1. “When you ask for our ‘real’ name, we are giving you another fake name. I have like three backups.”
I’ve been a dancer for over 5 years and I’m happily married and have one child. My husband actually makes enough money for me to stay home, but I LOVE dancing and it gets me out of the house.
We aren’t damsels in distress. I’ve met so many men over the years that want to “save” me or take pity on me for being there. I call them “Captain save-a-ho”. I choose to be here; it’s more of a hobby to me than a necessity.
Also, when you ask for our “real” name, we are giving you another fake name. I have like three backups.
I’m not going to sleep with you. In fact, I’m happily married with a family.
It’s just a job. The same as a cashier at Walmart doesn’t define themselves as a cashier, I don’t define myself as a stripper. The same as a cashier bites their tongue and smiles, no matter how rude the customer, so do I. I’m just doing my job to pay the bills.
Strippers are the mothers of invention. We can MacGyver the shit out of whatever we need to. Last night, I helped one of the other girls cut up a T-shirt to use as laces for her shoes because her straps broke.
We pay the club to dance there. That’s why we get irritated with customers that pick a good spot to sit and never tip. We paid out of our pocket to come up here and dance for you, and nobody likes paying out more than they get back.
A lot of people don’t know that most of us really enjoy our jobs. I don’t know where the “sad stripper” trope came from, but this is 2015 and most of us choose whether or not we want to work in the club. There are still pimps and sex slaves, but they are mostly in sketchy areas, not nice clubs, and most of them are prostitutes and street workers, not dancers.
NYC dancer here at a high-end club
*If you are looking for a specific girl in mind, ask the host/doormen. Whether it’s Asian, dominatrices, fetish foot stuff, Russians, blondes…it’s easier to ask them and they will personally find someone for you to sit and talk with. This way, you don’t waste other girls’ time and have a better experience! These hosts have heard and seen everything so don’t be shy.
*We’re girls, we talk. If you are smelly, we tell all the other girls and will avoid you like the plague.
*Every single club and every single dancer has different limits.
*If you’re looking for small talk and a good chat, that’s all good—just don’t let half an hour go by and not tip for our time :)
*If you are looking for conversation and a low-pressure environment, go early (before 8pm). It’s not as hectic and dancers are much more aggressive at later on in the night because we’re like, “Oh shit, I only made $x tonight.”
It’s a job, same as any other job, and we deserve and expect to be treated with respect, like any other job. The amount of people who assume it’s OK to grope you as you’re walking by, shout rude things etc. always astounded me.
Arguably even worse is when you say a friendly “Hello” to someone and he refuses to even look at you or acknowledge your existence. (These guys have normally been dragged in there by friends and don’t really want to be there, but still—I’m a human being. It’s not hard to say hello back.)
Also it’s a very demanding job—physically, emotionally, and mentally.
Adult dancers are no less intelligent/have no more “issues” than your average person. Many of us have degrees and are studying and/or are between jobs.
I got into stripping partly for the money, and partly because I thought it would be an interesting life experience. It was. I have since graduated and now work in drug research. The work I do genuinely helps to save lives. Just adding that in there for the several people who have called me “disgusting” and “scum.”
We have to pay to work. We pay a house fee, and we have to tip the bouncers, the DJ, bartenders, etc. We also get a percentage of our lap dance money taken out and given to the club. We usually get to keep all stage tips, though. Some customers would prefer to tip me onstage because they knew I didn’t get all the lap dance money, but the more lap dances I sold, the better I looked to the owners. Plus, the club needed their cut. I didn’t mind that.
So if you go to the club and don’t spend money, fuck you. We pay to be there, not to be free entertainment for your broke ass.
A lot of us are dramatic and fucked-up, yes. But we are people, too. And as for me, I had addictions and issues before I started dancing, and I can definitely say dancing did not influence that side of me…at least not any more than my previous stint as a waitress did. The other servers at my restaurant job were bigger alcoholics and drug users than most of the dancers I know.
One customer told me he didn’t have to respect me because I was just a stripper, and I shouldn’t expect respect. Fuck you if you think like that. We are not zoo animals or circus freaks (but you should respect those as well!!). We are people who have a job, a job that just so happens to be a job not many others feel comfortable doing.
A lot of us do not agree with in club prostitution. Do what you want outside of the club. But if you’re a dirty extras girl, you ruin it for those of us who play by the rules.
I started dancing when I was 18 to support a drug habit and stopped once the drugs and drinking became too much. If you have/had a substance abuse problem, working in a club is definitely NOT a good idea and will make it a lot worse. There’s drugs in every club, no matter how much a club may say they do not condone it. They say they drug test if they do suspect it, but I’ve only seen that once and I was really young. Many times I’ve seen management take the drugs or throw them away, see them and ignore it or take it and give it back later.
Once I cleaned my act up and stopped all the drugs I was in debt from school loans I needed to make good money. I was bartending and waitressing and it just wasn’t enough so I decided to go back to dancing. I’m 24, single with no kids and I’ve been going to school full time and dancing 4 days a week. I will say I do drink more because of my job than I normally would, but I’m not out of control like I was before.
There’s many types of women in the clubs: single mothers, drug addicts, married women, and I have even seen clubs hire homeless girls. I’ve worked in a club on the lower end, which was where I started, and have been in some really nice ones, now I’m currently at the best one in my city. It’s very busy, a great environment, not a lot of drugs and not a lot of prostitution, which goes on to some degree at every single club. The first place I worked at had a lot of Brazilian women, a few of which were the mother’s of a few friends I had growing up, which was kind of strange. The one woman even used her daughter’s name as her stage name and they were all prostitutes. They paid off every one in the club so they didn’t have to dance and only did their dirt in the back. Now I grew up going to family parties of these women’s kids so it was a little strange to see them like this. I didn’t stay there much longer after my first night.
I’m not one of those annoying dancers who asks every single guy for a dance and I have some standards I stick to. I approach every guy and introduce myself and start some small talk and see how they react to that and if I can tell they’re not interested I won’t bother. I won’t ask for a dance if a guy smells or is too fat. I’m a pretty small girl and it’s very awkward to give someone that’s too big a dance, it just feels and looks silly. Most girls will dance with any guy and some will even do anything for the right price. I say to my customers no sex in the champagne room but that doesn’t go for every girl. I’ve seen it in a lot of clubs, especially the upscale ones. The better the club the better the clientele.
8. “Male stripping isn’t much different from female stripping, minus a bleeding penis every 4 weeks.”
Male stripping isn’t much different from female stripping, minus a bleeding penis every 4 weeks.
We still have to pay our club fees. There’s still massive amounts of other male strippers with a drug problem, mostly cocaine.
The ratio of male-female clientele is about 50-50. (This is all depending on the club you go to/work at.)
There’s a lot more sex in male strip clubs or at least propositions. Hell, even as a bartender I’ve been propositioned before. Had a regular offer me $500 to come over to his house have him make me dinner, get a massage, and then for him to give me a blowjob. Contemplated that for a bit.
Also male dancers almost always have a cock ring on. If you’ve ever tried to keep an erection while dancing and grinding on a pole or talking shit’s annoying. Every now and then we have to go take it off and take a break for a few minutes. Otherwise you’ll be in a lot of pain at the end of your shift.
Still a good gig. I worked out of Atlanta for a while. Made some pretty solid bank there in the summer months.
My gf and I are both dancers. We talk about how different it is for a female strip club and a male strip club. Obviously it varies a lot depending on where you work. All of these responses are 100% accurate from her part. The only difference is that the club she works at has cameras in the back room. If any girl is seen giving “extra favors,” they get fired. For me:
-We don’t make nearly as much as girls do.
-We are not allowed to be fully nude. “No poles or holes.”
-Typically there is much less of an arousal factor for us, at least where I work. We have to come up with costumes and routines to entertain the audience.
-Where I work, we don’t pay to work. That’s probably because we make so little.
My girlfriend averages 1000 a night. I’ll average about 200. I’m a student. She’s a model.