27 Things You Should NEVER Say To Your Girlfriend Unless You Want To Get Stabbed

Instagram / Vivien Liu
Instagram / Vivien Liu
Found on AskReddit.

1.

“We have a new coworker. I like to work with her. Her smile is beautiful.”

PM_ME_YOUR_SMOOTH_SIDE


2.

“Your ass is bigger than my wife’s.”

gobigred3562


3.

“Welcome home, how was your business trip? Look, I washed the bed sheets.”

jojodancer5


4.

“‘I have a crush on your friend.’

Yes, this happened. Yes, we’re still together and worked through it. But it was a rough time of trying to be supportive of him (since he had no intention to act on it and felt bad about feeling that way) and at the same time wondering why I wasn’t good enough.”

ashmaer


5.

“‘Calm down.’ That’s a recipe for getting stabbed.”

Ozwaldo


6.

“The honest answer to, ‘Do I look fat in this?’”

ImNotNew


7.

“The real and unabridged answer to, ‘What are you thinking about?’”

andnowforme0


8.

“I don’t intend to cheat on you.”

BannaMonster


9.

“The new neighbor has a nice ass.”

PM_ME_YOUR_SMOOTH_SIDE


10.

“‘If your sister was single, I’d be with her.’ True story.”

Oh-dear_oh-dear


11.

“‘You’re more important to me than I am to me.’ It sounds nice and all, but. You’ve demonstrated your low self-worth, and set yourself up to be marginalized.”

TooFastTim


12.

“I’ve thought of other women when masturbating.”

Obwalden


13.

“That dress doesn’t make you look fat. Your face does.”

juxtaposition21


14.

“Your sister’s breasts don’t feel as firm as yours do.”

Gordon432


15.

“My ex was better in bed.”

girlfromthestar


16.

“You smell a bit menstrual.”

KingGully


17.

“I think you might be crazy.”

psychotic3d


18.

“My ex is so fucking hot.”

robloxdude420


19.

“You’re overreacting.”

Swagonair


20.

“Why do you bother putting on makeup all the time? You look the same without it.”

TopTenVideo


21.

“You sound just like my mother.”

jimicus


22.

“Happy Birthday; I got you a treadmill. ”

Just-Call-Me-J


23.

“You’re starting to sound like my wife.”

Le_Chop


24.

“I need to get home to my wife and kids….”

vito1221


25.

“Of all your friends you have the tightest vagina.”

bigchocolatethighs


26.

“Your brother can suck a mean dick.”

TheBestof73


27.

“Hey, would you like to start coming to the gym with me? We could work out together!”

FoximusMaximus TC mark

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