1. PMS cramps feel like you’re scraping the insides out of a pumpkin at Halloween.
“I have used the following phrases to try to explain PMS cramps to my boyfriend, he looks legitimately horrified every time:
• you know what it’s like when you’re scraping the insides out of a pumpkin at Halloween? That’s what my uterus feels like right now.
• it’s kind of like somebody just stabbed me in the lower abdomen with a dull spork. Like one of those disposable plastic ones.
• it’s like my lady parts have come to life and decided to live without me. So they’re trying to cut their way out of my body from the inside….
• you know that sharp pain when you stub your toe? Like really stub your toe? Yeah, it’s kind of like that, but inside.
• that cringy feeling you get from nails on a chalkboard? It’s like that entire sensation, including the chalkboard, except contained inside my uterus.
• imagine there’s a tiny band of angry dwarves living inside your abdomen. Now imagine them trying to pickaxe their way out.
• it feels like there are hands clawing at my insides, but my insides are like weird, fleshy concrete. So they scrape and scrape until they slowly eat away at the walls.
• do you know what it sounds like when you tear a really heavy fabric? It’s kind of like that sound as a feeling.
….I don’t think they really grasp the actual feeling of period cramps, so I like to be descriptive. I think it helps.”