I haven’t had a relationship where I didn’t cheat. Usually at the beginning of relationships before things get too serious and usually with an ex. Honestly, the “why” is because I have never been caught and I have had only positive outcomes. I have been honest to most of the girls I have been with and cheated on or we were close to an end I would just break up, move on with the new girl. Right now I am in an open relationship so I can be fully honest. But other than cheating I have always went out of my way to do anything for girls I date and treat them like gold. Any one I ever knew would call me a pushover or sucker yet they know how many times I have cheated. In the last 14 years I have only been without a gf for three months and a week combined and only 8 with the girl i am with. I wouldn’t brag that cheating is a good thing but it worked for me.
I currently am cheating.
We have been together 7 years now. It took us a few weeks for a first kiss, a half a year for dry humping and I can’t say sex is fun. She’s amazing when we do it, but we do it once every few months.
I love her, I need her, she’s the only love I know. But she doesn’t provide the physical interaction I need. We are both 24 and libido isn’t an issue for me and her, we are young and everything works, however she shows no interest.
Like I said, I love her but I feel I need to get the physical part somewhere else sometimes.
I don’t cheat anymore, but when I did I was a sex-and-romance addict. Low self-esteem from losing both parents to mental problems is where that came from.
Everyone still hates me from those days. I was surprised when I found out how seriously people take monogamy. I’d never been in the presence of a monogamous relationship that wasn’t between elderly people in my life and thought the whole thing was a myth. I kind of hated the people I was in love with, and in a way doing what I wanted behind their backs made me feel less like a sucker.
Love sucks, but sex is reliably great. Short-term thinking ftw! I was incapable of trust, so being untrustworthy seemed like pragmatism. I don’t know. It was fun. So was slacking. So were drugs. People cultivate “low moral character” for a reason.
When I found out I had a chance at real, lasting love I decided not to ruin it.
Ironically, the only time someone beat me up out of jealousy I’d never even touched someone else! Figures. Presumably they were the one cheating; cheaters can be very jealous, because the trust part of their personalities is ruined; they also tend to be low-empathy and selfish, sorry to say.
I’ve been a cheater in most relationships I’ve had, and as a result, a self-hater for most relationships. I’ve been through therapy for about 8 years for other reasons and what I’ve come to learn is that I didn’t feel I deserved love, affection, or appreciation. This stems from a whole host of other things from my childhood (sexual abuse, lack of fatherly relationship, latchkey kid, etc.).
I treated relationships as though they were temporary even though they lasted for years. I’m a good-looking guy, so lots of women offer up temptation that I found difficult to reject. And each time, I hated myself for my indiscretions. I also picked relationships that were bad for me—cheater girlfriends, terrible communicators, insecure women, etc.