29 People Describe What Sex With A Trans Person Feels Like
Found on AskReddit.
1. It’s basically like being with a cis dude with a very small dick.
“My ex is a pre-bottom surgery trans man.
As the top commenter said, it’s basically like being with a cis dude with a very small dick. He has been on hormones for 8 years so his growth down there was pretty developed. We were able to have penetrative sex (I’m a woman, btw). Also he was pretty skilled in the whole sexual department, and I put that down to him being a woman before so he knew how to work female genitalia in a way that a cis man couldn’t.
Apart from the physical side, the emotional side can be pretty intense. A lot of pre-surgery trans people have issues around dysphoria during sex, and this stopped sex dead in its tracks a few times for us. He did not like being penetrated at all, which I didn’t realize at first because he was too shy to tell me. That was a bit awkward, and it made me feel like shit afterward.
Overall, even though he had female genitals, it was pretty much just like being with a cis guy physically. 10/10, would sleep with a trans dude again.”
—Doomkitty666
2. It is different because of different hardware, but still quite enjoyable.
“I am in a relationship with a pre-op MtF girl. It is different because of different hardware, but still quite enjoyable. She cums from anal quite a bit, and I enjoy it as well. Mechanically, it would be very much like regular anal, but the emotional component and feelings behind it all is like any other relationship.”
—BearonVonMu
3. She was incredibly tight and we needed a lot of lube. But it was pretty great.
“I was FWB with a woman who I actually started hooking up with pre-trans I guess? She had a penis when we met and we did everything anally for a few months. She finally got herself ‘fixed’ and she was the happiest I’ve ever seen someone be in my whole life, it was a pretty nice experience. She took a few months (maybe close to a year) to recover. When we went to hook up again, she just had a vagina. It looked pretty normal, pretty cute. She was incredibly tight and we needed a lot of lube. But it was pretty great.
Honestly, it felt nice to look HR in the eyes while we fucked, not being able to do that totally removed a lot of the connection for me.”
—_Dorkus_Prime_
4. I have never been with a woman with such vaginal strength.
“I’ve been seeing a guy (FTM) for over a year now. I am a bi guy(CIS).
He very much looks and smells like a guy. Very muscular as well.
So sex-wise for me, everything has been better. I have never been with a woman with such vaginal strength. Would be scary if it wasn’t such an awesome feeling. His natural lube does seem to be different. The same, but with a little more stickiness, then the few women I’ve had un-condomed sex with. Not that I’ve had
enough to know how they all are.
I like to think the sex has been great because we are clicking well, not because of our genders. Kissing has been the biggest deal. I just love holding him and kissing him.”
—guynamedbuck
5. The lack of penis didn’t bother me, but the presence of a vagina was a bit startling.
“It threw me off a bit, the lack of penis didn’t bother me, but the presence of a vagina was a bit startling. It was hard to get the sheer presence of it out of my mind for some reason. Super-hot and nice guy though. I definitely enjoyed myself, it was just a bit disarming, but not much was actually different (we mostly did anal, but I herp derped up in his snatch for a bit and it felt pretty good, but I was unaccustomed to the angles of view that vaginal sex leads to, it was novel and a bit strange).”
—ezra_sinclair
6. The only issue was, she had pubic hair growing inside of her vagina.
“Yes, I am a bi guy. I hooked up with a MtF, I just liked her style. She had had a lot of surgery, including a neo vagina. I wanted to try it. I’ll call her Molly, cuz that’s what she liked to do. ;) I met her at a fetish club. She was hot, and she didn’t pass. There’s something that turns me on about non-passing MtF’s, it’s hard to explain. But the point is: I didn’t expect her to pass, and she wasn’t trying to fool me. The neo-vagina didn’t pass either, but it sure did feel good. I would be down to do it again, if Molly hadn’t been so into drug culture, I would have. The only issue was, she had pubic hair growing inside of her vagina. Thick, coarse ones. I asked her about it, and it has something to do with the neo-vagina being constructed from testicle skin. There are pictures of this online. Anyway, I could feel the hair through the condom even, and I was worried about these vaginal pubic hairs causing condom breakage. And diseases, Molly was a lolly but she got around.”
—dumnenenene
7. It was tight, it was soft, it was warm, it was very wet (because we used lube!), and it was sex with someone I was already mentally in love with.
“I had a year+ relationship with a MtF post-op. We went from chatting at a bar, to playing (at a BDSM club), to fucking, in about a month and a half. Not entirely out of the norm I’d guess.
She said she’d started on hormones pretty late but also had a very delayed puberty so that sort of evened out, and then went to Thailand at 29. We met about 4 years after she had surgery. All that to say that she had slim hips, a slim bone structure, pretty much nothing pointed to ‘born male appears female.’ Her vagina looked like a vagina. There’s enough variety in the world that I didn’t inspect it vigorously to determine how it came about. She had some small breasts that weren’t implants. Basically, I didn’t know.
Sex was great. We needed lube, but the only uncommon thing about that for me in many cases is that we needed it right at the start instead of first sometime in the middle. It was tight, it was soft, it was warm, it was very wet (because we used lube!), and it was sex with someone I was already mentally in love with. Also breasts. And my hand around her throat. A good time.
She told me she was trans, in a public place, a little while later. She was worried about what sort of reaction I might have to learning that. The whole ‘you tricked me into fucking a dude now I’m going to kill you’ thing. But I just didn’t care. This is actually something I’ve thought about a lot since, and I wish she had told me ahead of time. I understand why she didn’t but it’s still something she kept me from having informed consent about. Since I didn’t care to begin with I haven’t stayed too worried about it.
Our relationship went really strongly for a bit over a year and we ended up breaking up over personality meshing issues. A regular old breakup. But even by the end the sex was still great.”
—throwaway_5kv37y
8. The surgical scar from the vulva up was a distraction, as was the unusual hip-to-waist ratio.
“The first minute was good, after that it was uncomfortable.
I’m a guy. This was at a sex club. I walked in on her (male-to-female) sitting on a bed with a younger guy who clearly couldn’t perform for whatever reason. So she was horny, I was horny, and we got it on immediately.
The room was dark, and she had kind of a strong chin, but I didn’t really think about it. She was on top, and held my arms down. I thought, ‘Man, she’s strong. And not merely strong for a woman (of her size.)’
But the vagina felt great. Naturally lubricated, better than those of some natural women I’ve been inside. However, the surgical scar from the vulva up was a distraction, as was the unusual hip-to-waist ratio.
My experience is probably unusual in that I had sex with her while getting acquainted. I don’t know whether the onus was on her to tell me she used to be a dude, or on me to notice it before plunging in. Either way, it wasn’t awful. I might repeat if I knew what to expect going in.”
—Chiliad3
9. His fluids taste like cum and his parts all have a man’s smell and they’re all covered in hair.
“My partner and I are both trans. I’m MtF and he’s FtM.
Most of it is about as different as sex is with any other partner. Everyone has their likes and dislikes, and you kind of fumble your way around to figuring out what works, and then do some more of that. He’s obsessed with my breasts and mauls them at every opportunity, when he nuzzles my neck or kisses me his beard scratches me up. He smells like a man, I smell like a woman. My skin is soft and his is hairy.
There’s lots of kissing and groping and laughing and talking and dreaming, and then our pants come off.
His dick is about the size of a pinky finger from the second knuckle. I can give him head just like any other guy, and he love it. His fluids taste like cum and his parts all have a man’s smell and they’re all covered in hair.
I still have a functioning strapless that gets joyfully ignored. It no longer produces emissions and I have multiple orgasms. I particularly enjoy having things put in my inguinal canal. It’s called muffing, and it feels really nice. It hits all of the important nerves and has enough space to fit a thumb. If you have testicles and aren’t on HRT, your testicles might get in the way.
Remember my guy’s size? Yup. It fits. Perfectly.
So yeah, it’s pretty normal, just a little different, and the pillow talk is way more interesting.”
—super_cute_nihilist
10. We both went from being horny and wanting something inside of us to wanting to grind on things instead.
“My partner and I are both trans, and both Female to Male. Neither of us have bottom surgery-—but that is more due to the lack of good surgeons/surgeries in my area than a lack of desire for it.
Hormones still do a lot to the clitoris. I think the thing that surprised us both was how quickly our clits grew. My partner’s does not stay tucked up in the skin anymore, and it freely hangs down a bit. I can actually give them head-—like giving a blowjob to a very tiny penis.
Other than that, body smells are now a thing. Even after having a shower just that day, the body smells a lot different now than it did before. And everything is very hairy.
We’re both about 8 months into hormones right now, so I’m sure we still have a long way to go as far as changes go.
In comparison to a cis dude—the dick is just much smaller. Also, we both went from being horny and wanting something inside of us to wanting to grind on things instead. Humping makes so much more sense now, and it’s become so much more fun to just grind. Sometimes we prefer that to trying to even bother with penetration.”
—livefox
11. Having sex with a mtf transsexual was like having the best of both worlds: the looks and touch of a female but with a little surprise down below.
“I (male) have had sex with a mtf escort. I was in Australia and had always been interested so I decided why not. Besides the fact that she was an escort it was actually a pretty enjoyable experience. Besides having a deeper voice and being a little taller than most females, she did not look any different than any other cis female. As for the sex, besides having a penis, it was surprisingly similar to sex with a cis female. It was actually a great experience because I was allowed to experiment with a few fantasies while still being turned on by her appearances. I don’t consider myself gay and would probably never have sex with a male but having sex with a mtf transsexual was like having the best of both worlds: the looks and touch of a female but with a little surprise down below ;)”
—whynot_buttstuff
12. She has small A-cups and smells like a girl.
“I’m currently dating a trans woman. It’s great. She hasn’t had bottom surgery because from what the doctors have told her there is only a 60% chance she will be able to achieve orgasm if she does. Her testes have withdrawn back up into her body and her penis has gotten smaller. She doesn’t ejaculate. So basically she has a large clit and no vagina. There are the usual issues with anal penetration but being bisexual myself I know how to navigate these issues.
She has small A-cups and smells like a girl. She acts like the woman that she is. I really enjoy spending time with her, even out of the bedroom.”
—bothways1
13. Her vagina was very much like any other woman’s though the labia were a bit smaller, in her case, and she had a less ‘depth.’
“My (ex) girlfriend had transitioned six years before I met her, and completed her sexual reassignment surgery (SRS) two years prior. Before surgery the effects of estrogen combined with androgen (male hormone) blockers had transformed her breasts, hips, skin and hair and greatly affected her sex life, as well. Most MtF women eventually lose the function of their penis due to hormone treatments, and for many this is not a problem. Receiving penetrative anal sex became much more pleasurable after hormones for my gf, and she could orgasm that way alone. I am told this is a common side effect, though not every woman experiences hormone treatments the same way.
After SRS, my gf had an extended period of recovery where she slowly regained sexual feeling and the ability to enjoy vaginal sex. She told me it was like a training period where her body reconnected with her new vagina both physically and mentally. From my perspective having sex with her two year after the surgery, her vagina was very much like any other woman’s though the labia were a bit smaller, in her case, and she had a less ‘depth.’ Genetic women can accommodate babies, after all, and their vaginas are remarkably stretchy.
Her vagina did not lubricate naturally and required plenty of lube for sex, but I am told that new SRS procedures can now use the body’s own secretion-producing tissue to simulate vaginal lubricant during arousal. All in all, she was very pleased and fulfilled that her body was now fully female in form and function and that translated into hot sex. When we were dating, she was coming very close (pun intended) to achieving orgasm from vaginal sex and I was of course eager to help her on that journey. :)”
—seppo2015
14. Honestly it was pretty hot.
“A friend of mine is FTM and we sort of hooked up at a party. Honestly it was pretty hot. I’m male myself but I’ve never really cared about my partner’s gender or at least it doesn’t play much into whether or not I’m sexually interested in them. He preferred that I didn’t penetrate him so we just sort of grinded, made out, and rubbed each other off. I’d do it again.”
—Ambybutt
15. Sex seems to work best as a tender, sensual affair with lots of nipple stimulation.
“MTF here, plus I have a MTF partner. Neither of us have had surgery, though both of us experience significant dysphoria about our genitals. Money is the most significant hurdle to getting an orchiectomy or vaginoplasty.
Sex is difficult. We both are extra sensitive to each other’s needs; we have sex drives and enjoy the pleasure of the penis being stimulated while simultaneously getting sort of grossed out with our own body. Recently she was stimulating me, and I started crying, so sex stopped and she comforted me in my dysphoria. We talk a LOT about the dysphoria and any frustration we have. Sex seems to work best as a tender, sensual affair with lots of nipple stimulation. My own issues are exacerbated by a lot of guilt over sexuality that comes from growing up as a fundamental Christian.”
—emilyraven
16. I’m a whore, so the penis didn’t stop me from initiating sex after the first date.
“Some background info: I am a cis woman, married to a mtf woman. I had never dated a trans person prior to her. I was a ‘gold star’ lesbian. When we started dating, I knew she was trans because she stated so in her dating profile. We actually met in ‘the real world’ but I had seen her profile and remembered her from it. The night we met, after it was obvious we hit it off, she disclosed her pre-op status. As I already knew, I was able to avoid any look of surprise, no matter how momentary. This, I found out, really put her at ease. Much respect to anyone that has something like this to disclose during early dating. It must be terrifying. Anyway, I’m a whore, so the penis didn’t stop me from initiating sex after the first date. I did have to admit I had no idea how to work with a penis, but we are both very open sexually, so we were able to talk through it (and our kinks) in a fluid manner. The sex was great. Standard p in v stuff, oral (both ways), some choking. You know, normal. Though she needed a lot of stimulation to orgasm, and it didn’t always happen. I remember being extremely impressed that first time that she was so accepting of her current situation (no bottom or top surgery, and small breasts from hormones). She ended up getting her SRS (Satterwhite) about two years into our relationship, after we got engaged. The results look good, and she is fully orgasmic. She’s had issues with healing, though, which are mostly from her not doing what she is supposed to do for upkeep. It’s killed our sex life, and has led to a lot of resentment on her end. Some is mental issues I’m battling with, some is my not wanting to deal (during sex) with the occasional blood and malodorous discharge that comes from her not healing a surgical site properly. It’s just not arousing at all. She’s working right now with her OB to properly heal the neo-vagina, so I’m hopeful.”
—LivinLaVidaThrowaway
17. Couldn’t tell a difference.
“I did in July or so from a OKCupid date/hookup. Four times in about a 24-hour period. I actually didn’t know ’til after though but I did think it was strange when she asked for lube like right away. I’ve had girls ask for lube before but usually its ones that are older or farther into relationship.
Anyways couldn’t tell a difference. A friend of mine went to high school with her when she still had a dick. She only went part of Freshman year then was home schooled. I thought my friend was bullshitting me but scanned the year book pic and told me to search her name on Topix and people talk about her having the surgery done. She also had very small boobs. Usually the voice is a red flag in videos but hers sounded feminine. She was only 20 so must have had it done early or started hormones early.
I didn’t see her again; she was a bit of a nutcase and clingy. Sex was good though. I already had decided not to meet up with her anymore before I found out about the sex change. I probably would have still hooked up with her if she told me but feel not telling me was uncool so just reaffirmed not talking to her anymore.”
—throwaway12121344523
18. We have mostly vaginal sex, but it feels more like sleeping with a guy, like with a good bro.
“Background: I’m a Bi cis-gender male, my partner is a trans man (ftm). I met him over summer this year and he disclosed from the beginning that he was trans. The majority of my sexual experiences have been with female partners. I came out as bi to my family because of him.
We talked through text and phone calls before we met in person and he had told me about himself including sexuality and gender (gay trans man for reference.) The way he described himself I would have guessed his feminine features might be more apparent, and that he may have trouble with being misgendered. To my surprise upon first meeting him, besides the lack of beard, that made him look a little younger than his age, he seemed like any other gay guy. We hit it off after meeting and started dating.
As for sex, since the options for bottom surgery aren’t that great, he isn’t planning on it and has come to terms with that. Before we started dating, I thought I had a high sex drive, but since we started living together I just can’t keep up. We’ve talked about it a lot and I understand his needs (for the most part) and he understands my libido isn’t quite is high as his.
So, with that said, I feel like our sex is far closer to gay sex and is fundamentally different in practice than the sex with all of my previous female partners. Oral sex is easier due to his clit being closer to a small penis, sensations like sucking, nibbling, more and harder pressure tend to be much more pleasurable. Even during vaginal intercourse, it feels much more like topping a guy, hair/stubble rub against me, his low moans are in a stark contrast to the female tone. We have mostly vaginal sex, but it feels more like sleeping with a guy, like with a good bro. There are only subtleties of his previous identity. I don’t plan on sharing those because I would rather be the only one who knows. Otherwise he is rather masculine, slightly timid face, normal proportions for his shorter stature, most of the time he wears briefs and binds. So, looking at him on a typical day at school/work most people easily see a male. He has a normal male odor and uses masculine deodorant and wash. He began shaving his genitals at my request, but he’s hairy in the rest of the normal places for a guy.
As our relationship is young, we haven’t ventured into too many unknowns, but plans for the future include pegging because, well, I can’t have all the fun. That’s one of the perks of a relationship with a trans person, because conversations about sexuality tend to come up early and more often. Kinks and sexual play feel more comfortable to discuss. This level of communication in my experience has been difficult to work towards in my prior relationships where sexuality wasn’t brought up due to the status quo.”
—Burnafterreading8856
19. The clits engorge considerably, and are a ton of fun to play with, closer to a blowjob than cunnilingus.
“Bisexual man here, I’ve dated/had sex with two pre-op transmen on T, one who started hormones while we were dating.
The clits engorge considerably, and are a ton of fun to play with, closer to a blowjob than cunnilingus.
Testosterone seems to interfere with vaginal wetness, so lube is important if he’s interested in that, and seemed to make him interested in sex more frequently but for a shorter session.”
—PaisleyBowtie
20. Such a great and unexpected experience, a whole different kind of sexy!
“I had an awesome experience with a MtF girl, who had been on hormones for a while but still pre-op. Already had bigger boobs than me but still rather well-endowed downstairs. I am bisexual so am very much into both guys and girls anyway, but it was such a great and unexpected experience, a whole different kind of sexy!”
—GetSchwifty96
21. If I’m horny she just plays with my dick and if she’s horny I just play with her breasts and her rather bubbly butt.
“I have dated a (mtf) girl for about 3 years now. She told me early so I knew ahead of time it would probably end up being different but I went for it. It actually was a lot better than I thought! With the help of lube she was particularly wet and I was able to go in and get my business done. We don’t really even have sex that often. If I’m horny she just plays with my dick and if she’s horny I just play with her breasts and her rather bubbly butt. And yes, she looks like a perfectly normal female.”
—ShovelBeatleRillaz
22. Super tight and small.
“Super tight and small. Her size makes deep penetration hard and feels like a vise on my dick. She got it done by one of the best, paid all cash and went with the largest size available. I have had sex with women who are smaller, but over time their body seems to accommodate. Also the limits on the vagina seem to be a hard stop in my partner.
Overall the sex is amazing, even the intercourse, intercourse is a small part of great sex.
I love her and am so glad she is part of my life.”
—LovesStrippers
23. The parts down below felt totally normal.
“Felt fine. The scar around his chest was interesting, where he had had his breasts reformed, but the parts down below felt totally normal.”
—mrtlwolf
24. It was mainly like masturbating but with two people involved.
“Trans myself and bisexual, so far had sex with: a cis guy, a trans guy who had not transitioned at all yet, and a post-transition trans guy.
Sex with a pre-everything trans guy meant I was bottoming almost all the time and he didn’t like to be touched much. Not much to say aside from that, in general I quite liked it as we had similar sexual interests and that seems to be the main factor in whether I enjoy sex with someone, aside from emotional connection.
Sex with a post-transition trans guy is quite different, as firstly I can actually touch him and even occasionally top, and secondly his body is quite different. Even if the genitals are the same at the start, hormones significantly change how they work and look.
I could not have sex with a cis woman in the same way even simply for logistic reasons, a woman’s vagina does not exactly look and work like a post-transition trans man’s genitals. Without going into details, there are things that would just be downright impossible.
Sex with a cis guy is something I was very curious about and had expectations for, but ended up being very disappointing. I would guess mainly because there wasn’t much of an emotional build-up so it was mainly like masturbating but with two people involved and more awkward, and we weren’t very compatible sexually. Curiosity towards cis dick is a poor substitute for sexual chemistry.”
—Heautonimoroumenos
25. It was about the same experience as being the top in your average gay sex.
“Context: I am a cisgendered bisexual mid-20s male. I have been in sexual relationships with both cis men and cis women and feel perfectly comfortable with either. I have several transgender friends and have all the respect in the world for transgender people.
I was in a short-term casual relationship with a trans man (that is female-to-male) about two years ago that lasted only a month or so. We met on a dating site with the intention of drinking beer together and possibly having sex. I don’t remember who instigated the exchange but he ended up coming to my place. He had been on hormone replacement therapy for several years and had had top surgery. He was completely ‘passing,’ i.e., you would not be able to tell he was transgender unless you were told, or saw him without clothes on.
Physically, the sex was pretty unremarkable. Being that I am bisexual and have had experience with both men and women I was not exposed to anything I was uncomfortable or unfamiliar with. I would say that oral sex was the same as going down on a woman (albeit quite a bit hairier than most cis women like to keep it) and otherwise it was about the same experience as being the top in your average gay sex. The strangest part about the whole thing for me was how I was maybe… overly sensitive about him being trans at first. Not wanting to ask any questions or offend, letting him take the lead, etc. He was quite comfortable with being trans, though, and after the first time we had sex, each time after that was the same as any other gay casual relationship. We would have continued seeing each other but he had plans to move across the country and we started seeing each other with the knowledge that it would be a short-lived ‘fling.’
I’ll answer any questions.
tl;dr-—same as regular old gay sex once I stopped being overly sensitive about his trans status.”
—Throwaway6622994
26. I’ve had anal and oral with both cis and trans women and it feels identical.
“She didn’t dilate a lot so it was too tight to function in. I know it hurts girls, but it’s for your health, not just for sex.
Otherwise I’ve had anal and oral with both cis and trans women and it feels identical in that regard, and it wasn’t a problem.
My standards for women are nearly as high as my standards for myself, but what she was born with (hair color, metabolism, ethnicity, genitals, social class, etc.) don’t really factor into it. In that regard I’m extremely not picky. So I’ve had at this point almost equal share of sex with trans and cis women, and about 20% of my relationships were with trans women.
Men don’t do it for me though. Just not attracted.”
—CourierOfTheWastes
27. He’d had top surgery and looked just like a guy, had body hair and a dripping wet pussy.
“I hooked up with a FtM trans guy once, he wanted to wank me while I played with his clit. He’d had top surgery and looked just like a guy, had body hair and a dripping wet pussy. It was pretty cool, I’d definitely do it again.”
—peavey136
28. My cock wouldn’t fit inside.
“I tried sleeping with a trans lady once, my cock wouldn’t fit inside, apparently it was too soon after her op, so it compared pretty poorly.”
—sluthrowaway1234
29. It felt pretty okay.
“I had a Male to Female. I’m a male. It felt pretty okay, the only problem I encountered was that it was noticeably wider and felt worse than the average vagina I encountered. And another problem was that we had to use lube, otherwise it was just almost impossible.”
—Yimpro