25 Little-Known Facts About Vaginas

1. Fear not—it’s only a hole.

Technically, the “vagina” is a hole surrounded by the rest of the female genitalia, which includes the vaginal muscles, the cervix, the uterus, the labia, and the clitoris. But for the sake of convenience, nearly everyone refers to all of the female genitalia as the “vagina,” so we will, too.

2. That hole is only about 3.5 inches deep.

In its resting state, the vagina is barely large enough to contain your house keys.

3. But that hole can become twice as deep during arousal.

Like the male organ, the vagina can double in size when it’s sexually aroused, enabling it to contain at least two sets of house keys.

4. The clitoris contains about 8,000 nerve endings.

By contrast, the much larger penis head boasts a mere 3,500 nerve endings, although the entire penis contains about 24,000 nerve endings.

5. The word “vagina” comes from a Latin term meaning “sword holder.”

Goddamned patriarchy, making everything about penises—even vaginas.

6. Vaginas share something special with…a shark’s liver?

A compound known as squalane acts as a vaginal lubricant. It is also found in shark livers. (Cue every man in America asking their butcher if they carry shark livers.)

7. The vagina’s pH level is similar to that of beer, wine, and tomatoes.

The average vagina has a pH level of 4, which qualifies as acidic. Sperm has a pH level of 8, which is basic, but you already knew that most guys are basic.

8. Pubic hair is sexual bait.

Some researchers speculate that pubic hair serves as a pheromone trap that lures the unsuspecting mate toward it much like the scent of pancakes grilling on a sunny summer morn.

9. Pubic hair only grows for three weeks.

Whereas the hair on your head can grow for up to seven years, your pubic hair will never get so long that you can lose your iPhone in it.

10. Only a minority of women get vaginal orgasms.

Only about one quarter of women are able to achieve orgasm strictly through intercourse, which is why youse guys need to pay extra attention to her love button.

11. What you eat affects how it smells.

Go easy on the garlic-and-sardines sandwiches and nibble on some pineapple chunks with strawberries instead.

12. Your discharge will change consistency during ovulation.

During ovulation, cervical mucus becomes clear and rubbery, just like your boyfriend’s brain.

13. Unlike your roommates, your vagina cleans itself.

Therefore, there is no need to douche. Actually, douching can throw off your vagina’s delicate bacterial balance and create a tragic situation between your legs. Only a douche would tell you to douche.

14. It can fall out of your body.

OK, it doesn’t fall entirely out and splat onto the floor, but “vaginal prolapse” is a real condition wherein the vagina plops outside of the vulva and hangs down like a sock.

15. The mysterious “G” spot may actually be the underside of the clitoris.

Although debate persists on whether the “G” spot actually exists, some evidence suggests it’s merely a sensitive area connected to the deep underside of your clitoris.

16. Vaginal farts are common.

Nearly all women get them. Take pride rather than shame in this fact. Hell, you can even form a lady’s chorus where you queef in harmony like individual pipes in a pipe organ.

17. Being morally “loose” will not make your vagina loose.

The vagina is elastic like a rubber band, so no matter how many donkey shows you perform in Tijuana, it will snap back to its regular shape after sex.

18. On the flip side, abstinence will not make the vagina grow tighter.

Now you can take even less comfort in being celibate.

19. Unlike sex, childbirth may make you looser.

This is because there’s never been a penis in history that’s as big as a baby.

20. The average vagina produces up to two teaspoons of discharge a day.

But it happens so gradually, it’s almost impossible to collect enough at any given time to stir it into your coffee.

21. Like a face, a vagina may sag with age.

The ravages of time may weaken the female genital tract’s tautness. To avoid this horrid situation, perform Kegel exercises, don’t get fat, and don’t smoke.

22. Most nerve vaginal nerve endings are located in the first inch or two of the vaginal opening.

This is why an extremely thick two-inch penis may provide more pleasure than a string-bean-shaped eight-inch penis.

23. “Lady boners” are real.

The clitoris swells and increases in size during female arousal.

24. The clitoris is much larger than what you can see with the naked eye.

Although the visible part of the clitoris is only an inch or so, the rest of it extends within the body for up to six inches.

25. Orgasm is more likely right before or during menstruation.

This seems sort of reproductively counterintuitive, for it would have made more sense if Lord Jehovah had given women more orgasmic capacity during ovulation, but the Lord works in mysterious ways.