28. Constant unsolicited comments about our appearance
“The amount of unsolicited comments we get on our appearance. I happen to be very, very pale. I can’t count the number of times I’ve had perfect strangers ask me why I don’t tan and tell me I should. I don’t usually wear makeup to work; I stopped doing that because invariably EVERY TIME I forgot or didn’t put it on it would be pointed out to me. I’m a natural blonde. I get told I need to stay a blonde, or that I should/shouldn’t cut my hair because I look so much better with it short/long. YMMV, but I personally have never seen a guy approached for his appearance.”
29. How much time it takes to look pretty
“I think most men are unaware of how much time women spend trying to look pretty. Like all the effort…. holy mother of god. They just really don’t know.”
30. Being constantly eyed like a piece of meat
“That it’s not flattering or a compliment or a confidence boost to be catcalled, and me being nice/polite is not automatically an opening to try to have sex with me. That if we’re jumpy/nervous/dismissive/short it’s not because of you specifically, but that unfortunately our past experiences have taught us to be more cautious than to give the benefit of the doubt.
I’d say I’m fairly average looking and have been followed at night (residential street, big city, tried to be polite and say I wasn’t interested, the guy followed me into the building and would have followed me into my apartment if I didn’t run and lose him at a second locked entrance); have asked for directions at a food stand and then was asked if I didn’t want to wait for the guy to get off work so we could go back to his place; have had a guy step directly in front of me while I was walking, look me up and down, and whistle; was out with my then boyfriend and had a guy ask me if I wanted a drink, said no I was there with my boyfriend (now husband), and he got angry and started saying he couldn’t believe I would go out with ‘someone like that’ over someone like him; been eyed like a piece of meat when I dare to show skin; have been asked why I’m covering up when I’m not showing skin; have been told to smile or ‘I’m paying you a compliment,’ or ‘you don’t say thank you?’… And most girls get the same and worse.
You could be the sweetest, most kind-hearted person with the most sincere of intentions, but because of ^ those douchebags my involuntary response is almost always that of fear and mistrust. I genuinely try to be nice, and guys that are legitimately trying to pay a compliment or go out on a limb I’ll say thank you to or point out that I’m married, but it can still take me a while to get over that initial reaction. The women I know always err on the side of caution, because better safe than sorry. I wish it was a less shitty world where the few don’t make things harder for the (many more) decent guys out there. & to the guys who speak up when they see/hear something, or understand that we’re freaked out and cross the street—thank you.”
31. Always being told we’re ‘overreacting’
“So, it’s stopped, but anytime I had a serious issue with my boyfriend, like he did something that hurt my feelings or I didn’t agree with a decision he was making, I was told I was ‘overreacting.’ I’m not sure how often that term is used with men, but I have NEVER used that word towards my boyfriend and his feelings. It wouldn’t even cross my mind. I may disagree with him, and I may not understand where he’s coming from. But to invalidate his feelings in such a way as saying ‘Oh well you’re just overreacting’ just seems so horrible. When it was a big problem, I had talked to my girlfriends about it and they told me they had had the same issue with their boyfriends. Whether it was current or past. And it makes you feel like ‘Hey, I realize you don’t agree with me, but your feelings don’t matter because it’s just an overreaction. I couldn’t have done anything wrong because I think your point of view is so silly that it just boils down to an overreaction on your part.’
I don’t know how to explain it. It just almost makes me feel like a child when someone blames me being upset about something on ‘overreacting.’ I realize there are times when people overreact with something. But it was literally every disagreement, argument, etc.
Anyways, like I said. Since then he’s stopped using that as a scapegoat because I explained how it affected me. But man, it took an incredibly long time for him to get it.”
32. Looking down and seeing blood on your thighs
“When you look down and see blood on your thighs and just sigh.”
33. That we’re more crude, dirty, gross, and objectifying than boys
“That when a woman and her best girlfriend get together, they are probably more crude, dirty, gross, and objectifying than 15-year-old boys. And they will literally do anything for the other…like pull a used lost condom out of the other’s vagina. (Trust me.)”