15. ‘She was pushing me away slowly while also removing any sexual aspect of our relationship.’
“I cheated on my ex after she became too clingy one summer. We’d just finished our freshman year of college and moved back to our hometown for the 3-month break. She refused to get a summer job, and conveniently decided to ruin every single one of her friendships in our hometown. So, she was left with me and only me to entertain her and fill her time.
A typical day for me that summer looked like this:
Wake up to a text from GF ‘Hey babe good morning I miss you.’ Then I’d go to work and text with GF all day. ‘Ugh I’m so bored when are you off work?’ She’d say. Get off work, go to GF’s house, watch TV with GF til about 11pm. Go home, get text from GF ‘Hey let’s Skype!’ Skype with GF til about 1am, say goodnight. Repeat.
Sometimes she’d even make me call her from my car when I’d leave her house.
I couldn’t do it anymore. She literally wanted constant contact with me during every hour I wasn’t sleeping. Sleep was actually the only reprieve I had from her. She bitched all the time about how bored she was and about how all her friends were assholes and how terrible her summer was going. In my mind, I was thinking ‘well you did this to yourself, you ruined your summer get over it.’
Around this time, my GF also started withholding sex from me. She said she wanted to slow things down, so all we did was make out. I constantly had blue balls and started watching porn WAY more often to remedy the situation. It was a perfect storm. I couldn’t stand to be around her anymore, but I loved her and didn’t know what to do.
A new girl had started at the place I was working that summer. She and I hit it off and we connected on how dissatisfied we were with our current relationships. One thing led to another and we hooked up in the walk in freezer of the restaurant we worked at.
I regret cheating on my ex, for sure. But the reason I did it is because she was pushing me away slowly while also removing any sexual aspect of our relationship.
I should have just ended it and THEN hooked up with the girl from work, but you know…I was 20 and stupid. And horny. And my balls hurt.”
16. ‘I just couldn’t help myself and then justified any guilt by saying she would be more hurt if she found out.’
“I just couldn’t help myself and then justified any guilt by saying ‘she would be more hurt if she found out.’ I think the constant wanting to be out of the relationship but still liking her and being scared to be without her made it easier for me to do what I did rather than break up with her and then sleeping with the girl.
Anyone reading this thinking of cheating, don’t. Just don’t, you will destroy that person. I’m still paying for what I did, going to therapy, on meds for anxiety. But that is nothing to what must be going through her head after being betrayed by the one person she loved and thought she could trust. I have cut contact, she was ready to forgive me but I couldn’t. I couldn’t trust myself right now to not take her for granted, I need to grow up first.
Anyone who has cheated but hasn’t told them, tell them. Please. Sure you might think it is better they don’t know but it will come out eventually, the guilt will be too much, i promise you. And then they are faced with the decision of staying with someone who has lied to them for the past however long, and how many other lies have been hidden? Just tell them.”