39 Things Men Will Just NEVER Understand About Being A Woman
“The overwhelming sensation of relief when removing a bra after a long day of wearing one.”
1. That we’re really total psychos
“My SO thinks I’m a very rational woman, but what he doesn’t know is I’m a total psycho in my head and have to squash those thoughts before they make it out of my mouth.”
2. The overwhelming relief of removing a bra
“The overwhelming sensation of relief when removing a bra after a long day of wearing one.”
3. What it feels like to leak a man’s cum the next day
“We secretly dread day-later-leakage after doing the deed. Vaginas are like vacuums with brains and hold on to cum until they feel like releasing it at the most inopportune moment the next day.”
4. What it feels like to stand up while on your period
”When you’re on your period, and stand up after sitting for a long time, only to feel a massive gush of blood exit your vag. It’s very hard to maintain a nonchalant facial expression when internally you’re thinking ‘MOTHER OF GOD, PLEASE DON’T OVERFLOW BEFORE I CAN FIND A TOILET.’”
5. The familiar jab of your bra wire poking through and trying to kill you
“A minor thing, but almost nothing can ruin your day as fast as that familiar jab of your bra wire poking through and trying to kill you.”
6. Boob sweat
“Boob sweat. Under the boob, between the boob all of that. Even worse when you’re working out and sweating and that one droplet is making its way down and trails through the boob valley and begins the boob sweat puddle.”
7. When your panties get wet after you sneeze
“Panties suddenly wet after a position change or sneeze. WTF just happened am I bleeding? Discharge? Did I pee by accident? Did something turn me on?”
8. The perils of period poops
“Period poops.
Imagine that you’ve been punched in the butthole/balls/stomach a few times, and then try pinching a loaf. Everything hurts, but goddammit it has to come out. And then there’s the horror of wiping. For some reason my poop is less… solid when I’m on my period. So get ready for a red and brown nightmare scenario happening on your toilet paper. My advice: use flushable wet wipes after dry toilet paper for freshness!…Periods are horrific.”
9. Peanut-butter-and-jelly period poops
“The peanut-butter-and-jelly effect of pooping while on your period.”