21 Tall People On The Worst Thing About Being Tall
1. You can’t hide in crowds.
You can’t hide in crowds.
2. ”How’s the weather up there?”
“How’s the weather up there?”
Shut the fuck up.
3. It’s like the movie Elf.
Have you ever seen Will Ferrell’s Christmas movie, <em>Elf</em>? Remember that scene where it flashes back to all the shit he’s too big for? Yeah, that’s life.
4. Showerheads are lower than your own head.
Showerheads are all at shoulder height. :|
5. Half of your body sticks out of the bath water.
Not being able to be submerged in a bath. I used to love baths, now half my body is out the water and it’s not even nice. Stuck with showers for now.
6. The possibility of being blinded by umbrellas.
The pointy end of an umbrella held by a "normie" is almost exactly my eye level. Danger.
7. Bad posture.
Bad posture. I always find myself slouching to avoid hitting my head on things and it just kinda becomes natural after a while that I stand with a slightly rounded shoulders.
8. Heart disease, back and neck problems, increased risk of cancer.
Heart disease, back and neck problems, increased risk of cancer, etc.
Short people live longer than tall people for many reasons.
9. You die younger.
Tall people tend to die younger than short people. Also, bad knees and other joints.
10. You can’t be in the front rows at concerts.
At concerts, I’m apparently not allowed to be among the first few rows because I’m blocking the view for other people. (I’ve yet to have a concert without someone complaining about me standing in front of them and I go to plenty of concerts.)
11. Sinks are too low.
Sinks. I absolutely kill myself bending down to wash my hands. And doing dishes? Fuck that. By the time I’m done, I feel like I’m going to be stuck in Quasimodo mode the rest of the day.
12. People can see inside your nostrils.
Having to focus a little more on areas of your body people don’t normally get a good view of, like inside your nostrils.
13. Long legs are a HUGE tall person problem.
Long legs are a HUGE tall person problem. I walk so much faster than everyone just naturally. Walking in front of me? I will awkwardly catch up and pass you. Walking with me? You will eventually end up 50 feet behind me.
14. Air and bus travel are terribly unpleasant.
Air and bus travel are terribly unpleasant. I can barely stand sitting through a two-hour flight. My height is distributed pretty evenly between my legs and torso, and last year I had a flight where my back was pressed into my seat as far as I could go and my knees still rubbed against the seat in front of me.
15. The perils of being 6’3”.
6’3" here.
Fitting in cars, fitting through doors, finding clothes with sleeves long enough that aren’t made for fat people. Finding a bed long enough. (it doesn’t have to be wide, it just has to be long) being so tall it’s borderline awkward.
16. The perils of being 6’4”.
I’m 6’4"…A few weeks ago I was in NYC and had to flag a cab. It was a Prius. It took me five minutes to unfold myself from the back seat. Never again.
17. The perils of being 6’5”.
6’5” here. Getting on a crowded elevator means that everybody stares at you.
18. The perils of being 6’6”.
6’6” here! Here’s some tall problems, some of which might be anyone problems, I dunno.
1.) Standing up too fast and starting to black out, also happens when I stretch, passed right out once.
2.) Clearance, you hit your head on everything, old houses are the worst.
3.) Finding a car you can comfortably drive is sometimes difficult, I fit quite snugly into my Mazda 3 when the seat is all the way back.
4.) Pants. There’s only going to be a couple pairs in every few stores that will fit, you don’t get to be choosy.
5.) If you go for walks with people, they end up speed-walking to match your leisurely stroll.
6.) Bathrooms. Apparently tall people have never once designed a public bathroom, but I could rant about how awful those are in a lot of other ways.
Eh, that’s enough for now.
19. The perils of being 6’7”.
6’7" here
Shit people say:
"Do you play basketball?" No.
"Do you play football?" No.
"You’re tall." No shit.
"I feel so short." Sounds like a personal problem.
"I like tall guys." K.
Disadvantages to being tall:
Clothes fit weird and I have to buy online.
I hit my head on everything.
A compact car for me is a Dodge Intrepid.
My knees hurt like a bitch in theatre seats from prolonged sitting.
My food bill is crazy lol.
I’m grateful for every roller coaster I can ride.
I scare children, even when I gave them sprinkles at my ice cream parlor job.
20. The MANY perils of being 6’9”.
To put things into context I am Male 6’9"(205.7cm) 215lb(97.5kg)
Clothing
* Most stores do not sell pants with an inseam longer that 34 inches. My inseam for fitted clothing is usually 38 inches, and 40 inches for comfortable clothing like jeans.
* My shoe size is a US15, which is out of the range that most stores carry. They are easily ordered online though.
* Shirts do not fit. Shirts that are fitted by standard size (L,XL,2XL,etc…) will never fit right because in order to get a proper sleeve length I need to buy 2XL or larger which is a tent on me. For fitted dress shirts my sleeve length is 39 which it difficult to find. If a store does carry it, it is usually slim pickings.
* Jackets are sold by standard sizes, so they are typically short in the body and sleeves.
* Big and Tall stores are the worst because they are not made for Big OR Tall, it is Big AND Tall. Depending on the pants I am a 36 or 38-inch waist. Pants in my length are often 44+ inch.
* Shorts are always well above the knee.
Indoors
I am currently trying to purchase a home, so this is a sore spot for me.
* Standard doorways are 6’8" so I have to duck under most doorways.
* Light fixtures. I have broken several light fixtures in my own and others’ houses with me head.
* I have been hit it in the head by a ceiling fan, or in the case of my parents’ house, put my arm right into the ceiling fan while putting a shirt on.
* I cannot stand up straight in most basements, and when I can stand up, there are often obstacles such as ductwork, pipes, and support beams.
* I have to slouch or duck to see my face in most bathroom mirrors.
* The toilet is a long ways down for me, I have to be careful of splashing. (yeah…)
* My knees do not fit under most desks or tables, causing me to sit very crooked. On a side note, I often kick who ever is sitting around me.
* My arms are long meaning I take up a lot of elbow space at a table. * If I sit up straight, the table is usually very low which means I hunch over a lot, hunch over my food, and keyboard.
* I cannot see the top shelf of the refrigerator without bending over to look, the freezer gets in the way.
* It is dangerous getting this out of the oven. It is hard to get low enough to not touch the heating element.
* I hate door closers I have hit my head on them many times. I was once offered a free meal at a restaurant because I cut my scalp on one.
* I often accidentally put things down in high places. For example, I will put something on top of the fridge. It is in plain sight for me, but my wife can’t see that high.
* I wear the knees off of pants first by rubbing on the bottom of tables. I have also put my knee in gum a few times from assholes sticking gum to the bottom of tables.
* I have to bend over to do the dishes like a praying mantis…
* I do not fit in my own bed.
* I cannot stand up straight in my showers, and when I can, the showerhead is pointed at my chest.
Transportation
* I do not fit on: buses, planes, or trains. If you are in front of me, and you even attempt to recline your seat, you are in for a bad time.
* I do not fit in the back seat of any car ever.
* I drive a Jeep Grand Cherokee because it is all I fit in. (not because of head room, it is all legs). My wife has a CRV and my thighs hit the steering wheel, and my knees hit the dashboard. I operate the pedals with my toes. I have both accidentally shifted, and turned the car off with my knees before.
* Even as a passenger, my knees will often rest against the glove compartment even with the seat all the way back.
* Bicycles are difficult to ride. My knees get in the way. If the bike is properly fitted I am very top heavy, which makes balance difficult.
* I cannot stand up straight on the subway.
Personal
* I have terrible posture. I am always ducking, hunching, and leaning.
* Most of my lift is spend looking down at like a 30-degree angle.
* I am not very social, and my height is an instant talking point to complete strangers. I never know what to say, and people are never satisfied with simple answers, they always want a life story. "Mind if I ask how tall you are?" (I should mind, but it is the 11th time today…) I am 6’9". "Wow, do you play basket ball". I have played, but no I don’t. "I wish I had some of that height". OK…? I don’t know what else to say but smile and nod.
* Everyone no matter how nice and polite they are stare. I know it is not their fault but goddamn is it uncomfortable. It is probably similar to if you are super attractive and you "light up the room" except people don’t have any shame when they stare. They will stare directly at me, and not break eye contact, and then start commenting and talking amongst themselves about me. I can see your lips and I can hear you.
* I hate hugging people. You are going to get a face full of armpit or collarbone, and I am going to look like an insect having a meal.
* Even simple things like grocery shopping is weird because I have to bend down to reach the shopping card handle, and if I don’t walk funny, my massive stride will kick the shopping cart with each step.
* At least once a trip, someone will ask me to get something off of a high shelf for them. If my wife is with me, they comment on how lucky she is to have me. I would love to once ask a short person to get something off a low shelf for me, but that is somehow rude right?
* I am taller than changing room walls, and bathroom stalls. Awkward right?
* Most urinals are to short, and I have to take care not to piss on the wall.
* I see all your bald spots and down everyone’s shirts. I am sorry.
* Kissing my wife is weird because I have to look straight down, and she as to look straight up.
* My hands are real big, and my fingers are too long so proper typing is a little odd. To put it into perspective, I can easily hit both left and right shift with one hand on a standard keyboard.
* I get light headed if I stand up too fast sometimes.
That is all that I can think of off the top of my head, but if more comes to me, I will update.
21. When you’re 7 feet tall, nobody fucks with you.
I am a 7-footer. Doors are my enemy. Fans are my enemy. Trees are my enemy. At least nobody fucks with me.