15. His bed had dinosaur sheets and an anime body pillow.
I’d been talking to this guy on a dating site for a while, and he certainly seemed cool enough, so I decided to go watch a movie at his house one night. When I got there, he was five inches shorter than described on his profile, and had a nerdy, high-pitched voice. Think Urkel, but not quite as bad. We walked into “his” house, which I quickly learned was actually his family’s home, and went to his downstairs bedroom. It was tiny, had no windows, and was COVERED in empty potato-chip bags and dirty clothes. You couldn’t see the floor. He also had dinosaur sheets on a twin bed, and one of those anime body pillows. I noped the fuck out.
16. On our first date while eating yogurt, he mapped out our entire future life together.
He was incredibly nice and smart when I met him online, and seemed super respectful—nothing odd at all. I agreed to meeting him on a date a few days later after messaging back and forth.
Everything is going good, we are having yogurt, when he suddenly breaks out telling me how we’re going to live our future, our future kids’ names, what we’re going to hang on the wall of our house, our wedding vows, our pet names, everything–down to how we’re going to make out that night after I agree to be his girlfriend. As nicely as I could, I told him that was super creepy and way too soon to be talking about that. Guy doesn’t think it’s odd at all.
I proceeded to nope out of there as fast as I could.
17. He wasn’t sure whether The X-Files was real.
He told me he’d been watching the X-Files obsessively because he couldn’t figure out if they were real or not.
18. She was suprised to know that salmon is a fish.
I stayed for the full date ’cause it was at my favorite place. She was so stupid, all she would talk about was how she ate salmon a lot and that’s why she had good hair; she said this 4 times. Then she told me in the way that made me think she only discovered this fact earlier that day, “Did you know salmon is a fish?!” I just kept nodding she would also say this 3 times like I didn’t believe her. Friends worked at the place and I tried so hard to get their attention to help me escape.
