19. I ask them how their mother would feel if she heard them talking that way.
“I’m a big fan of saying, ‘how would your mother feel if she heard you talking/acting like that?”‘ It usually shuts them up because they realize their mother wouldn’t be proud.”
20. I told him I’d never be able to have children.
“This is so ridiculous, but I told him a doctor had said I would never be able to have children. It worked and he finally left me alone. Things were a bit awkward when I ran into him years later with my two kids.”
21. We got a Mormon guy to pretend he was our husband.
“In high school while on a choir trip to the beach there were about ten of us sunbathing in our suits. We happened to be perched up near the top of a small hill of sand, and we noticed a total middle-aged creeper who kept walking back and forth slightly below us along the hill, glancing often at us in a way that there really was no question what he was thinking about. Not just sneaking peeks but lingering, creepy watching. He pretended to be collecting shells in the sand, but it was clearly a ruse. Luckily one of our male friends was hanging out with us (lucky guy) who happens to be Mormon with a great sense of humor. We pointed this guy out to him and he says, ‘Girls, I’ll take care of him!’ He walks over to the guy and says, ‘Excuse me, but I’m Mormon and these are all my wives and you are making them uncomfortable! Please leave us alone!’ Dude’s eyes widen and he promptly disappears. Didn’t even question the idea that polygamist Mormon wives would be sunbathing in bikinis on a public beach. Other times, I have talked to guys I don’t want attention from in Russian. I am by no means anywhere near fluent, but just a couple garbled sentences and they give that deer-in-the-headlight look and move on.”