40 Ways That Ugly Guys Can Find A Girlfriend (According To 40 Ugly Guys)

Illustration by Daniella Urdinlaiz / lookcatalog
Illustration by Daniella Urdinlaiz / lookcatalog
Found on AskReddit.

1. Be funny.

“Humor is the fastest way to the bedroom, my friend.”


2. Find a girl with poor eyesight and low standards.

“It’s just a matter of finding the right person: poor eyesight and low standards.”


3. Get a puppy.

“Got a puppy.”


4. Good cologne, good hygiene, and confidence.

“Charisma. Shit can’t do anything about my looks. But nice fitting clothes, good cologne, good hygiene, and confidence will go a long way.”


5. Be ugly as fuck but funny as shit.

“Four sisters, single mum, not a single male cousin and female friends. I’m ugly us fuck but I’m funny as shit and know how to talk to women, been with my partner four years and hopefully many more.”


6. Have a chubby dick.

“Confidence, even if feigned, is extremely valuable in that situation. Also, my dick chubby as fuck.”


7. It’s called self-confidence and personal hygiene.

“It’s called self-confidence and personal hygiene. It isn’t rocket science.”


8. Have a massive veiny throbbing…personality.

“With my massive veiny throbbing personality.”


9. Show her your sick dance moves and Kung Fu prowess.

“I showed her my sick dance moves and my Kung Fu prowess.”


10.  Be really really really funny.

“By being really really really funny. That and a little bit of confidence can go a long way.”


11. Become a magician.

“Magic. Chicks really dig guys who do magic.”


12. Get in shape.

“I’m pretty sure my face is jacked, so I just went to the gym more. You can’t have a jacked face and a grotesque body.”


13. Join a band.

“Learn an instrument…join a band. Not the easiest of suggestions but it is the one with the most payoff.”


14. Personality to get one, oral to keep one.

“Personality to get one, oral to keep one.”


15. Poor eyesight on her part and mad cunnlingus skills on my part.

“Poor eyesight on her part and mad cunnlingus skills on my part.”


16. Be a funny asshole.

“If you’re an asshole to enough potential partners, at some point one of them is going to have issues and be into it. Gotta be a funny asshole though, you can’t just be an asshole.”


17. Move to China.

“I moved to China. Totally worked.”


18. Have a huge dick.

“By having this huge dick of mine.”


19. Smoke so much weed that they can’t see you through the smoke.

“I smoke a LOOOOOOOT of weed. People can’t see me through the smoke.”


20. Be humble but confident.

“Groom yourself.

Dress well—this doesn’t mean suits or expensive attire, just make sure it fits, color matches, etc. Go to a place like Men’s Warehouse for help until you learn how to do so yourself.

Be reasonably fit. Again, you don’t need a six-pack, just make sure you’re not obese. Most women don’t care if a guy has a little pudge.

Be stable. This means don’t get smashed every weekend, have a plan for your future, and be consistent.

Have interests. It doesn’t matter what they are, passion is attractive.

Be open-minded. Don’t be a snob about other people’s passions or likes, which results in being overly critical. Be willing to explore her passions and likes.

Be positive and optimistic. People like to associate and spend time with people who are happy. No one wants to spend time with someone who is always self-deprecating and/or depressed.

Be humble but confident.

There are many, many things ‘ugly’ guys can do, but this is a great list to start.”


21. Keep looking at her.

“I just kept looking at her…

It actually worked…

Idk why she’s with me…”


22. Keep positive and practice good hygiene.

“I don’t consider myself handsome at all but I have been happily married for 25 years. I think the best thing is just to keep positive and good hygiene. There’s always someone for everyone.”


23. Go to social events, join clubs, use Tinder and online dating.

“Go to social events, join clubs, use Tinder and online dating, etc. While meeting people, you will meet single women and you will click with one of them eventually. Even if the people you meet aren’t single women, they might be able to introduce you to some.

It really doesn’t matter how you look; somewhere out there is somebody who finds your looks sufficient without any change and you just have to find them.”


24. Get yourself some swagger.

“Ugly guy here who does really well with the ladies. My big moment was realizing if I focus on external validation I’m always going to lose. So I focused inward, built my skills, talents, abilities (including my ability to socialize and talking to women—I just reframed it in my head from ‘oh no these people/women are rejecting me’ to ‘huh. Guess I should have been more x or y in that interaction, let’s try again with someone else!’)

After a year or so I sudden I realized my sense of self-worth had increased so much to the extent where validation from other people seemed to pale in comparison to my own sense of self-worth. And all of a sudden I realized I had swagger. And girls really responded to it. In a way being ugly made it even better. It’s like they thought ‘this guy’s ugly how on earth is he so confident and relaxed?! What does he know that I don’t?’”


25. Change the things about your looks that you can control.

“By making myself un-ugly. Mostly ‘ugly’ people are that way because of factors they can control, mine was pepperoni face levels of acne and super oily hair that looked gross if I even skipped one day of showering. I got tired of using crappy face wash and started seeing a dermatologist, the pill he gave me worked instantly. Got a buzz cut and looked ten times better. As they say ‘the true definition of insanity is doing the same thing twice and expecting different results.’”


26. Just be yourself.

“This is the most cliché in the book, but by being myself. It took my several years to figure out what that was for me. I am not by any means ugly but I am a little fat, got bald at 19 and I am not very tall (in NL everyone is a fucking giant) so I wasn’t very confident in my teens and early 20’s.

However, the last 3 years or so I found out I am a very positive and optimistic person with a good sense of humor. It’s not that I am swimming in babes but I had my fair share of beauties. Pure beauty wise I am almost always punching above my league.

Having a proper job, degree and manners also helped.”


27. Just be a good person and good things will happen.

“Just refuse to acknowledge looks as something that matters. Just be unapologetically you, be love, be kindness, be compassion. Just be a good person and good things will happen. Remember that it’s worth waiting for someone who’s able to see through the ephemeral such as looks, and can see into your soul and loves you for that, as well as don’t be so superficial and shallow yourself. Beauty exists in all forms, and you’re beautiful even if the mushy meat sack you’re encapsulated in doesn’t meet ‘society’s standards of beauty’ I believe in you bud, everything will work out.”


28. Change things you don’t like about your appearance.

“Where you can change or draw attention away from things you don’t like about your appearance. Take a before and after photo so you can feel good about taking control.

This will help you to build a more confident and enjoyable personality to be around. That confidence will also help you to accept the things you can’t change.

Here’s my personal examples:

I’ve got bad teeth, a flat head, a doughy jaw line, and a crooked nose.

Thick glasses draw attention to my eyes and away from my nose. The right haircut and beard give a more aesthetically pleasing look to the shape of my face and head.

Haven’t done anything about the teeth yet but the confidence I’ve gained from unfucking these other traits of mine makes me more confident. I spent time in front of a mirror smiling, as if for a photo, and I’m totally cool with it now. I accept it and look less like I’m uncomfortable and hiding something when I smile (whether it be naturally or for a photo).

Obviously, personality goes a long way as well but being comfortable in your own skin is a very important first step.”


29. Learn to cook & be self-sufficient.

“Groom properly (every day, routine).

Buy well-fitting clothes & smart shoes.

Get measured by a tailor (hire a tux) and invest in 1 or 2 well-fitting suits (blue, black, grey).

Look after your body.

Learn to cook & be self-sufficient.

Those are the easy ones. I spent years in retail / hospitality so I have developed good conversation and sales skills, I’m outgoing and good at engaging people, I’m confident and try to be funny (but not too hard). I laugh at myself, I am brutally honest and always open but most importantly I’m secure in myself, I don’t hide behind anything.

I’m not rich but I am fiscally responsible, I’m average looking, I have alopecia on my face so can’t grow a beard or stubble. Obesity and heart disease are common in my family but I’ve definitely done better than someone with my looks should have!”


30. If you’re interesting, it doesn’t matter what you look like.

“Be interesting. Have things to talk about. What people who moan and complain on the internet about not attracting girls seem to universally fail to understand is that looks are only a small piece of the puzzle. If you’re interesting, it doesn’t matter what you look like. I promise you that.”


31. Learn how to dance.

“I wouldn’t call myself unattractive, but I definitely wouldn’t say I’m particularly attractive either. On top of that, my social skills aren’t the best.

Despite that, most of the girls I’ve dated have been these incredible European dancers (am American) that are basically straight out of a classic heterosexual male fantasy. Hot accents and everything. The reason I can get away with this is that I learned how to partner dance well. Given three minutes, a good song and a good dance floor, you can make a pretty strong first impression and a pretty strong connection if you know how to lead properly and enjoy yourself.”


32. Be hilarious as fuck.

“I wouldn’t say I am bridge-troll ugly, but I am by no means better than average. Cameras hate me.

Anyway, I was half-drunk after a night of drinking Jager. My buddy was bummed out so I went up to a girl I thought was hot and who would clearly reject me out of hand. And, since it would be publicly, my buddy could then laugh the spectacle and feel better.

We’re married and have a kid now.

Also, I am hilarious as fuck. And hung like a…hilarious person.”


33. Stop acting desperate.

“Stop trying to get a girlfriend.

Girls don’t like when a guy is actively trying to get close to them so shy away. Strangely, they like is even less when a guy is not trying to get close to them and the start approaching you.

So speak to women that you meet like you are talking to your sister. If you can relax around her then just do the same thing. If you have never had a sister, then treat them as though they are your best friend’s sister (also out of bounds).

Basically you are treating them as friends, (dare I say ‘equals’) that you can trust. Girls like that.

And don’t succumb the first time that they hit on you.”


34. Listen while giving massages.

“I’m a trained massage therapist who’s also a good listener.”


35. Be comfortable in your own skin.

“Be a good conversationalist, be fun, and be comfortable in your own skin.

These attributes will help you out in most facets of your life. If you are a joy to talk with and be around, people (including women), will want to spend more time with you.

I’ve seen so many what I call ‘lopsided’ couples where one person is far more attractive than the other and it turns out that the person that married up (or dated up) is usually really cool and charismatic. Sometimes they both are, but it is more so the less attractive one in the pair.

Source: I’m not that great looking, I’d say I’m average, but I’ve got a descent sense of humor and try to be a nice and fun person. My wife married down for sure, because she is gorgeous.

Fun Story: One time I was waiting for my wife to get off of work when she managed a cell phone kiosk in our local mall. There was a guy I knew leaned up against the counter talking to her. I was just standing around and listening to him and realized that he was flirting with her, when she starts dropping hints that I was her (at the time) boyfriend. After about 10 minutes he got the hint and looked at me, then looked at her, then looked back at me and said ‘Are you…is she?”, I said yes, she’s my girlfriend. He then apologized and as he walked off kind of shook my hand like ‘way to go, man”. I don’t know if he said that because she looks like she is out of my league or what, but that’s how I took it. Lol.”


36. Be passionate about something. Also, be tall.

“While I’m not exactly ugly, I wouldn’t consider myself good looking either. I’m 32 and have had bad skin/scaring acne for about 20 years and I have an almost comically huge nose yet I’ve always managed to out kick the coverage when it comes to dating good looking women. I think I knew very early that my looks alone were never going to get me anywhere with the ladies so I better start compensating in other areas. I taught myself how to cook, work on engines, play guitar (which has actually worked against me on occasion) work out etc. I just tried to become a well read and intelligent interesting person until I was confident that ladies would WANT to get to know someone like me. It also helps to have a passion for something. I don’t know why that is sexy to women, but more than one has stated that as being a major reason for getting intimate with me.

Seriously though, upping your game in the kitchen is probably the best advice I could give to a young man. Learn how to cook. Watch some Gordon Ramsey videos on some basic things you need to know and start learning. I had a little leg up when it comes to this. I’d always be in the kitchen with my Italian grandma cooking when I was a kid. She always said you shouldn’t ever have worry about finding a decent woman just to get a decent meal. Also, I used to watch the Food Network in high school like some kids would watch MTV. Having a beautiful lady over on your second date to cook her a meal is almost always a home run. You’re on your turf so hopefully no more first/second date jitters for you. Go find some old episodes of Molto Mario and do what he did. Be entertaining while you make her a meal and she’ll love it. Get her to help even. It’s always worked for me. Hell, one time I met a girl at a bar and got to talking about mayonnaise and how homemade was so much better than store bought. She didn’t believe I could make mayo. I brought her to my place, made her mayo and that was it. Sexy times were imminent.

Up your game in the kitchen.

Also, be tall. I’m 6’2 and for some reason that does it for some women.”


37. Be funny and charismatic in social situations.

“Serious answer:

Personality aside, I’m probably like a 4/10. I have like 0 chin/jaw, and my hair is thinning pretty bad. There are a couple of key components for me. The big one is that funny and charismatic in social situations. People look to me to keep conversation light and entertaining, even if we’ve never talked before. The second one is that I’m a singer/actor. It’s not so much that I do that specifically, but it shows that I’m passionate about something and active about pursuing it. Most girls don’t care what it is you do, as long as you’re passionate and excited about it.

The third and final thing is to be attentive and caring on the first date (assuming you’re already getting that far). She wants to know that you’re a good listener, and empathetic.”


38. Learn how to make good cocktails and an amazing sandwich.

“Learn some skills and have some interests (plus grooming).”

If you think of yourself as an ugly loser with nothing to offer, it won’t come across very well. If you are someone who knows how to make good cocktails and an amazing sandwich and goes to concerts / the theater / other cool things, you can think that you’ll make her a cocktail and take her out on the town for a fun night—in short, have something to offer. Something other than ugly desperation.”


39. Just treat women like normal people.

“Just treat women like normal people. Don’t neg them and don’t put them up on some weird creepy pedestal. Just ask normal questions and have normal conversations. Might sound crazy but women aren’t as shallow as you think, or as they are perceived to be, talk to them and 99% of the time they talk back. When I was younger me and my friends all fancied this girl, I was the fat one of the group and didn’t think I stood a chance so when we spoke I wasn’t trying to impress her I just had a normal conversation. 15 years later we are still together have owned a house together for ten years and have an eight-year daughter.”

Source: big fat bald fucker who’s just a postman with a smoking hot mixed race (I say that as don’t think a woman will judge you on race) girlfriend of 15 years who used to model (actual model as in get paid not pay to model).”


40. Find you a girl that loves pizza.

“Idk if I’m ugly, but I’m pretty good at figuring out what girls want. I usually just offer them food or Starbucks to get my foot in the door. Find you a girl that loves pizza.”

sir_lerm Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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