window he was sat beside no Kevin’s genius plan to get rid of the can was to eat it. We found a bloody can with chunks missing and bite marks in it, To give him credit he did eat a good bit of the can which was fairly impressive.
Just on a side note Kevin once went to the pool after drinking a can of Budweiser and though he was too drunk to swim so decided to just stop swimming and nearly drown.
TD;LR Guy in my class tried to eat a Coke can and nearly drown because he decided he couldn’t swim.”
36. The word ‘Jefferson’ would set him off.
“He used to get mad to the point of attacking whenever you said certain words. They were not even remotely offensive either. The biggest one was Jefferson.”
37. Eric had a pet rattlesnake.
“One afternoon in elementary school, the class from across the hallway came piling into my classroom looking as white as ghosts. Even the bullies looked like something scared them half to death. Before they had been led into my classroom, they had been told to stay quiet so as to not unnecessarily alarm us, but from what we gathered, something BAD had happened during show and tell. A few minutes later, the police arrived with their guns drawn. A few more minutes later, animal control arrived, ready for bear. About a half hour later, we could see the police leading our resident weird kid Eric away followed by animal control who carried something wiggling in a canvas sack. We were all then excused from class and allowed to go home because a couple of teachers and teacher aides were too upset to continue.
The following day, we found out what had happened. Eric has brought his new pet snake to school. That wasn’t unusual back then. This was the late 1960 before everything was made child safe. Kids used to bring snakes, rodents, even tarantulas to show and tell. But then a teacher’s aide tapped the glass of the terrarium Eric had brought his snake in. The snake rattled and then struck the glass with these big bloody fangs.
Eric had a pet rattlesnake. A whopping big rattler too. Three feet long.
Nobody had any idea where Eric got the rattler and he wasn’t telling. We were living in Long Beach, California where there aren’t a lot of snakes. After the police took Eric home, animal control went up to check his bedroom, and discovered he had more dangerous snakes up there, including coral snakes! We never saw Eric again after that. He wasn’t a bad kid. He had some developmental problems, but he was a kind-heated little guy who could’ve been a hero’s sidekick in a Disney movie.
God bless you, Eric. You were weird, but you were a damn good friend.”
38. He wrote ‘shit’ on the toilet wall with his shit.
“Aged 10, he wrote ‘shit’ on the toilet wall with his shit. Cue the whole year of boys being lined up and asked, one-by-one ‘Did you do it?’ without being told what ‘it’ was, looking for a guilty reaction. Turns out his fingers smelled like shit. Busted.”
39. This one girl was really obsessed with the warts on her finger.
“This one girl was really obsessed with the warts on her finger, I guess the treatment she put on them was really irritating or something. But instead of wearing band-aids or whatever, she’d use her spit and shape a few tissues into a giant mold of her finger to cover the whole finger up. Apparently she left some of these long, finger-shaped tissue wads on the floor, and the teacher flipped shit, thinking the girl was using them to masturbate or something.
She’d walk laps around the playground, staring at her boobs and singing to herself. She and her friend would act like cats, like, hissing and people and scratching each other at recess (in 7th grade, no less). She would occasionally fly off the handle and scream at people at the top of her lungs. She was tiny, and in high school, she would just shut herself in a band cubby (it had a door on it) and just hide for the whole lunch period. Not napping, just chillin’ in the dark.
It was me. I was that kid. I was fucking weird.”
40. She put tampons in her ear and pretended to be listening to music.
“She laid down between two bleachers and got stuck. They maintenance people had to unscrew the seat on the bleacher to get her out.
This same person, while we were doing the ‘tell us your name and one thing about you’ thing in class, she says her name and the one thing about her is ‘I am strange!’ and she gave this creepy wide-eyed smile.
This same chick was caught cupping her own farts and sniffing them.
This same chick also put tampons in her ear and pretended to be listening to music.”
41. Shoved a dime up his nose and had to have it surgically removed.
“Shoved a dime up his nose. He had to have it surgically removed.
Poor kid, I wonder what he’s doing now.”