30. You never really know who someone is until you break up with them.
“I learned 2 things. First thing is, you never really know who someone is. My ex went completely berserk on me when we broke up. Cut my microwave oven cord, cut my shower curtain down, logged into my Facebook and made my status about how much of a loser I am and then stole my router. Second thing is, don’t try to keep any lines of communication open with them because you feel sorry about breaking up with them. I was with my ex for 7 years or so and felt that I owed it to her to keep in touch with her to make sure she was doing OK. That promptly blew up in my face after she faked a 911 emergency and destroyed a friendship that I valued dearly.”
31. ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ is wrong. It almost always is ‘It’s us both.’
“‘It’s not you, it’s me’ is wrong. It almost always is ‘It’s us both.’ The difference is how much responsibility you place on the other person, and how much responsibility you take for yourself and your part in things getting to the point that they did. Focus on your partner as the main cause, you’ll never learn. Focus on yourself and what you did wrong, you will. It’s never 100:0, but with the right balance, you can become a better person at the end of it all.”
32. Just do the breakup clean; don’t drag on it.
“Don’t drag on the breakup. Don’t take breaks. Just do it clean.”
33. Don’t sacrifice your own happiness for the sake of someone else’s.
“Don’t sacrifice your own happiness for the sake of someone else’s. I hadn’t been happy for a long time, but ending a long-term relationship is scary. We had the same fights over and over again, and he’d always end up gaslighting me so that I ended up apologizing while nothing changed. Mostly over issues of cleaning, which is really dumb, but I resented him so much, it totally poisoned everything else. If you’re ending it for valuable reasons, explain them until the other understands. Be clear and steadfast. I wanted to leave immediately, and thought he would be too once I said I wanted out. But he ended up needing to talk it out for three days, and even helped me move my stuff out of our apartment so he could achieve some closure.”