1. The ol’ fashioned way—I walked in on my parents.
“The ol’ fashioned way—I walked in on my parents. They were never the type to directly lie to me, so I got the whole story the next day, when I regained my composure and asked about it.
God, hard to believe that happened so long ago. Don’t think I can even remember behind that day.”
2. My mom decided to tell me about hand jobs—at the beginning of a 3-hour car trip, just the two of us, no escape.
“I remember being trapped in embarrassing situations and having excruciatingly embarrassing conversations with my mother. The most memorable was the time she decided to tell me about hand jobs—at the beginning of a 3-hour car trip, just the two of us, no escape. It was all framed in a positive and feminist way, she was telling me about safer alternatives to PIV intercourse, etc. But still uncomfortable.
Interestingly enough, she has a totally different perspective. I recently asked her about explaining sex to me (because I’m starting to have these conversations with my son) and she said, ‘Oh my god! I HAD to tell you, you started asking questions at age 3! Pointing to your labia and saying ‘what’s this, Mama, what’s this?’ and asking about where babies come from! I ended up explaining periods and everything to you before you even started kindergarten!’
So I think I must not remember the earliest ones, only the junior-high age conversations in which everything out of a parent’s mouth is necessarily the most embarrassing thing ever. Also I’m kind of proud of my 3-year-old self.”
3. I cried for a long time.
“I was twelve. I’d heard of it before that, but in my head, it was just some vague thing that not many people did, and I wasn’t aware until then that it was the way children were produced. When I found out how it worked, I was so freaked out over the fact that someday I might have to do this, and I cried for a long time.”
4. My Dad did the whole condom-on-the-banana thing. Geez. Thanks, Dad.
“I learned about sex from my dad. You’d think my mom would have given me the talk, but apparently she couldn’t handle it and my dad stepped in. He was kind of hilarious, thinking back on it now. Like, he went wayyyy to far. Did the whole condom-on-the-banana thing. Geez. Thanks, Dad…I guess it was good that he was thorough!”
5. Mister, those two monkeys are killing each other!
“Monkeys at the zoo taught me everything I know.
Me: ‘Mister, those two monkeys are killing each other!’
Zoo Worker: whispers* ‘They’re having sex ‘*
Me: ‘Oh…’ o.o”
6. The penis goes INSIDE the vagina! EEEEEWWWWWW!
“When I was little and I asked ‘where babies come from’, my mom always told me it was a ‘special cuddle.’ Kinda cute, really.
I got my period when I was in 6th grade, my mom took me to a ‘Mothers & Daughters’ seminar thing where they talked about periods and boobs and all that stuff, and then on the way back my mom said something—I’m not sure what, exactly—that led to my final realization: the penis goes INSIDE the vagina! EEEEEWWWWWW! (I thought it was absolutely DISGUSTING. I have since…made peace with the idea, I think it is safe to say.)
I think I figured out most everything else on my own through the Internet and stuff. The only hiccup was that nobody told me anything about the clitoris. The first time I saw mine, I thought I had a little tiny penis! I was revolted and thought I’d been born some kind of hermaphrodite and my parents had never told me.”
7. People want to do that? It sounds painful and sticky.
“I’ve known sorta where babies come from since I was really young and have practically always known that I never wanted kids. As I got older and my mom sorta explained it I was just kinda, ‘Meh’ and didn’t really pay much attention. Now really thinking about it and knowing what it basically entails. It sounds gross and really unappealing. All I can think now is, ‘People want to do that? It sounds painful and sticky.’ I never really touched a condom until a few weeks ago when my college was giving them out. I didn’t open it but I all I could think was ‘Ewwwwwww! It’s squishy!’ and I ‘left’ it on a table I knew people sit at all the time. Now I know for pretty much I fact that I don’t want it for multiple reasons no matter how many people apparently don’t believe me.”
8. The boy sticks his peepee in the girl’s thingy and white stuff comes out.
“I’ve always been into animals/nature, and I had started a Nature Club, and so I don’t know how old I was (probably like 6 or 7) and we (me and a bunch of the other neighborhood kids) had made a fort out of old bed sheets in the yard with a special time out section (my idea, ha-ha) and if you did something to offend nature you had to go in time out. Well, my cousin was over, and we went to the park. We spit in the river and so we were sent to time out. I didn’t know that was bad, and felt quite ashamed of myself, lmao!
While everyone else explored the creek behind our house, my cousin and I sat in the fort and she asked me if I know where babies come from. I said no, and she told me that she could tell me but I couldn’t tell anyone. I promised, and she told me that the boy sticks his peepee in the girl’s thingy and white stuff comes out. Then the white stuff makes a baby inside the girl. I didn’t believe her and was quite offended that she would tell such a crazy lie, but I couldn’t call her bluff because I promised. Haha, good times xD.”
9. Stephen King taught me more about sex than my parents ever would.
“I remember this one well actually—I was in the 3rd grade, and I was reading the book Cujo at the time. And there’s a scene in it, when the husband is yelling over the phone at a police officer who is describing the husband’s bedroom to him (since I believe the husband was away at the time, and his wife was having an affair).
Anyways, there’s a point where the husband just gets angrier and angrier until he yells over the phone (much to the horror of his friend just standing nearby) something to the effect of ‘Goddammit! How can you be so calm when telling me there’s another man’s CUM all over my bed!’
And I remember being confused as a child, because they misspelled ‘come’—I was thinking the man arrived at the bed, and I was trying to figure out the context of why a man having an affair would come to the bed when the police was there.
Finally, the thought struck me to go check an encyclopedia, and I couldn’t find it. So I did the dictionary—and BOY did that open up my eyes to a whole bunch of other stuff to look up!
Interestingly enough, there was a sex scene earlier in the book, and it never fazed me, because I understood the mechanics of sex, but only in an ‘insert A into slot B’ sort of way that you get from the encyclopedia when looking up fertilization. It never struck me that stuff came OUT of a guy when you were doing that stuff.
So yeah, Stephen King taught me more about sex than my parents ever would.”
10. Black garbage back filled with Penthouse and Hustler.
“Woods Porn. Black garbage bag filled with Penthouse and Hustler. I got the gist of how everything worked.”
11. I was shown a diagram of a vagina from one of my classmates, and was told that that was the only time I would ever see one.
“Lessee…was taught about the stork until I was brought in, along with the rest of the males of my age group, to watch a sex education video. At the time, it was one of the funniest things I’d ever watched.
Don’t know when I later discussed it with my mother, bur I eventually learned from her & the required health courses—in which I was shown a diagram of a vagina from one of my classmates, and was told that that was the only time I would ever see one. Stupids never thought ’bout the ‘Net…MUAHAHAHAHA…*cries*”
12. I was pretty disturbed by the thought that otherwise sane and rational people would voluntarily do such a disgusting thing.
“I don’t think I learned about sex until I was eleven or twelve, in my first proper sex-ed class (there was one when I was nine but I think we only learned about periods, so I had a vague idea that uteri were somehow involved but nothing else). This isn’t because my parents refused to talk about it but because I just never asked. Anyway, I was pretty disturbed by the thought that otherwise sane and rational people would voluntarily do such a disgusting thing, and decided that it must be something that happened by accident if two people slept in the same bed. However, I couldn’t figure out what happened to the underwear—so I asked my mother and she told me ‘they take it off, duh’ and shattered my illusions of accidental sleep sex. ;_;”
13. Why does a girl’s butt go back and forth when she walks?
“My parents first started telling me stuff when I was like 7 or 8. They would only answer what I would ask, though. When I was 11, me and my mom were in the car driving and I noticed a girl walking down the street. I stared at her ass, and looked at my mom and asked. ‘Why does a girl’s butt go back and forth when she walks?’ She blinked, then her eyes went wide, and she said, ‘Well, it’s because girls are made different than boys; their hips are made differently so they can have babies.’ I said ‘Oh OK, why does it look good to me then?’ Her eyes went really wide then lol, and her mouth dropped open a little bit, and then said, ‘Um, because you’re male and you like to look at that kind of stuff.’ I said ‘Oh OK,’ and went on with what I was doing lol. After that my parents got those ‘our bodies are changing’ books from the library, the male and female one lol.”
14. I knew about the doggies and the bitches from an early age.
“Well, I knew about the doggies and the bitches from an early age, as well as about the stallions and the mares (there used to be a military depot with stallions in my home town), the donkeys and she-donkeys, the…you get the picture…since a pretty early age. I also knew by age 5 that promised babies don’t always make it out in a single, hale piece. I do know I actively avoided thinking about the actual details of how it got done in our species until pretty much the time I got my period, though.
In 5th grade we got a mega-comprehensive sex-ed class which included such things as the advantages and disadvantages of different anti-baby methods. Some parents were outraged, sadly, including mine…”
15. My grandmother told me, ‘Men only want one thing and you should tell them no until you’re married.’
“Um, I was taught by my Grandmother. She told me, ‘Men only want one thing and you should tell them no until you’re married.’ That was the basic idea until I met hubby, course we didn’t marry before but. I am going to teach my kids by publishing my blog. When they turn 16, they will get a copy of the Piss, Puke and Poop Chronicles and hopefully, this will detour them for at least a few years. I want them to know, first hand experience what raising kids are like. What better way to learn than with a true daily chronicle?”
16. We used to sneak Playboys to our tree fort and look at them together.
“I remember so clearly, from a Playboy seeing a photo of a man and woman, nude standing up, but pelvis to pelvis.
We used to sneak Playboys to our tree fort and look at them together, so when we saw this assumed that was how people did it, and it made sense cause as a guy, our equipment sticks straight out from our body so we figured if that was the way you did it then the girl’s equipment could be accessed the same way: straight on.
Imagine my surprise a few years later when I actually got ahold of a live one, and upon putting my hand where I thought everything should be finding nothing?
I had to keep reaching lower, and I recall thinking, ‘what’s it doing way down here?’”
17. I knew everything, including double penetration and shit at the age of 9.
“My parents are both doctors…and my dad is a sexopathologist:)
When I was a kid, I had an access to my dad’s extensive library and whenever I was home alone, I used to like sneaking into under his desk and watch the pictures of different poses and it would get me extremely wet. Well, then I had no idea what the heck was happening to me, but I loved the feeling. Then, I once found in my parents’ bedroom a novel where every detail was described in details. Man, I reread that book like 8 times. I knew everything, including double penetration and shit at the age of 9.
I was a very advanced kid.”
18. For many years, I thought sperm might contain dry nutty bits, like cereal.
“When I heard Sir Alec Guinness had taught Emma Thompson the facts of life, I was inflamed by jealousy.
Why couldn’t a member of the acting aristocracy have introduced me to the rudimental aspects of sex? Preferably someone like Judi Dench, followed up some years later by a practical demonstration with Johnny Depp.
No such luck. My gathering of the facts was random and sporadic. Like a sex magpie, I gleaned bits of information from all sorts of unreliable sources including a girl in the playground who had older brothers and so ‘knew everything.’
This eight-year-old sex guru took up position by the swings and imparted all sorts of nonsense about seeds going through your knickers. For many years, I thought sperm might contain dry nutty bits, like cereal.
I resorted to pretending to be a lot more worldly-wise than I actually was, sneering at the uninitiated: ‘Of course I knew where babies came from—seeds and eggs and tummies.’ It sounded very much like baking.
Then, aged 10, the children at my school went through a massive ‘show and tell’ craze which involved standing in a church crypt and showing your bottom to curious bystanders.
However, after a few weeks of standing around with my knickers at my ankles, I realized all the bottom flashers were girls and all the onlookers were boys.
So, I learnt nothing from this exercise. I already knew what a girl’s bottom looked like—after all, I had one of my own.
By the time I got to my all-girls grammar secondary school, I’d read all the rude bits in Harold Robbins’ book The Carpetbaggers many times over and was ready for some straightforward biological facts.
Unfortunately our Health and Hygiene Mistress, the aptly named Miss Tite, was so virginal in her approach to all things sexual that she developed a stammer over the word ‘periods’.
But when we were about 15, we had a bit of a shock. We were shown a film about gonorrhea and another shocker titled To Janet A Son. This gore fest had girls fainting in their droves.
But it did the trick. No one in my grade at school got pregnant.”
19. I was like, OK, that looks sick.
“I was maybe 9 or 10 and we were getting those little talks at school about it. I went home got the encyclopedia out and read about it. I found those pictures of the human body and looked at both male and female parts and was like, OK, that looks sick. I was like, no thanks, not for me. My mom was telling my sister who was 12 at the time and wanted to know and I just had to run out of the room going no no no no no.”
20. I was about eleven when I first heard of the concept.
“I was about eleven when I first heard of the concept. It came up in conversation with my friends during recess, and they were surprised I didn’t understand what they were talking about. So one of my…more blunt friends tried to explain it. She was a little inaccurate and vague with her description, though, and I didn’t actually get an accurate description of sex until I was 16…
My reaction? Amazed with myself for not knowing that information until that late in my life. Also pretty squicked. And befuddled about why anyone would ever, ever want to do that. Ever.”
21. I remember being a bit depressed about it.
“I was 9. One day I was playing with my friends, but I got tired so I just sit in the stairs of the apartment of my friend (we were playing in the street), when I saw that there was a little downstairs, I found a porn comic, I started reading it, and my mind was transformed, I remember being a bit depressed about it, I felt changed and I didn’t like it; I couldn’t take the images out of my head.”
22. It was a mix of confusion, a little bit of ‘ew, no way’ and curiosity.
“I was probably somewhere between 12-13, I have been masturbating since I was 10 but I had no clue what I was actually doing just that it felt good and I liked it. I remember coming to class one day and the teacher announces that we will be learning something called ‘family life’ and gave us permission slips for our parents to sign. I didn’t know why they called it that or why it required parent permission slips but figured I would find out soon enough anyway. When I did find out it was a mix of confusion, a little bit of ‘ew, no way’ and curiosity. I also had some talks with my parents as well since certain aspects of my curiosity sometimes got me into trouble so some of those talks were very very awkward. By 7th grade I became close friends with someone who knew a lot more about this stuff than I did and was a huge perv so he had a bit of a ‘bad’ influence on me so I ended up becoming even more pervy than him.”
23. I was 13. I read through every anatomy book my parents had.
“I’m always amazed by how young most people are when they learn about sex. Me? It wasn’t until I was 14-ish.
My parents never told me anything about sex. In fact, they went out of their way to make sure that I knew it was a subject ‘off limits’ that I shouldn’t be getting into. If there was an innuendo on TV, they’d change the channel. If there was a sex scene in a movie, they’d fast-forward it so that I wouldn’t see it. I didn’t have Internet access until I was 14 specifically so that I could not ‘look at things I’m not supposed to.’ And when I inevitably did just that, I got in big trouble for it. But that was the final stage of a long and painful process.
I grew up knowing that most of my classmates knew more about ‘bad’ things than I did. I grew up thinking that whatever sex was, it was an inappropriate topic that I should never ever speak of. As a result, I never talked to my parents or even my friends about sex. Even though I wanted to, I couldn’t, as I thought it was something really bad.
What didn’t help was that at school, sex education consisted of little more than ‘sexually transmitted diseases are transmitted sexually, so don’t have sex.’ Not knowing what a sex was, I knew it was something really really terrible that only a man and a woman in a relationship could have. That was about it. All the preaching just made me stop wondering about it, because it was this terrible, terrible thing. Or so I believed.
Not long after, though, I started to piece things together and figure out what sex was. I knew it had something to do with boyfriends and girlfriends, but only when I started to question female anatomy did I even begin to understand.
When I was 13, I knew that there were obvious anatomical differences between sexes. One morning, when I was home alone, I went into my parents’ library and tried to find one of their medical books. I knew that sex was bad, but I didn’t want to know about sex. I wanted to know about female anatomy. Knowing it was something I probably shouldn’t see, I hid the book in my room and locked the door. Then I turned the pages until I found what I was looking for.
I found so much information. That was when I learned what sex was, as well as how a girl could get pregnant (before, I thought women only needed to make a conscious decision to have a baby). Then it all made sense, and I realized that was how infections could be transmitted.
That year, I was 13. I read through every anatomy book my parents had. The following year was when I got Internet access for the first time. It didn’t take long for me to use the Internet to acquire more information. I would spend hours a day not even looking at porn, but informative sites like Wikipedia.
My parents used my computer and found out what I was doing that same week, and instead of being helpful and telling me about what I wanted to know, they threatened me never to do it again. I was terribly embarrassed, and I convinced myself that my obsession with sex was unhealthy and unnatural. I thought I had a problem for the next few years.
Then I realized that everyone likes sex. To be asexual is pretty atypical. I realized that my parents weren’t perfect, and hiding sex from me was probably one of the greatest mistakes they made. I came to the realization that this whole discovery was something that almost everyone goes through, and I really had nothing to worry about.
I’m now much more open about sex than most people are, and I no longer see it as being a bad thing. As I said before, like anything, sex only carries the meaning you arbitrarily assign to it.”
24. I was convinced that my parents only had sex twice—once for me and once for my brother.
“I remember it with such detail. I was 6 years old and in the way back of my mom’s station wagon, (you know those old ones that used to face backwards?). I was playing with my Cabbage Patch Kid and I said out loud, ‘I want to have a baby named Molly when I grow up.’ My mom asked casually, ‘Well, do you know how you have a baby?’ I answered assertively, ‘Yeah, when you want one, they just show up in your belly.’ Then my mom’s tone changed and she said, ‘Well, not exactly. When a man and a woman love each other…’
I was thoroughly disgusted, and until very recently, I was convinced that my parents only had sex twice—once for me and once for my brother.”
25. I was 12 or 13 when I found my dad’s ‘Everything you wanted to know about sex’ book in the basement.
“I was 12 or 13 when I found my dad’s ‘Everything you wanted to know about sex’ book in the basement. It read it cover to cover and finally learned the basics of sex.
I recall reading the section about masturbation and wondering what that was. I rubbed my cock just as it described and suddenly thick cum came out. I thought I had peed but it smelled more pungent and was sticky. (I have never had a wet dream.) After that I’d do it every day. First with two hands, rubbing back and forth like I was churning butter. After a while I learned to do it with one hand.
Many complain that that book had misleading and incorrect info about homosexuality, but I didn’t realize it at the time.”
26. I looked up naughty words in the dictionary and pieced it all together.
“I got no sex-ed at home or in Catholic. I looked up naughty words in the dictionary and pieced it all together. I found my dad’s porn mags in the basement, which horrified me. I learned a lot from the erotic stories, though! Later found videotape in his VCR which was black chicks with white guys. I guess my dad had a secret fetish!
When I was about 16 my parents started to say adult jokes around me; where they thought I learned the birds and the bees I don’t know.”
27. The magazines were very graphic. I was only about 6-7 years old.
“In the 1970s as a kid, my brother, who was older than me, was friends with two brothers who had a porn addict father. That guy had all kinds of porn in his work shed out back. The brothers would take several of the magazines to show to me and my brother. They said their father had so many, he never knew that they took some. The magazines were very graphic. I was only about 6-7 years old. Of course I was appalled at that age. But I saw every position imaginable in these magazines and my brother and his friends would talk about it.
Side story: The wife of the porn addict divorced him because he spent all his time jacking to porn. There was a rapist in that area of town who spent years terrorizing the city, and she suspected it was her husband since some of his porn mags had rape fantasies. She was wrong, but it ruined their marriage. After the divorce, the brothers moved away to another city with their mother and we saw far less porn after that.
My friend and I actually discovered who the rapist was. I was staying over at a friend’s house and we decided to sneak outside after his parents went to sleep. We were only 10 years old. We were in the woods near a path that bordered a field on one side and a residential area on the other. We were right in between both in the woods. We heard a scream and were scared shitless. We started to sneak toward the area where we heard the scream and we saw a nurse run out of the path from the woods which emerged onto the residential street and she was yelling help. Right near us headed toward the field I saw the rapist, and he was the son of some elderly neighbors of ours. I heard him say, ‘Shit!’ and then he took off across the field. Neither one of them saw us. We were so scared we couldn’t even move.
My friend and I agonized for days about what to do. Being 10-year-olds, we were worried about getting in trouble for sneaking out. Then we decided to anonymously report the address of the rapist. I called the police from a pay phone (remember those?) and reported it quickly, then hung up. I watched for days and the police finally showed up at the house. I guess the elderly mother lied and said the son was home. The local cops, who were incompetent, never followed up. They never caught him. About 2-3 years later (and a couple other reported rapes or rape attempts later), the parents died and the son disappeared. We never found out what happened to him, but the rapes stopped after he left town. I still get chills to this day thinking about that.”
28. I was 7. I found my parents’ porn stash.
“I was 7. I found my parents’ porn stash. I learned the ‘educational’ stuff about it in school when I was 8 or 9. I’m 26 now and to this day my mother has NEVER discussed sex with me.”
29. I think I was kinda grossed out.
“Second or third grade health class, I guess I was 7 or 8…that destroyed my belief in the stork. I think I was kinda grossed out…I have three older brothers, so mommy and daddy would have had to have done it at least 4 times. :P Fifth grade the school nurse met all the girls in a gathering and explained periods, and masturbation and all that.
All pretty weird, my parents never did have ‘The Talk’ with me, learned it all from school, and then TV.”
30. I’d always had a sneaking suspicion that the Romper Room lady was banging whoever it was in the bumblebee costume.
“I don’t really recall when it was, or even who told me. But I’d always had a sneaking suspicion that the Romper Room lady was banging whoever it was in the bumblebee costume.”
31. At 12 I stole my mom’s university library card and read everything they had by the Marquis de Sade.
“Hmm. When I was about 11 I’d go to the library and read books about sex. Boring educational stuff that was so titillating (I remember clearly). My mom gave me Our Bodies, Ourselves and some other books in that style. I paid rapt attention to sex scenes in novels and movies; thought about the ways boys and music made me feel. I remember clear as day the moment that my crushes stopped being ‘I want to kiss that boy and play doctor’ but ‘I want to be penetrated by him.’ It was an absolutely different and new desire and shocked the hell out of me. At 12 I stole my mom’s university library card and read everything they had by the Marquis de Sade. (That reminds me: I want to ask her if she knew!)
I started having sex at 13 (well, statutory rape started at 13, if we want to be strict about it). That taught me a lot about what boys like but very little about what I did; while I always enjoyed sex, it was extremely frustrating for pretty much the next decade. I was too insecure to not perform ‘porn star-y, down-for-anything, teenage blonde girl’—too insecure to challenge the idea that sex was about a guy’s dick, full stop, and my desires (and my getting off) were nice accompaniments maybe, but absolutely peripheral to the main show.
Also, body issues. I think this is a central thing in the way many MANY girls’ sexuality develops. Not only are we dealing with being objects and not subjects in sexual encounters, we’re dealing with the pressure to be perfectly beautiful objects while experiencing an adolescent’s legendary insecurity and self-consciousness. And we’re being objectified, catcalled, sexually harassed, and (God forbid) sexually assaulted. It’s a pretty potent mix.
In my late teens/early 20s my adult confidence started kicking in, and I started paying attention to what I wanted. And internalizing my good qualities, believing in them, and realizing that the fact that so many men wanted me meant that I could be demanding and picky. That changed everything, and sex started being awesome.
Of course it’s more complex than that and there have been a zillion detours, but that’s the general early trajectory.”
32. He demonstrated his own two hands (one is the male and one is the woman). And put ’em together.
“Back on elementary. I had this friend whose just so weird for me. He always talks about things I don’t understand (sex)…He says something about male’s sexual organ (didn’t know what this is) and of course the girl’s sexual organs!!!
Then he asked me how I was created. I couldn’t answer. But like every good boy would say, I said, ‘God did’…He laughs at me and he covered the whole story. He demonstrated his own two hands (one is the male and one is the woman). And put ’em together. Yeah, I was an idiot…”
33. Walked In On My Cousin When I Was 9
“Walked In On My Cousin When I Was 9 The Whole Thing Got Explained To Me There And Then.”
34. My 2 dogs that were both males started to hump and I asked my cousin what they were doing.
“When my 2 dogs that were both males started to hump and I asked my cousin what they were doing.”
35. I remember the first time my best friend explained the actual mechanics of having sex I told her she was stupid and called her a liar.
“I guess I learned about sex by piecing together what I had seen on TV and what I had heard from my friends. I remember the first time my best friend explained the actual mechanics of having sex I told her she was stupid and called her a liar. I guess when you’re 10 you don’t really see the attraction in it. Back then boys were still grody.”
36. A ‘little chat among men.’
“I asked Dad about lyrics of a song I heard on his player, and it prompted him to call eldest brother, me and younger brother together for a ‘little chat among men.’ He even sketched to illustrate some of his explanations. Thy name is embarrassment. I can’t remember which song was, but it was released the year I was 8.”
37. I was sitting and I was trying to calm down and hoped that I didn’t really see what I thought I saw. It was SCARY!!!
“When I was in kindergarten, one day we had a substitute and she was supposed to show us a movie and she did, but not about Barney or the Flintstones, but about how babies are made. Most of the kids were asleep but I wasn’t so lucky. She didn’t realize it until we were halfway through the movie. after she figured out what happened, the principal came and she got ‘fired.’ later, we heard that she went to the place where she got the movie and all they said was, ‘We’re sorry miss, we seem to have misplaced the disc and put in the wrong one’ and he was smiling while he said that. And the teacher started yelling ‘I showed this to 4 1/2 year-old kids, and got fired because of it.’ And then she stormed out of the store.
Back in the classroom, I was sitting and I was trying to calm down and hoped that I didn’t really see what I thought I saw. It was SCARY!!! They should NOT allow these kinds of movies in a store.
My mom told me what the teacher said the year after the incident.”
38. When I was around 5 years old, I read a book called How Life Begins that I found in my school library.
“When I was around 5 years old, I read a book called How Life Begins that I found in my school library. I don’t think the nuns were aware of how detailed the explanations were and how much the pretty pictures would appeal to a five-year-old.”
39. By the next afternoon I was watching soft porn. Oops!
“In fourth grade someone challenged me, taunting, ‘I bet you don’t even know what making out is.’ So that evening, I Googled it, and by the next afternoon I was watching soft porn. Oops!”
40. I was about 10 and used to stay up late just to watch Talk Sex with Sue Johanson.
“Exposure from movies as far back as I can remember, but I didn’t fully grasp the concept until I was about 10 and used to stay up late just to watch Talk Sex with Sue Johanson. I thank the Oxygen channel for that show!”
41. I naturally assumed the male ‘trips a wire’ within the female to start the process of pregnancy.
“When I was in grade 5 my friends told me about the penetration part but not the semen release part, so I naturally assumed the male ‘trips a wire’ within the female to start the process of pregnancy. Needless to say, I was always good at electronics.”
42. I learned about sex in the boys’ locker room.
“I learned about sex in the boys’ locker room. I was kind of a nerdy kid, especially in middle school, but I ran track. Our high school and middle school were right beside one another and all the track meets and practices would happen at the high school since the middle school didn’t have a proper football field. In sixth grade, after tryouts, I left something in the locker room and had to go back and get it. Some older guys were there getting ready for their practice. They didn’t see me come in and I tried to be really quiet. One of the guys was talking about this girl he went on a date with and the other guys asked him, ‘Did you do it?’ ‘Have sex?’ he said. ‘No dude, she’s a virgin. But next time…’ The other guys laughed and I snuck back out. I guess I had heard about it before in school, but I hadn’t heard anyone talk about it in real life. After that, I couldn’t stop thinking about it, but I was still too young to really understand.”
43. The teacher was forced to give a very technical answer
“I learned about sex in 4th grade. I think they were just supposed to tell us about female reproduction systems and getting our periods (they split up the girls and the boys), but inevitably this loud girl yells out, ‘What about sex?’ And some people giggle and some are totally silent and look confused and I’m just embarrassed because I think I know what it means but I’m not entirely sure and I feel like it’s bad. So the teacher was forced to give a very technical answer and that’s how I learned what exactly sex meant.”
44. I’ll never forget sitting at the little table eating my butter pecan ice cream with caramel syrup on top and experiencing every single emotion ever.
“I found out about sex from my older sister. My mom is incredibly prudish and she just couldn’t handle having the big convo with me. My sister, Kendall, was on the phone with her boyfriend one night, flirting with him, and when she hung up she could tell I had heard what all she said.
The next day Kendall took me to my favorite ice cream place and told me she wanted to have a special sister talk. She proceeded to tell me all about sex. I’ll never forget sitting at the little table eating my butter pecan ice cream with caramel syrup on top and experiencing every single emotion ever. I went from embarrassed, to curious, to intrigued, to excited.
I didn’t really ask too many questions other than just one…Had she had sex? She told me yes, and I instantly gained tons of respect for her because she opened up and trusted me with such private information.
Kendall later told me that my mom asked her to talk to me and she was just waiting for the right moment. My mom is a great mom, but she just couldn’t talk to me about sex. I’m not mad at her or anything, she’s always been the quiet, shy, timid type person so it would be totally out of character for her to talk about sex.
Kendall told me that I could tell her anything and we became a lot closer after than afternoon at the ice cream place. It’s like I grew up that day and walked out a different woman. I felt more mature, smarter, and happier that I know knew what I always wondered about.”
45. I was super grossed-out but also informed.
“I learned about sex from a book—some early 90’s version of How Babies Are Made. It had friendly cartoon drawings and lots of anatomical words. My mom had bought the book without telling my dad—she’d heard that a good way to teach a child about sex was to just a buy a book and leave it in their bedroom. Then if the child was curious, they’d take a look and ask you to read it to them.
Fast-forward to one night when my dad asked me to pick a book for bedtime reading. I found a book I had never seen before and decided we should try that one—it was, of course, How Babies Are Made. My poor unsuspecting father read the book carefully. He told me later that he was trying to read it very casually, figuring he shouldn’t make any of it a big deal. He said when he finished the book and told me goodnight, I was frozen in the bed with eyes like saucers. It blew my mind. About an hour later of tossing and turning in bed, I walked downstairs and said that I had a few questions. My dad and I spent the next few hours talking about sex—he answered every question I had. At the end of it all, I was super grossed-out but also informed. I’ve always been grateful that both of my parents made it easy for me to go to them with questions about sex—they never, ever made me feel like it was something we couldn’t talk about, which I have always appreciated and would want to do one day if I ever have children of my own.”
46. I didn’t totally get ‘it’ or what a penis looks like until I actually went through heterosexual lovemaking.
“I never got a ‘proper’ sex talk really. My mom is a straight Christian all the way, so all the sex talks I got were about ‘remaining pure’ and ‘saving it for marriage.’ She never got into the nitty-gritty of sex; she had diagrams of course, but she never let me look at them. I didn’t even know what a vagina really looked like until, after being inspired by The Vagina Monologues, I decided to look at my own, quite amazing. I never got much in school, a little about diseases and condoms, etc. Honestly, my ma blocked a lot of my curiosity, I would buy anatomy books, for artistic learning, and she would take them and white-out all ‘inappropriate areas.’ I learned mostly from my friends and personal research, but to be honest, I didn’t totally get ‘it’ or what a penis looks like until I actually went through heterosexual lovemaking.”
47. My parents are extremely conservative and refuse to mention ‘the deed,’ so the Internet has taught me sex-ed.
“Surprisingly, fan fiction. The first time I read anything about sex, it was on the good ol’ classic Fanfiction.net. I can’t remember exactly what fandom, though, either Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings. I think I was 11 or so. My parents are extremely conservative and refuse to mention ‘the deed,’ so the Internet has taught me sex-ed. Thankfully there have been wonderful feminist and body-positive sites out there to help me along.
Well, that and porn, but that’s another note entirely.”
48. My mom and I have a ridiculously open relationship when it comes to sex.
“My mom and I have a ridiculously open relationship when it comes to sex. She taught me herself, because she knew that I wasn’t going to learn about protection or anything in school (Catholic school…) I was told that if I was going to have sex, then I should know everything that I needed to protect myself. It still gets a little awkward when she finds condoms and all, but she is proud I know enough to protect myself. I never learned in school, so I count myself lucky to be able to confide in her with this kind of thing.”
49. I became interested in the Internet, and suddenly there were a whole lot of answers to questions I didn’t even knew I had.
“I first got the whole story about sex when I was about 8 or 9. I was (and still am) a television watcher, and I could figure out almost everything except what the commercials for maxi pads, tampons, and ‘Summer’s Eve’ were about. So I asked my mom. She shined me on for a while, probably because I would wait and ask in front of company. But then one afternoon when I asked, she sat me down and told me about my reproductive system, having a period, and PIV sex. It all made an enormous amount of sense to me.
Later, I would ask about different aspects (does it hurt? what is oral sex? etc.). What was interesting is that I tended to ask these things in front of my dad, who was very uncomfortable with the whole thing. But I think I wanted his perspective, too. But he normally just left it to my mom to answer.
But then I became interested in the Internet, and suddenly there were a whole lot of answers to questions I didn’t even knew I had. O.O!”
50. Some kids are made from having a mommy and daddy, but I was made by my mom picking out a sperm donor.
“My mommies sat me down while I was catching fireflies and explained sperm and eggs and how some kids are made from having a mommy and daddy, but I was made by my mom picking out a sperm donor. Which I thought was cool, but not as cool as fireflies.
I didn’t think about it again until my mom frantically called me and said, ‘Mommy accidentally recorded a show instead of a movie on TV and it’s in the VCR. Don’t watch that show!’ that show, of course, was HBO’s Real Sex. This may or may not have been the first time I had an orgasm…Just sayin’.”
51. The teacher drew a badly drawn diagram of a seedling on the board and she managed to make it resemble a penis.
“I had a late introduction to it because my parents were very hush about it. But at secondary school, the teacher drew a badly drawn diagram of a seedling on the board and she managed to make it resemble a penis. There were barely suppressed sniggers in the class and I asked the girl next to me what everyone’s laughing at and she says, ‘It looks like a willy lol.’ And then we had sex education lessons where they taught us about condoms and the sort, and inevitably the boys made balloons out of the condoms and kicked them round the bus. Ah, fun times.”
52. I was on a family holiday and walked into a room and caught my cousin in the act.
“I was about 11 when I was on a family holiday and walked into a room and caught my cousin in the act.
I asked my rather embarrassed aunt, ‘What’s going on there?’ There certainly were no birds and bees involved.
My aunt didn’t really enlighten me. She used some funny phrase to explain it—something like he was enjoying the big holiday and I asked, ‘When do I get to enjoy the big holiday?’
It was quite confusing. In fairness it was back in the days when there was no Facebook, Twitter, or Google.
I lost my father when I was very young and grew up with my lovely mum.
In fact, I’m still waiting on someone explaining it all so if there is anyone out there who can give me the basic instructions I’d be glad to hear from them. I don’t do diagrams, though.”
53. That seemed like the most icky thing in the world!
“I must have been about 8 or 9. I was a ‘helper’ to the Brownie troop, along with another friend, and the meetings were held in a local church. When we weren’t needed, we’d go into another classroom and play with the chalk and erasers on the blackboard.
Anyhoo, one day, in between games of Hangman, she goes into this long involved explanation about where babies come from. I was nonplussed, to say the least. My mother must have noticed my mopiness later that evening, because she asked me what was wrong. I told her what my friend had told me.
To my horror, my mother confirmed it. That seemed like the most icky thing in the world!
I got over my reservations eventually, to say the least.”
54. Looking for picture books, I discovered a history book of erotic art.
“When I was four years old, I spent an afternoon playing in our sunroom which had wall-to-wall bookcases. Looking for picture books, I discovered a history book of erotic art. I flicked through it, fascinated, and felt unexplainably excited by the pictures. The Japanese section had the most incredible series of antique drawings depicting a penis on legs fighting a vulva on legs in a sumo ‘wrestling ring.’ I was pretty much obsessed with sex from then on, but didn’t give a damn about babies or where they came from. I think I connected those dots a few years later.”