14. “Because I am cursed with a roaring libido, and it’s not being satisfied in my relationship. Sometimes it’s just that simple.”
Because I am cursed with a roaring libido, and it’s not being satisfied in my relationship. Sometimes it’s just that simple.
I know this is horrible and completely fucked up–and sorry for giving the secret away, guys–but ladies out there, if you are in a relationship with someone like me, who is asking for sex 2 – 3 times a week and being turned down about 4/5 times, and he hasn’t broken up with you, he is going to cheat at the first chance he gets. Most likely he is actively trying to, too.
My advice to my SO: God damn it, open up and tell me why the spark is gone. It used to be a roaring fire! I could be 100% happy with monogamy were my needs even partially being met…but that’s a shitty thing to say, because that makes it sound like it’s your fault…Anyway, going stream-of-consciousness here: I’ve tried everything obvious. I stay in shape, allow you your space, be romantically and sexually impulsive and adventurous, be close, be distant, but nothing seems to work. I’m totally lost. Something with you isn’t being met, either, but I don’t know what it is, and I would love to know! I am game to rekindle that shit, whatever it takes. Assuming it’s possible. And if it’s not, just say that! Don’t keep saying you’re totally into it with words only. That doesn’t work.
My advice to me: I should leave the relationship, but I love her. Seriously. Worship the ground she walks on. Which seems fucking weird to say, but it’s true. It’s just that my dick is a persuasive and insatiable fella. Which fucking sucks, and, quite frankly, is something I thought I’d have grown out of by now.
Yes, I know I’m a selfish, immature asshole….
I cheated on my ex-husband twice.
I grew up in a crappy family where everyone hates each other, my mother used to bully me for how I look, and I was severely bullied at school. I felt disgusting and unwanted all the time. When I was older I met my ex-husband and I stayed with him because it made sense. I could have a stable life with him after suffering through homelessness previously. He wasn’t physically abusive or anything and I never thought anyone I like would go for someone like me anyways. Life isn’t a fairy tale blah blah blah. I was just trying to be practical.
Unfortunately, he was abusive in other ways. He didn’t build me up and only put me down. Every time I tried to delve into a new hobby he was always very critical of me. He made me feel like a failure that would never be able to accomplish anything. I stayed with him because I thought the alternative would be way worse. He made good money and I pretty much sucked at that point. No way of independently taking care of myself adequately. Every time I tried to improve myself he would break me down again. I felt so lonely and trapped. I suffered a miscarriage and he told me that he didn’t know if he would want to stay with me if I couldn’t have children. I reacted by crying on the floor and his response to that was, “Ugh, why would I want to have children with someone who acts like this?”
So it felt nice when guy number one showed up and made me feel beautiful. Then guy number 2 showed up and it dawned on me that, hey, I could do better. I could be happy. So I got a divorce and couldn’t be happier with my life. I stuck with guy number 2 and he eventually became my husband.