16. anally regurgitated rib sandwich
“I was at my friend’s place, with maybe fifteen other people drinking, and at that time, the McRib was back. This one guy Rob had brought one with him and devoured it, probably in under 30 seconds. About ten minutes later, he went wide-eyed and began to regurgitate it. In one piece, roughly the same size and shape as the original McRib he had just eaten, but reconstituted out of McRib pulp pasted together with Busch Lite. It landed on his stomach and sat there for a second until someone went ‘…Hey! The McRib is back!’”
17. the first time I ever received pity sex
“In college I was at a huge house party on a Thursday night. My girlfriend claimed to have to study for a tough exam so I rolled out solo while she ‘stayed in.’ This party was pretty rambunctious and wild, with people scattered throughout the 2 floors and a roof/deck.
At one point in the party I notice that the bottom/main floor was emptying out and I hear a lot of noise on the roof. So I head upstairs to see what’s going on and all the guys and girls are hooting, hollering, cheering, etc so I get closer to get a peak at what they are cheering.
Across the street in the 3rd floor of an apartment building, slightly below our line of vision, there is a dude bending this girl over a bar stool type chair with her face near the window. It was dark out but there’s a small amount of background light in the room and because of the lighting of the streetlight we can all see pretty clearly. As I focus in further, I see that it’s my girlfriend getting her back blown out.
In a fit of drunken anger I throw a half can of beer across the street and amazingly hit near the window enough that they both look up and see their audience across the street. Then they both seem to scatter and everyone on the roof cheers loudly, with only 2 or 3 people I know closely realizing that it’s my girlfriend.
I storm downstairs and wait outside the apartment building, until she finally exits 20 minutes later. I doubt she saw me in the crowd on the roof but she quickly found out I saw or at least knew as I cursed her our for 5 minutes and stormed back to the party.
It was pretty awkward at the party when I returned (at least for half of the party who were sober enough to sort of realize what was going on) and proceeded to get drunker. Later that night I was approached by a decent looking girl who saw it all go down. And that kids, was the first time I ever received pity sex.”
18. Girl getting finger-banged by a gay guy on the kitchen table
“Girl getting finger-banged by a gay guy on the kitchen table while everyone was standing around, the weird thing was that no one seemed fazed by it they just saw it and continued on with the party.”