11. “I know it’s wrong, but it doesn’t really feel like we’re hurting anybody. Nobody will probably ever know.”
I’ve been having an affair with a woman for the last eight years, through three long-term relationships including the one I’m in now.
We live in different states and only end up in the same place a couple of times a year, for business trips or other travel. when that happens, we share a hotel room.
No one has ever caught us. She’s getting married, and I may propose to my gf. I imagine we’ll continue our arrangement for the foreseeable future, as it makes us both happy.
I know it’s wrong, but it doesn’t really feel like we’re hurting anybody. Nobody will probably ever know.
I love him, but I’m not in love with him anymore. However, I can’t leave him because he will literally have a mental breakdown if I do. He’s gotten himself into a mindset where I’m the only thing holding his life together. I can’t do that anymore though – it’s exhausting and draining and it’s putting my life on hold.
The first time it happened I told him afterward, because it was so out of place with my personality and I felt horrid. He forgave me instantly. But it keeps happening. This other person listens to me when I talk about my day instead of waiting to speak, and I can actually relax and laugh. My boyfriend knows, I think, but he pretends not to, and continues our routine of him crying on my shoulder about life and me wishing I could leave him without destroying him.
Every relationship I’ve been, excluding my current one (more on that later) I have been unfaithful. The opportunity constantly presented itself because I’m a good-looking, funny guy. The temptation was always present and acted upon just for satisfaction. Always after the fact I was miserable. However time and time again the cycle would repeat. Never did I confess, and usually ended up more than just anxiety post incident. Alcohol also played a very large role, it enabled me to throw caution to the wind. This all changed when I met my current girlfriend and now wife. I took myself out of situations that could lead me to be unfaithful. When we first started dating it was clear she was the one. No one night could ever be worth ruining the rest of our lives. She has made me a better man without forcing me to change.